The Angriest Man in Brooklyn Page #7

- Oh, f***, no.

Yes! You go, girl!

Whoo!

- Did he call?

- No.

He might not try you here again.

- What if he dies before I talk to him?

- Don't go there.

Well, I didn't take the call.

It's not your fault. He's-

He wasn't always.

Like, when I was seven,

he taught me how to play gin rummy.

I hated it 'cause I could never beat him.

So he taught me how to cheat.

He was so big and loud and fun.

Then Peter died.

And I left.

And everything changed.

He used to be so affectionate.

He was like a major hugger.

Hasn't done that in a while.

Sweetie.

Maybe he's calling the apartment,

or going there.

Think we should wait there?

Well, 6:
18.

Yeah.

Go on.

I gotta wipe this car down, torch it.

- Really?

- No. No.

But I'll probably park it

next to a fire hydrant.

- Henry.

- Yeah.

It'll be all right.

- Sharon?

- Hey.

Can you call Bernstein

and have him prep a room for Henry Altmann?

Sure.

Is everything all right?

I don't know.

Why does it seem so inviting?

Hi.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Tommy.

How you feeling?

Uh... I've been better.

For now, I'm okay.

Remember that time on the bridge

when I was a kid?

- What time?

- With this?

No.

Come on, you were humming,

singing it, and-

And what?

We started dancing.

- Did we?

- Yeah.

Show me.

You're good.

You should do this for a living.

I missed this, kiddo.

What time is it?

Uh, 7:
02.

And you will notice...

you're still alive.

That's nice.

Yeah, it is.

Would you wanna know

when you were gonna die?

No.

But if you did...

what would you do

if you knew how long you had?

I would try and figure out

how to be happy.

Then why don't you?

Maybe I will.

If it's all right with you,

I'm gonna close my eyes now.

No one expected Henry to survive one day.

Instead, he lived for eight days.

It was sort of like the Hanukkah miracle.

In that eight days,

he had long talks with his wife...

shared one last brown bag lunch

with his brother...

and cheated his son at gin rummy.

My tombstone will say,

"Henry Altmann, 1951 dash 2014."

I never knew till now,

it's not the dates that matter...

- it's the dash.

- The dash?

You little shtarker.

You already knew that, didn't you?

Kind of.

You picked your own path.

You lived your life,

even though it pissed me off.

I'm proud of you, kid. Gin.

- That card was up your sleeve.

- No, worse.

For eight days,

Henry Altmann never got angry even once.

Except at the very end,

when he told death to go f*** himself.

And then he turned his thoughts

to things that pleased him...

and sailed away.

No one expected

Sharon Gill to go back to her old life.

And, indeed, she did not.

On the same day, she quit her job...

her pills and Dr. Fielding.

And then signed up to work

at a free clinic on Bergen Street...

where she could spend

more than 15 minutes per patient...

and be the doctor

she always wanted to be.

By summer, she felt she kept

her promise to Henry to be happy.

Enough to adopt a new cat...

and to begin to date again.

What about you guys?

Any plans for this winter?

We might go on a bike tour in Hawaii.

No, I don't bicycle well.

Dad didn't teach us.

Henry hated bicycles.

What? Why?

He considered them predatory.

All right, speaking of, huh,

who's got Henry?

Yeah, let's do this.

I do. I do.

- Mom, will you?

- Brown paper bag.

- He's a simple man.

- I love it.

As Henry Altmann prepared to go into

the East River for the second time...

he added "Being in the East River"...

to the list of things he hated.

But he also felt at peace...

secure in the knowledge that somehow...

he would live on in the hearts

of those who loved him.

Hey! What the f***

do you think you're doing?

What the hell?

I ask you, what the hell?

What do you think we're doing, littering?

What are you,

the River Beautification Patrol?

I ask you, do you think we're sprinkling

fairy dust all over Brooklyn?

Are you the Fairy Dust Police?

Are you one of those guys

that hates anything that tinkles?

Have you no humility?

No f***ing manners?

It's ashes, you moron!

A ground-up friend,

husband and father, you a**hole!

If you can't understand that,

why don't you come over here?

- Leave it alone!

- Come here and talk to us!

What, you don't have a father?

You don't have a father?

Yeah, you better run! You better run!

F*** you!

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