The Adventures of Ford Fairlane Page #8

- Yeah, sure.

- There she is with Fairlane.

Harbouring a fugitive, Ford?

You're goin' down.

Sexual favours won't help, baby.

Cos it's booty time. Booty...

(falsetto) Booty time, booty time...

Happy viewing.

Jerk-off.

- What'd you say?

- I didn't say nothin', man.

Sh*t, man! You're the lead singer

of Disco Express.

"Booty Time" is the only white disco

song as far as I'm concerned.

- There's more where that came from, man.

- I'm listenin'.

(both)Booty time,

booty time across the USA

Booty time, booty time, yeah, yeah, yeah

- Isn't Sam great?

- Do you wanna come out with us?

I can't. Anybody see my assistant, Jazz?

She left. She said something

aboutyou being a real a**hole.

Right, right.

That sounds right.

("The Wind Cries Mary" by Richie Sambora)

Jazz is gone and I got the blues.

A lot of f***in' things are gone

and I got the blues.

I'll tell you, bein'an ultra-cool

rock 'n'roll superhero...

It sounded a lot better

in the brochure.

I can't believe it took a bunch of phoney CDs

to make me lose all my self-worth and sh*t.

I was just gonna take a nice long... nap.

Hello, hello.

I don't believe this.

Why did I pause before I pushed you, huh?

You know, if you weren't that kid's father...

- What are you talking about?

- The ring, man.

What about it? I stole it.

(giggles)

From some idiot in Fresno

that I strangled lastyear.

Perfect end

to a perfect evening, huh?

Un-f***in'-believable.

I mean, I start by having my koala bear hung,

and my house and car blown up.

That was just the beginning of the evening.

Just getting started.

Then I get to climb down the Capitol Records

building. Great exercise. I recommend it.

Then my guitar, my axe -

the one thing I love, next to Stanley -

..is nowtoothpicks for

the Hollywood homeless.

And then after I torch your boss,

my girlfriend leaves me.

She leaves me, hey? Terrific.

And now... now I get to die.

You're breakin' me heart.

What's the point?

The point is I wanna

go out man-to-man. Just me and you.

Put down the gun, let's go at it.

Come on, you f***in' sissy.

Are you afraid of me?

Come on, mano-to-mano.

Fisticuffs, baby. Let's go at it,

justyou and me. No one's around.

Come on, I've f***in' had it. Let's go!

(drops gun)

All right. Any way you want it.

You crack me up, you knowthat?

What kind of idiot throws his gun down?

Use your head.

Is there somethin' wrong with you or what?

I mean... Look. Look whatyou did.

Thanks for workin'.

Thanks for bein' a jerk-off.

I mean, "man-to-man", "mano-to-mano".

What the hell does "mano-to-mano" mean?

Use your head.

Snapper-head.

So here I am.

The bad guys are dead,

my life's ruined, and the case is closed.

Hey, what else can I say?

At least things can't get any more depressing.

So... did you find my dad?

Un-f***in'-believable.

I got some good news...

and I got some bad news.

The good news is, I found him.

The bad news...

It's me.

What kind of sentimental bullshit is this?

Hey, a guy tries to make a commitment,

I gotta eat sh*t?

Well, just tell me who my real father is.

He died. No bullshit.

But he loved you a lot

and he wants me to take care of you.

Come on, put it there.

That's it.

I mean, I got a heavy caseload,

you know what I mean?

Ford. Ford!

Come on.

Ford, I can't take this crap

between us any more. I'm sorry.

- I'm quitting.

- Dismount.

I love you.

- What kind of sentimental bullshit is this?

- That's exactly whatl said.

Jazz, look.

I'm sick of the hot clubs,

the hot cars, the hot chicks.

I'm sick of it. All the fun...

I wantyou.

You're saying I'm not fun?

You told me to say this stuff.

Look. I'm crazy aboutyou, all right?

You... you know what I'm sayin'.

No. I really don't know whatyou're saying.

But I like the tone of your voice.

I really like the tone of your voice.

It's a beautiful thing.

(phone rings)

Hit pay dirt with K-DIRT.

This is Bobby Ouch, K-DIRT's hottest new DJ!

You've won the K-DIR million-dollar giveaway.

- No sh*t.

- Hey, you can't say "sh*t" on the radio.

Oh, sh*t, now I just said it.

("Beyond the Sea" by Bobby Darin)

(Ford) Oh boy, I love the music industry.

Especially the tacky radio giveaway part.

What? You didn't really think we'd kill

the flucking koala bear, now, did you?

Somewhere

Beyond the sea

She's there watchingfor me

If I couldfly like birds on high

then straight to her arms...

(Ford) Look at this. The sun, the sea.

Un-f***in'- believable, heh?

("Sea Cruise" by Dion)

Old man rhythm's gotten in my shoes

No use sittin'here singin' the blues

So be my guest, you've got nothin' to lose

Won'tyou let me take you on a sea cruise?

-I said ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee, baby

Ooh-ooh-ee, ooh-ee, baby

Won'tyou let me take you on a sea cruise?

lfeel like jumpin'

Baby, won'tyou join me, please?

Oh, baby, please

I don't like beggin',

but now I'm on bended knee

-Oh, oh, oh, oh

-Knee

Oh, I've got to get to rockin',

get my hat off the rack

The boogie-woogie's

got me like a knife in the back

I said be my guest, you've got nothin' to lose

Won'tyou let me take you on a sea cruise?

-I said ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee

Oh, ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee

Oh, ooh-ee, baby

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ee, baby

Won'tyou let me take you on a sea cruise?

Yeah!

-Oh, oh, oh, oh

-Oh

I've got to get to movin'

Baby, I ain't lyin'

My heart is beatin'rhythm

and it's right on time

Be my guest, you've got nothin' to lose

Won'tyou let me take you on a sea cruise?

-Come on, ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh-ee

-Ooh

Ooh-ee, baby

Won'tyou let me take you on a sea cruise?

lfeel like jumpin'

Baby, won'tyou join me, please?

Come on, please

I don't like beggin', baby,

but now I'm on bended knee

-Oh, oh, oh, oh

-Knee, oh

-Ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee

Ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh-ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee

Ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh-ee, come on, ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh

Won'tyou let me take you on a sea cruise?

-I said ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee

Oh, ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee

Ooh-ee, baby

Ooh-ooh-ee, ooh-ee, baby

Won'tyou let me take you on a sea cruise?

Yeah!

-Oh, oh, oh, oh

-Oh

I got to get to movin'

Baby, I ain't lyin'

My heart is beatin'rhythm

and it's right on time

Be my guest, you've got nothin' to lose

Won'tyou let me take you on a sea cruise?

Come on, ooh-ee

Ooh-ee

Ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee

Ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh-ee, ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh

Won'tyou let me take you on a sea cruise?

lfeel like jumpin'

Baby, won'tyou join me, please?

Come on, please

I don't like beggin', baby,

but now I'm on bended knee

-Oh, oh, oh, oh

-Knee, oh

-Ooh-ee

-Ooh-ee

Ooh-ee, baby

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ee

Ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh-ee, come on, ooh-ee, baby

-Ooh

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