The Back-up Plan Page #7

I'm sorry.

That was too far.

Yeah. That was too far.

But you know l'm right.

Stop talking.

My pillow doesn't talk.

It just lies there and shuts up.

Don't beg, Nuts.

My God, you are stubborn.

Knock, knock.

Who's ready to celebrate?

Oh, Mona, I'm so glad you're here...

...because now

I can tell both of you together.

I'm getting married.

-What?

-What?

Next weekend.

We finally decided to do it.

Oh, my God.

It finally hit me.

This man loves me, and l love him.

What the hell am l waiting for?

Oh, l have you to thank for it, Zoe.

Just seeing you and Stan together,

how happy you are.

You know, the way you've just thrown

caution to the wind...

...and decided to go for it.

I want some of that too.

What?

Stan and I broke up.

-He said the babies weren't his.

-He didn't mean to say it.

-Tell her the whole story.

-He said it.

If he said it, he thinks it.

If he thinks it, then he feels it.

And if he feels it,

what choice do l have?

Zoe, you know that's not true.

You're just looking for another way

to back out.

-Thank you.

-l'm not gonna do this.

This man has chosen to be with you

and raise your kids as his own.

You're just gonna throw that all away

for some stupid word choice?

-Look at you.

-Oh, look at you.

I'm worried about you.

No, don't worry.

I'm great. l'm great.

I'm just emotional.

Come on,

let me just finish your makeup.

Honey, you don't always have

to be so strong.

I know you learned it from me, but it's

no good. What does it get you?

It means that l take care of myself,

just like you always did.

No, Arthur takes care of me.

He's been taking care of me for

Zoe, stop pushing people away.

-l don't want to talk about this, okay?

-Listen to me.

Zoe, you will never have

a healthy relationship...

...with Stan or any man if you don't.

You have to learn to trust people.

Okay?

What is that?

It's your custom stroller,

the Twin X Torpedo.

I didn't order this.

Your husband did.

Or your boyfriend.

I don't know exactly

what your relationship is.

Stan? When did he do that?

About a month ago.

You don't like it. Sh*t.

We worked really hard on this one.

He wasn't gonna leave, was he?

I'm not really sure

what's happening here.

Oh, God. We gotta go get him.

What? l'm getting married in

-Weddings never start on time.

-We can't be late. He's 93 years old.

Stop it.

Pick up.

He has to pick up.

I'm gonna hurl that thing

into the f***ing holy water.

Is this new? "The Zoe?"

Yeah, it's the first week

it's been out.

Can l have a sample? What's it like?

It's stubborn, overly suspicious

and distrustful of men.

-This song is taking forever.

-This song's never gonna be over.

What time is it, Shadybrook?

That's right. lt's conga time.

Everybody, get out there

and shake those titanium hips.

-Conga.

-Conga time.

I need to talk to you

for two seconds.

-We really gotta go. Come on.

-We have to go.

Please, get me out of here.

I can't find any exit signs

behind the purple flowers.

Who knew the conga was

this much fun?

I have rhythm all of a sudden.

Oh, sh*t.

Why is the floor wet?

-Damn it, not again. No, not me.

-lt wasn't me.

-Not me.

-Nope.

I think my water just broke.

Baby time!

Stop it!

What can we do for you, darling?

This dress is tight.

I can do it. lf you want to let me.

Grab the strap.

-Fingernail.

-Can we make a pit stop?

You can't drive in here!

Okay. Move it. Out of the way.

Lady with a baby.

Are you just gonna leave it there?

-What's going on?

-Your muffins suck!

-l'm going out of my mind.

-What are you doing?

I'm trying to call you and

doing the conga. My dress is falling.

When they say labor's painful,

they're not kidding. Really hurts.

-You're in labor?

-But the stroller came. lt's so beautiful.

Oh, God! That hurts.

-Why didn't you pick up your phone?

-When?

I called you a hundred times.

I wanted you at the wedding.

-What wedding?

-lt was so beautiful.

And then it wasn't.

People slipping everywhere.

Oh, God, l hope nobody got hurt.

-You're not making any sense.

-No, that's just it.

Everything makes sense.

All of a sudden,

everything is just so crystal clear.

And the thing that's the clearest...

...is that l am so madly, deeply,

and completely in love with you.

I can't imagine spending

another minute apart.

Stan.

Stan?

Zoe, after all this time,

you come in here and you expect--

I gotta go to the hospital. I gotta go.

-Zoe.

-Let's go. Move it! Get the lead out.

-Zoe, wait up! Zoe, wait.

-Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Listen. How do l know when things get

tough, you won't just run away again?

I can't handle it. You broke my heart.

You completely destroyed me.

You destroyed me too! lt's not like

this has been easy for me!

Son of a b*tch!

Just breathe through it.

It's gonna be okay.

Don't you tell me it's gonna be okay!

You don't know it's gonna be okay.

It hurts. I'm scared.

It is gonna be okay!

-Refrain from yelling at the patient.

-l'm not yelling!

-l'm getting her to see my point!

-Sounds like yelling.

What will it take for you to believe

I'm here forever?

You had to see a stupid stroller?

I've been to every doctor's

appointment with you.

I picked out names with you.

I saved this

from the very first day we met.

It's the one that was tails-up.

You flipped it to heads.

I've kept it this whole time.

And it's brought me

the most incredible luck.

I can't believe you kept that.

What about the fact that,

like it or not...

...l will be here holding your hand

through this?

What about the fact that l'm gonna be

here when these babies are born?

Because I love their mommy.

And what l want more

than anything else in the world...

...is to be their daddy.

But you have to promise me

that from now on...

...you'll believe me when I say l'm in.

And l'm not going anywhere.

Can you do that?

Can you?

Yes.

Okay.

-All right, now push. Time to push. Go.

-Okay.

Breathe, breathe.

Breathe.

"Remember my three rules.

No touch, no talk

and no eye contact...

...while the dog's nose is busy

analyzing our energy...

...and all the different scents

in our body.

This sniffing can last

from three seconds to a minute.

It's important not to interrupt

the dog...

...while she's intent

on accomplishing this ritual."

You know, one day...

...l'm gonna tell you girls the story

of your mommy and me.

Cesar should write a book

about that one.

Talk about a bestseller.

Come here.

That's nice.

Come here.

It was a battle,

but they finally fell asleep.

Penny had to poop and then--

Don't talk about Penny's poop

when l'm about to kiss you.

Okay.

It's perfect.

You know what the best part is?

You can stop in for lunch

every single day.

-All right. You're here.

-Speech. Speech.

Okay, thank you.

Thank you all for coming.

This has been a dream for me

for a long time.

And l need to thank one person

for giving me the courage to do it.

-To Zoe.

-Zoe!

From the moment you stole my cab...

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