The Avengers Page #6

Before Emma can reply, the door opens...

SIR AUGUST:

Ah, Lady June ...

Emma's attention switches to LADY JUNE, a buxom lady in a sou'wester and galoshes,

who wheels in a tray of scones.

LADY JUNE:

Dear August. Loves his showers.

Like a baby.

(beat)

Scones, Mrs. Peel?

EMMA:

Thank you, Lady -- June ...

Emma sees Sir August gazing wistfully out of the window, which is rapidly

darkening ...

SIR AUGUST:

Ah, beautiful. Just as he promised.

EMMA:

Promised? Who promised?

SIR AUGUST:

There, look!

Emma looks, sees rain start to pitter-patter on the windows. Emma exchanges looks

with June as the rain starts pouring.

SIR AUGUST:

Imagine being caught out in a blow

like that!

76 EXT. MOORLAND - DAY

THUNDER and lightning -- Steed is caught out in it; puts up his umbrella; wanders

over the brow of a hill, past a big sign: "No Trespassers." Rains more. And more.

Turns to a tempest, as --

STEED:

I say, this is a bit much.

Lashed by rain ' Steed carries on to the brow of the hill. He looks over, peers through

the mist at --

A deep purple cloud. Mushrooming towards him.

Steed can't escape it. It envelops him. Starts to blink. Cough. Footsteps less sure.

Surrounded by thick purple haze

Steed stumbles and falls

Down a hill. Tumbles to the bottom. He knocks his head on a rock. Steed blinks,

shakes his head. Eyes refocus. He sees

77 UNDULATING SAND DUNES

Sun shining down on yellow sand, a barren vista. Dead trees. Suddenly Steed's in the

Sahara. A heat haze shimmers.

Steed blinks, thinks he's dreaming when he sees ...

78 IN DISTANCE - RED PHONE BOX

Steed heads towards it. The PHONE BOX seems further away. Like an optical

illusion. Then hears RINGING.

Steed still bowler-hatted. Overcoat. Perspiring. Takes off bowler, wipes brow.

Adjusts rose in buttonhole. It wilts.

He arrives at the phone box. Opens the door. Steed picks up the RINGING PHONE,

listens to --

A SCRATCHY ORCHESTRAL RECORDING of "The Merry Widow."

STEED:

'The Merry Widow'...?

Over the MUSIC, a strange --

VOICE (V.O.)

(filtered)

... Hello ... Hello? ... Who the

hell...? Who is this? ... You must

leave the test area. I repeat,

leave the area ... Help is on the

way ...

CLICK. The line goes dead. Steed is baffled. Steps out, sees --

79 ON HORIZON

a shimmering heat haze. A figure on a camel moving towards them. Steed watches

amazed, as the camel pads closer ...

The mirage arrives. The rider dismounts. A woman in yashmak and veils. She draws

closer. Drops the veils to reveal --

Emma Peel. In her black leather catsuit.

.STEED

Mrs. Peel. Good of you to drop by.

And I see you're wearing your -

riding outfit?

Emma moves closer. Steed smiles at her. Emma closer and -- chop! -- gives a kung-fu

jab to the throat, a kick to the balls, a jab to the stomach. As Steed lies on the

ground --

STEED:

Manners, Mrs. Peel.

Emma takes out a .38 GUN, points at his heart, FIRES --

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! FOUR SHOTS --

80 EMMA'S POV

-- The bullets strike his chest. Round his heart. Steed slumps back on the sands. Eyes

close ...

81 EMMA

moves over him. Drops a small toy snowshaker into his curled fingers. Blows a good

bye kiss.

82 STEED'S POV82

The sun. Clouds roll by. The camel peers down at him.

FADE TO BLACK.

Sound of CLACKING ...

FADE IN:

83 INT. SECRET SERVICE HOSPITAL - DAY

A hospital ward. Empty apart from one bed. A nurse (Brenda in her red leather), her

spiked heels clacking on the floor, brings over a cup of tea to

Steed in a hospital bed. Who wakes, surprised to see Emma. Peering over him. Very

nonchalant. Eating his grapes.

STEED:

Ah, Brenda ...

(as she leaves)

Mrs. Peel?

EMMA:

You should be dead. How do you

feel?

STEED:

(eyes her)

Strange.

EMMA:

You were very lucky. Four shots to

the heart. I found you after I slipped

away from Sir August. Mother brought

you here. Not me you should thank.

STEED:

I wasn't about to.

EMMA:

I mean your man Trubshaw. Your

bullet-proof waistcoat. I thought

you were just overdressed.

STEED:

I might say the same.

84 FROM GALLERY

Mother with Dr. Darling taking notes. Emma looks up at them. Drops to a whisper.

But they both are wearing headphones.

EMMA:

Mother and Dr. Darling have me

under observation. They think I

tried to kill you.

STEED:

Why should they think that?

EMMA:

You told them. You said I arrived

on a camel, shot you four times.

Left you for dead.

STEED:

Frankly that's how I remember it.

EMMA:

But that's absurd. I may not be

over-fond of you, Steed, but it's

not my style.

STEED:

Perhaps your memory plays tricks,

Mrs. Peel.

EMMA:

(conceding)

That's possible. Sir August was convinced

he'd met me before. But I'd never met him.

Another odd thing. When it rained, he said

it was just as someone had promised.

STEED:

Did he say who?

EMMA:

No. But he must know. Incidentally,

my double left you with this.

Emma shows Steed the toy snow scene. A winter wonderland snow scene. He looks

puzzlingly at it. On its underneath. "The Wonderland Corporation," followed by --

STEED:

An invitation. To a 'formal picnic'...?

EMMA:

Did you say formal? I must dress.

85 EXT. LONDON STREET - NIGHT

The sporty Jag pulls up outside a tall, swanky building. Steed gets out, opens her door.

Irritated, Emma steps out of the car, clad in her leather suit --

86 CLOSEUP OF HER HEEL

hitting the street. PAN UP TO Steed, admiring --

STEED:

I must say, you look more your

old self --

EMMA:

You mean my other self ...

STEED:

Either way ... may I ask: why

you dress in that fashion?

EMMA:

I should have thought that was

obvious ...

(off his smirk)

I'm in mourning.

She moves off. Stay on his poker face.

STEED:

I can't wait to see afternoon.

He joins her; they survey the building.

EMMA:

Where's the picnic?

They look up to --

87 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT

A boardroom suite, overlooking London. Lights twinkling --

Around a conference table. Twelve TEDDY BEARS. Each six feet tall. Ridiculous

and sinister. In pink, turquoise, brown, black, white, green. Furry, giant paws and

ears, swivel eyes. One teddy sports a familiar tartan ...

On the table, children's party food: jellies, hundreds and thousands, birthday cakes.

And wrapped presents before each.

Each bear has a name-badge: Bobby, Bobo, Bruno, Bibi, Betty, Binky etc. pinned to

their fur. A children's tune, "THE TEDDY BEAR'S PICNIC," plays. Followed by -

a gavel rapping order.

A distinctively chilling voice, eerily familiar and seductive, which ECHOES through our

story --

VOICE (V.O.)

(filtered)

Ladies, gentlemen and bears ...

The teddy bears look round. Can't hear who's talking.

VOICE (V.O.)

(filtered)

Today is history. The first day of the future.

I welcome you to the first general meeting

of the Wonderland Corporation, now allied

with our colleagues from Brolly ...

Murmurs of congratulations amongst the bears ...

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