The Back-up Plan Page #8

...from the day you dissed me

at the farmers' market...

...l have been totally

and completely under your spell.

I love you.

And you've made me

the happiest man alive.

It was my cab.

Come over here for a minute.

-Give me that.

-What?

Since we do everything backwards

and in hyperspeed...

...l was wondering if we could do...

...what naturally follows

having twins together.

Oh, my....

Holy sh*t!

Will you marry me?

Say yes.

Yes.

-l can't believe it.

-l know.

-Did we really just get engaged?

-Yes, we did.

Soon you will be my wife.

Stan.

-Action.

-What?

Dakota was born right here.

Right where you're sitting, actually.

How did you do that here

in this chair?

The seat comes up.

-What do you have in your hand?

-Daddy, poo-poo.

What a good girl. You're okay.

Tuck, get up there. Go on.

Go on. Go on. Go on.

Now, wait a minute!

Just one second!

When did you eat corn?

Is this cat sh*t?

No.

We don't even know

what kind of sh*t it is.

Go on, go on. Good, good, good.

Go on, go on, go on.

Take one. Take five. Take 1 0.

Fifteen. Twenty-four.

-There. Happy now?

-You know what goes in those things?

-Oh, my God.

-Awesome.

Yeah, do that. That would be nice.

Oh, God.

Breast to face. There is

no better bond that could be made.

Breast to face.

Buck-naked Fridays in the family

room. Buck-naked Wednesdays.

Buck-naked Friday while the maid

cleans your living room.

Buck-naked. Buck-naked. Naked.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Perfectly natural.

Sometimes the bowels just release.

My mother is dead.

If she was here, she would probably

let me feed from her teat.

Get the mirror, Stan!

I will rip your throat out!

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Not tonight, okay?

Okay.

-And cut.

-Food in my hair.

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