The Bad News Bears Page #6

- I know, but it's okay.

I got the whole thing figured out.

This is what I do.

I take my two outfielders,

Henry and Thor...

I play them right and left center.

Would you stop it!

You're embarrassing yourself.

Three of my White Sox

have got the flu.

I got a goddamn little Jesus freak

in Bakersfield at a revival meeting.

I am sorry!

The White Sox are gonna have to

forfeit the game. It's a forfeit.

The White Sox have to forfeit.

Two, four, six, eight.

Who do we appreciate?

White Sox! White Sox!

- Can't this thing go any faster?

- Sure.

Would you look at that?

I can't help it.

I really hate that kid.

Out.

Out!

Out!

Sh*t!

He's out.

Stop it! Somebody's hurt!

- Ow. Right in the balls.

- Come on, give him some air.

Get back to the dugout. It's time.

He got hit in the balls.

Cleveland! Stretcher!

- A stretcher for his balls?

- That must hurt.

Buttermaker, do I have to go?

No. We're just going

to get you checked out.

I don't wanna go.

I wanna play.

We have to check you out first.

It's a sensitive area.

- I want to play.

- Don't worry. You'll play.

You better start worrying about

your team finishing in one piece...

instead of trying

to get in the play-offs.

I just pray

he's wearing his cup.

One, two, two, two,

three, two, four, two...

ready to go back.

One, two, two, two,

three, two, four, two...

and bow.

- Very good.

- Would you like a piece of chicken?

Would you turkeys

blow on out of here?

I will not allow this!

The White Sox beat the Mets!

- Gentlemen, please...

- We're talking championships.

Young man,

I am teaching a class here.

You ain't doin' a very good job.

No one here can dance for bat turds.

Tanner, get the hell out of here!

I will kill you!

Get out! Go!

I'm hitting.841.

I'm on the Bears.

You live around here?

I got a Harley-Davidson.

Does that turn you on...

Harley-Davidson?

I don't have to remind you who we'll

be playing in the championship...

after we beat these Athletics today.

I got one last question for you.

Let's see who can answer it.

What does this game mean

to the Athletics? Ahmad?

It means a hell of a lot

of badass news for the Athletics.

Let's go!

Kelly. Kelly.

I want you handling the ball

as much as possible out there today.

This game is

too damn important for us.

Any ball you get near, go for it.

Way to go!

And so, at the top

of the third inning...

the Bears are leading

one to nothing over the Athletics.

Hey, Tanner, does he go

to the bathroom for you too?

Hey! Tanner!

Now batting, Tom McKay,

number ten, third base.

- What you doing?

- Sorry.

We got nine men out here,

you know.

Yeah. Okay.

Going into the last half

of the sixth and last inning...

the score is tied two and two.

When I give you an order,

I expect you to follow it.

You're up first this inning.

Grab yourself a goddamn bat...

and let's get the run back.

And now batting for the Bears...

number three, Kelly Leak.

Strike!

Strike two!

That was a ball, you stupid ump!

Again?

0-2, and Stein is up next.

Time.

What's the matter with you?

What are you doing up there?

You trying to win this thing or not?

I'll put Miguel in.

At least he'll try.

Just get out of here

and let me hit...

Coach.

That's the way to go.

- Kelly!

- Congratulations.

Give me ten!

We have the final score.

Bears... three runs,

four hits, three errors.

Athletics...

two runs, five hits...

- See you tomorrow at the big game.

- Thank you.

I was really scared

for a minute there.

He's just a rotten ball hog.

Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow.

Does anybody

want to go for a ride?

Want to go for a ride, Timmy?

- Let's get your elbow in there.

- The water sure is cold.

Don't worry about it.

Will you listen to me

and forget the elbow?

- Got to hold down the swelling.

- It's not that bad.

- Buttermaker?

- All right. Shoot.

I invited my mom

to the game tomorrow.

You did? That's nice.

- It's the last game of the year.

- Fine, fine.

Got a big surprise

for you after too.

- We're all going to dinner.

- What?

After that, we're going to

the drive-in. It's a double feature.

Let's play it by ear,

see how things go tomorrow.

Please don't try to blow it.

She wasn't too keen on it at first.

I had to work hard to get it set up.

Yeah. I bet you did.

I don't think it's

a very good idea, Amanda.

No excuses, Boilermaker.

It's all fixed and I'm paying...

- so you can't cry poor.

- Yes, but listen...

Last Sunday I made a killing.

A guy wanted to wallpaper

his bathroom and bought 35 maps.

Amanda, you know damn well

your mother and I don't get along.

So we're not going to dinner or

a movie or anywhere else together.

Do you understand?

Just keep your elbow in the water.

- Then just you and I will go.

- Yeah, right.

You and I will take

the whole team out...

and get some hamburgers

or pizza or something.

I was just thinking us.

Just us, no outsiders.

Then maybe we could go

horseback riding or something...

or maybe to a matinee.

Yeah. We'll see.

How does it feel?

Why do you always

change the subject?

You're always pulling that number.

The subject is your arm.

You're pitching tomorrow.

But what about after tomorrow?

After tomorrow,

we do what all ballplayers do...

we shake hands

till we see each other next season.

Then we go fishing or hunting,

make some personal appearances...

get to know the wife and kids again.

I don't have a wife and kids.

Neither do I,

but I got my pools to clean.

You've got your maps to sell

and your ballet to learn.

I could help you

with your pools.

Will you cut it out, Amanda?

It wouldn't be like you're taking me

anywhere. It would be like work.

- You could use the help.

- No, I couldn't!

And besides, you shouldn't be

wasting your time cleaning pools.

Look, Amanda,

you're a terrific kid.

You shouldn't be

hanging around with me.

I'm an old, broken-down,

third-rate ballplayer.

I like to drink too much.

I like to smoke my cigars...

without anybody bothering me,

including you.

I'm happy that way.

I'm a bum.

No, you're not.

You taught me how to pitch.

Goddamn it! Can't you get it

through your thick head...

that I don't want your company?

If I did, I would have

looked you up two years ago.

I wouldn't have waited

two goddamn years.

Did you ever think of that?

If that's the way you feel, fine.

It's no big deal.

Hi, Amanda.

- Ogilvie.

- Hey, Kelly.

Hey, Ahmad. You, me and Tanner

will play three-way.

Does anybody mind

if I warm up too?

We didn't think you needed anybody

but yourself to play catch with.

Just cool it, runt.

- Who's a f*ggot?

- Your mother!

What the hell is going on here?

- What the hell's the matter?

- Kelly's a crud.

He's been hogging the ball in all

these games and we're sick of it.

He's not the only reason

we got this far.

- He's most of the reason.

- Just shut up!

Maybe if you guys

played a little better...

he wouldn't have to

cover for you all the time.

Look, woman, don't you be

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes