The Babysitter Page #4

ARE YOU ASKING ME IF I'M HAVING AN AFFAIR?

THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD ME...

I'M SORRY. EXCUSE ME.

[RING]

SHE GETTING OUT TO ANSWER THE PHONE?

A THOUGHT JUST CAME TO ME, JACK.

WHAT?

THINK SHE REMEMBERED TO LOCK THE FRONT DOOR

WHEN SHE SLAMMED IT IN YOUR FACE?

I DON'T KNOW.

OH, MAN.

ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?

[RING]

[RING]

COME ON, YOU LITTLE B*TCH. ANSWER THE PHONE.

BILL!

DOLLY.

[RINGING]

IT'S, UH...

I WAS CALLING TO SEE IF THE KIDS WERE O.K.

HELLO. TUCKER RESIDENCE.

MORE CHAMPAGNE, DOLLY?

[GIGGLING]

OH, BILL.

I DON'T THINK I SHOULD DRINK SO MUCH.

[THUNDER]

[TELEVISION PLAYS]

ONLY WHEN YOU BABYSIT.

WHOA.

[BANGS HEAD]

SH*T.

WHO IS IT?

UH...

UM...

I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

I THINK YOU CAME IN JUST TO SEE ME IN THE TUB.

YOU'RE A VERY BAD BOY, JIMMY.

JIMMY.

SINCE YOU BOTHERED ME,

YOU MIGHT AS WELL SOAP MY BACK.

I...

I DROPPED THE SOAP.

WELL, HELP ME FIND IT, JIMMY.

HELP ME FIND IT.

[DOOR BANGING]

MAN, I PLAYED THIS TRICK ON MY BABYSITTER A MILLION TIMES.

YOU GO INSIDE THE HOUSE AND CALL THE NUMBER.

THE SECOND THE CALL GOES THROUGH, HANG UP.

THE PHONE'LL RING, BUT THERE WON'T BE ANYBODY THERE.

I DON'T KNOW.

THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT. THIS IS GOING TO WORK.

WHEN SHE PICKS IT UP,

TELL HER THERE'S A PROWLER IN THE HOUSE.

THAT'LL BE GOOD. THERE'S A PROWLER,

AND YOU WANT TO COME AND PROTECT HER.

[DOOR OPENS]

HELLO, DOLLY.

[DOOR CLOSES]

THEY'RE GOING TO CART ME OFF

TO AN OLD FOLKS HOME IN A WHEELBARROW...

OH, TO HELL WITH IT.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[BILL] DOLLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

WHAT IS IT?

IT'S BILL. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YES! EVERYTHING'S FINE.

I'M GOING BACK TO THE PARTY.

YOU HANDLE IT?

TELL ME IF I CAN HELP.

[FAST BEEPING]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

JESUS.

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

HELLO?

TUCKER RESIDENCE.

HELLO.

HELLO.

WHO IS THIS?

HELLO--AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

OH!

IT'S ME. IT'S ME. RELAX.

I'M HERE TO PROTECT YOU. FROM JACK.

HE'S RIPPED.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

JACK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING,

BUT YOU BOTH BETTER LEAVE.

LISTEN. LISTEN, I'M SORRY. O.K.

THIS IS A BAD IDEA.

YEAH. YEAH. BAD IDEA.

UH, THE THING IS, IS, UH...

WE WERE DOING A LITTLE DRINKING TONIGHT,

AND WE'RE BOTH KIND OF HAMMERED.

I DON'T KNOW IF WE SHOULD BE DRIVING.

I MEAN, THE STREETS ARE WET AND ALL THAT.

I MEAN, I'LL DRIVE IF I HAVE TO,

BUT IT'S KIND OF DANGEROUS.

I'D RATHER HAVE YOU PISSED OFF AT US

AND, YOU KNOW, NOT HURT ANYBODY OR OURSELVES.

CAN'T WE JUST HAVE, LIKE, 15 MINUTES OR SOMETHING?

WE CAN HANG OUT AND SOBER UP A LITTLE.

ONE CUP OF COFFEE, YOU GUYS ARE OUT OF HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE, MAN?

[WOMAN YELPING]

HEY, THAT'S ENOUGH, MAN.

WHAT?

IT'S ENOUGH!

AND WHO SAYS?

I DO.

OH, YOU DO, HUH?

YEAH.

WELL, F*** YOU, MAN.

NO, SEE, UH, I SAY WHEN.

GOD DAMN, JACK.

THANKS, MAN.

[JENNIFER SCREAMS]

SH*T.

TILTED HER, MAN.

F***.

WE GOT TO GET HER OUT OF HERE, MAN.

OH, NO. COME ON, MARK.

HE'S JUST A KID.

WE GOT TO, MAN...

OR WE'RE DEAD.

MY GOD, YOU GUYS. GO TO BED.

EVERYTHING'S O.K. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

WHO ARE THEY?

THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS OF MINE.

PLEASE DON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS. GO TO BED.

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO A REST HOME.

DOLLY, IT'S O.K.

NOBODY'S GOING TO MAKE YOU GO TO A REST HOME.

ALL HE DOES IS FANTASIZE

ABOUT THE GODDAMN BABYSITTER!

[SNORING]

MR. TUCKER!

SORRY.

I JUST, UH...

WANTED SOME...ASPIRIN.

MR. TUCKER--

THIS ISN'T THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE, LITTLE GIRL.

YOU KNOW?

MR. TUCKER!

MR. TUCKER! AAH!

[SOFTLY SOBBING]

DOLLY. DOLLY, HERE. LET ME DO THIS.

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? DID DOLLY FALL IN?

NO, DOLLY FELL OUT!

I'M DRUNK.

COFFEE'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.

THANKS.

CAN I-- CAN I SMOKE IN HERE?

NO.

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SOUNDS OR ANYTHING, DO YOU?

SOUNDS?

MUSIC?

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

THERE. MUSIC.

AFTER THE COFFEE, YOU LEAVE.

I LIE STILL IN THE GARDEN

I LIE STILL IN THE GARDEN

YOU'VE BEEN COOL AS A FISH

I'VE BEEN MAKIN' SURE

YOU'VE BEEN BUSTIN' YOUR STITCHES

TELLIN' THE HITS...

I'M GOING TO GO CHECK ON THE COFFEE.

[MUSIC PLAYS LOUDER]

ALL RIGHT, JACK.

OHH!

GIVE HER A LITTLE LESSON THERE.

CAN DANCE ON THE WINDOWPANE

AND HOW I CAN I LOVE HER THE SAME

BUT I'M SILENT

THERE. I DID IT.

I LIE STILL IN THE GARDEN

I LIE STILL IN THE GARDEN

OH...

JACK.

JACK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

JACK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!

I W-W--

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO DO?

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?

YOU'RE TRYING TO DO IT WITH MARK HERE?

I WOUL--Mark.

YOU'RE REALLY, TRULY A SICK F***.

JUST SO YOU KNOW.

IT'S YOUR OWN TIME

BRACE YOURSELF FOR

SUCH A GOOD TIME...

JACK, STOP. THAT'S ENOUGH.

JACK, STOP!

YOU WON, ALL RIGHT?

I LIE STILL IN THE GARDEN

[THUNDER]

UHH...

[MUMBLING]

B*TCH!

I CAN'T GO WITHOUT MY GODDAMN KEYS!

OH, MY. WHAT WILL THE NEIGHBORS THINK?

ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT YOU AND ME.

COME AGAIN?

WELL, DON'T YOU FIND ME ATTRACTIVE?

DOLLY, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU'VE BEEN FLIRTING WITH ME.

WHAT?

YOU FIND ME ATTRACTIVE.

WELL, DOLLY...

YOU...YOU'VE BEEN ASKING ME

IF I WANT TO HAVE AN AFFAIR.

ISN'T THAT IT?

DOLLY.

[MOANING]

[YELLING]

[BOTH YELLING]

OHH!

OHH. WHAT WILL THE NEIGHBORS THINK?

DOLLY! YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK SO MUCH.

OH, GOD!

MAYBE IF I WAS A GIRL, HUH?

IF I WAS LIKE A RIPE YOUNG GIRL,

LIKE 16 OR SO.

YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE AT THAT, DON'T YOU, BILLY?

YOU JUST GET ONE CHANCE.

WELL, WELL, WELL. WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

NOTHING, TUCKER.

DOLLY AND I WERE JUST--

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. GIVE ME MY GODDAMN KEYS.

COME ON! HMM?

SUIT YOURSELF.

I DREAM OF JEANNIE WITH THE LIGHT BROWN...

SHUT UP, HARRY!

YEAH!

HER THIGHS SPREAD OUT

ON A COUCH ON TOP OF THE GODDAMN KITCHEN TABLE,

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! HA HA HA HA HA.

DOLLY, MY GOD, NO!

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. I CAN EXPLAIN. REALLY!

[BANG]

WITH THE LIGHT BROWN BUSH

HEH HEH HEH!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?

JESUS, WHAT A MONKEY.

THIS WAS ALL YOUR IDEA, PAL.

YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

LIKE YOU DIDN'T F***IN' DRAG ME OVER HERE.

THIS WAS HIS IDEA!

COULD YOU PLEASE JUST BOTH LEAVE?

YOU'LL BE SORRY, MARK.

GREAT. THREATEN ME.

ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF TALK?

YOU GOT TO BELIEVE ME.

YOU SHOULD'VE HEARD WHAT PERVERT BOY HAD IN MIND.

CAN YOU PLEASE JUST BOTH LEAVE?

I DON'T WANT ANY MORE TROUBLE.

I'M SORRY.

YEAH, I'M SORRY, TOO.

I TOLD HIM THAT YOU WERE SOMETHING SPECIAL.

HOW YOU DON'T REALLY DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

YOU LET HIM DO IT TO YOU, DIDN'T YOU?

EXCUSE ME?

YOU LET MARK DO IT TO YOU.

WHAT ABOUT THAT, HUH? WHAT ABOUT THAT, HUH?

JACK, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! AH!

OHH.

IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT, JACK?

I NEVER F***ED HIM, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

IF THAT'S WHY YOU CAME OVER HERE.

YOU WERE SET UP?

HE SET YOU UP? DON'T!

YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY?

F*** YOU.

AND F*** YOU, TOO, YOU LIAR.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S REAL OR NOT ANYMORE.

BUT YOU ARE DEAD, BUDDY.

YOU ARE DEAD!

JACK! STOP!

JACK! JACK, STOP IT!

JACK, COME ON!

JACK! STOP!

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