The Awful Truth Page #3

That`s just exactly what I said,

``l don`t think the rain will stop us.``

Besides, I think it`ll let up in a few minutes,

Miss Warriner.

Mr. Leeson`s a neighbor.

He lives across the hall with his mother.

-That`s what you said, right?

-Yes, with my mother.

We`re here on a visit. I`m in oil, you know.

Marinated, so to speak.

Say, that`s a good one!

I got to remember to tell that to my mother.

Mr. Leeson, won`t you tell us

something about Oklahoma?

Oklahoma`s pretty swell.

I got quite a ranch down there.

Like you to see it sometime, Miss Warriner.

I don`t get out there very....

I got cattle and horses

and chickens and alfalfa and--

-Hello, Jerry.

-Patsy, how are things?

-We weren`t expecting you.

-Why, what goes on?

Hiya, fellow! Mr. Smith, how have you been?

I`ll see you in a minute, boy. Yeah, sure.

-Hello, Jerry.

-Hello, Lucy.

What might you be doing here?

Have you forgotten

this is my day to visit Mr. Smith?

It says so right there.

I`m so sorry.

Mr. Leeson, this is my husband.

He`s only my husband for,

how much longer is it now, 60 days?

-Fifty-nine.

-That`s better, only 59 days.

And don`t worry about him,

he has a Continental mind.

-Excuse me, what did you say?

-l`m glad to know you.

How can you be glad to know me?

I know how l`d feel if I was with a girl

and her husband walked in.

I`ll bet you do.

I don`t think you ought to go around

telling people you`re not married.

He looks a nice fellow.

How do you think he feels?

-Why don`t you go play with the dog?

-You go on with whatever you were doing.

Don`t mind me.

Any new dogs in the neighborhood?

Been chasing any cats?

Sit down, Mr. Leeson.

-Tell me some more about Arizona.

-Oklahoma.

I mean Oklahoma. That`s me for you!

Is he getting enough to eat lately?

He doesn`t look well.

You don`t look so hot yourself.

I don`t think he`s getting enough exercise.

He`s got circles under his eyes.

-The court ruled--

-What about a tune, boy?

Yes. You see,

there`s nothing we can do about it.

Don`t worry about it, Mr. Leeson.

Go right ahead.

-My main business is oil.

-Oil?

Sing it!

I do pretty well.

I have a ranch. My hobby is horses.

Hobby horses!

Come on, let`s get out of here.

-Goodbye, Jerry.

-Goodbye, Warriner.

What`s the matter?

-Are you sure you don`t like that fellow?

-Like him!

-You saw how I treated him, didn`t you?

-That`s what I mean.

On my ranch I got a little red rooster

and a little brown hen...

and they fight all the time, too.

But once in a while, they make up again,

and they`re right friendly.

-`Morning, Ma.

-Well? It was daylight when you came in.

I had a wonderful time. I met a girl--

That`s what I thought.

You keep your mind off women.

I can`t, Ma.

You can`t?

That`s what your father always said.

Of course I like Dan Leeson. Why not?

He`s sweet and thoughtful.

You should be the last one to object,

you introduced him to me.

He was a man who could take us out.

I didn`t expect you to get silly about him.

There`s nothing wrong in liking a man

who`s sane and considerate.

I was married to one

who was insane and inconsiderate.

Your toast is burning.

-What`s her name?

-Lucy Warriner.

Probably an alias.

You`ll laugh for talking that way

when you meet Lucy.

She won`t want to meet me. She knows

any woman could see through her.

Don`t talk that way about Lucy.

I`m crazy about her.

I believe she kind of likes me, too.

I think l`m in love.

Do you know what rebound is?

Trying to get over one love

by bouncing into love with somebody else.

It`s fine, except the rebound is rarely

the real thing. In fact, it`s the bunk.

There`s the first bounce, the second, and....

Well, look at me.

You wind up like an old tennis ball.

I`m serious about Dan Leeson.

I like him very much.

I`m all through with Jerry,

he means nothing.

I don`t love him, and I probably never did.

I`m sure I never loved him. Now I hate him.

That surprises you, doesn`t it?

I hate Jerry Warriner

and I like Dan Leeson very much.

I hope he`s crazy about me,

because he`s the finest man l`ve met.

I know, my toast is burning.

You`re awful sweet and all that,

but your mind`s always on something else.

Or maybe someone else. Is it, sugar pie?

No, l`m in love with love.

``ln the spring,

a young man`s fancy lightly turns to``...

what he`s been thinking about all winter.

How long have you talked

like Amos and Andy?

For quite some time.

I got wise to the fact

that it helps me in my work.

So, as long as I work,

you`ll have to pardon my Southern accent.

Well, shut my mouth,

who`s that gorgeous-looking creature?

Have you heard that gag

that`s been flying around town?

``Who was that lady I saw you with?``

You mean, that`s no lady, that`s your wife?

I like this place best

of all the spots l`ve been to.

-You do?

-Maybe it`s because l`m so happy.

-Just think of it, Lucy. You`ll be my wife.

-Yes, I am thinking of it.

I`ve hoped for it

ever since that first night I met you.

I can hardly wait for your final decree

to come along.

It`ll come along, Dan.

Incidentally,

here`s my husband coming along.

-Hello, folks.

-Hello.

This is Dixie Belle Lee.

This is Mrs. Warriner, and Mr. Leeson,

the gentleman Mrs. Warriner will marry.

-lt`s mighty fine meeting you.

-Now come along.

Now, you`re sure we`re not intruding?

-What do you mean?

-Wouldn`t you like us to have a drink?

-Yes, of course.

-Sit down.

My, isn`t this cozy?

So, you two are going to be married.

I was glad to hear that. I said to myself,

``That Leeson`s just the man for Lucy.``

-Then I said to myself--

-He`s always talking to himself.

-lsn`t this a charming place?

-Do you really like it?

I`m so glad.

I almost feel like the place is mine.

-You come here often?

-I work here, didn`t you know that?

No.

You`re from the South, aren`t you?

Well, now isn`t he just the cleverest gent?

How`d y`all ever guess that?

I don`t know, it was just a shot in the dark.

But Dixie Belle Lee isn`t her real name.

-No?

-No, she changed it, you see...

because her family objected

to her going into show business.

My folks thought I was going to the dogs

when I decided to go to work.

I`m sure you`ll be a big success,

and then they`ll be proud of you.

Thank you. It`s real nice of you to say that.

I`d better go now and get ready.

-Can you stay and see my act?

-We`ll stay.

-Nothing could drag us away.

-See you later, then.

-She seems like a nice girl.

-lndeed.

Enough about Dixie Belle for the moment.

Let`s talk about yourselves.

So you`re going to live in Oklahoma, Lucy?

How I envy you.

Ever since I was a small boy

that name has been filled with magic for me.

Oklahoma.

We`re going to live right in Oklahoma City.

Not Oklahoma City itself?

Lucy, you lucky girl.

No more running around the nightspots.

No more prowling around

in New York shops.

I`ll think of you whenever a show opens

and say to myself:.

``She`s well out of it.``

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote