The Barefoot Executive Page #3

Nobody in this town, that's for sure.

- Oh, hi, Rog.

- Keep moving.

Mother Carey's Chickens

and The Maxwell Family?

Huh. Hmm.

- Look, aren't these cute?

- Yeah, they're real cute.

- Steve, show some interest.

- I said, they're real cute.

I think I'll get them all.

Why don't you guys beat it, huh?

We like the chimp, mister.

Now don't do that.

Come on.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,

for watching The Fastest Gun.

It is your loyal viewing

that has made our program

one of America's

top-rated shows.

What are you doing here?

I thought I'd spend a

little time with your roommate.

- Well, how'd you get in?

- The landlady.

- She's real nice.

- She sure is.

- Can you beat that?

- Beat what?

Oh, nothing.

- Hey, Jen?

- What?

I know we're gonna go out for supper

tonight, but let's just skip it.

Well, how come?

Why should we?

Well, there's some shows

I wanted to see tonight.

We'll call Chicken Lickin',

it'll be just as much fun, honest.

Why, that little son of a gun.

He picked them all!

7:
30 to 12:00.

Holy smoke, he knows!

Jen?

- He knows.

- Who knows?

Animals.

Just like in the westerns.

Nobody sees the rattlesnake because

he's hidden behind the sagebrush.

It's the horse who rears

and saves the cowboy's life.

- He knows!

- I hope so.

Oh, you're gonna thank

your lucky stars I came along.

You'll kiss the ground I walk on.

I will?

He knows. He knows!

If it happened once,

it might be an accident.

But he picks the number one show

every single night! He knows!

Hey. He knows.

- I'm gonna be rich.

- Well, that's just wonderful.

- Now may I see your driver's license?

- Sure.

Thank you. Okay.

You look just like

a friend of mine.

- Steve!

- For you!

Oh, Steve, they're beautiful!

But you really shouldn't

have spent the money.

Don't worry. There'll be a lot

more where that came from.

You know, it's a funny thing. Everything

seems to be going wrong for you.

One day you turn a corner

and your whole life changes.

All of a sudden you got the world

in your hip pocket.

- It's amazing, isn't it?

- Yeah.

Raffles?

Hey, uh, where is he, Jen?

- Oh, he's with Roger.

- Roger?

Yeah, they left

about ten minutes ago.

Why? What for?

Where'd he go?

They went for a walk.

He went for a walk with that creep?

I told you before,

he's not a creep!

How could you do this to me?

- Oh, hi, Rog.

- Hi. What are you doing here?

You were taking a walk.

I thought I'd join you.

You know, there is something

really weird going on here.

Uh, what?

I... I think that chimp

actually likes TV.

You've gotta be kidding.

No, he actually

seems to be entertained.

- Look, he really likes it.

- No, no. It's just the lights.

Certain light attracts certain animals.

That's a scientific fact.

I never heard that.

You didn't know that?

I thought everybody knew that.

I learned that

at Moonrise Night School.

On Melrose Avenue?

- What's the matter?

- I don't know.

I've never seen him act like this.

What did you do?

I didn't do anything to him.

Look, he's gone mad!

Well, you must've stepped

on his paw or something.

How could I step

on his paw from over here?

Good heav...

Uh, excuse me. Here, let me

help you. I'm terribly sorry.

Good. We got it.

Come on, fellow.

We're all through here.

Vicious little...

Keep that ape away from me.

- Come on. Over here.

- On the table.

Thank heaven you're here.

You can't believe what happened.

- We're not finished yet.

- Rog, don't worry about a thing.

We've got the bail.

We'll have you out in no time.

How could you let me be associated

with a beast like that? He's a monster.

He's not a monster. Something

just got into him, that's all.

Maybe he just doesn't

like basketball.

Oh, he doesn't?

I happen to like it very...

That thing's not a monster?

That's gonna cost you 75 bucks.

- For what? That?

- Come on, fella.

It's gonna cost at least 75 bucks

to get that thing fixed.

Okay. Who do I pay

to bail the chimp out?

- We take care of it right here.

- Wait a minute. What about me?

Gee, I'm sorry, Rog.

I'm out of money.

I gotta get some more. Don't worry.

You're bailing that chimp out and

letting me stay here in this dump?

Wait just a minute, mac.

This is a pretty nice place.

We happen to like it down here.

Well, you have to. I don't.

Steve, we aren't

gonna leave Roger here?

Gee, we've gotta be realistic

about this thing, Jen. I mean, uh...

It's Roger or the chimp,

and this is no place for a chimp.

Well, it's no place for me, either!

Wave goodbye

to Uncle Roger now.

Miserable chimp.

- Poor little guy.

- Poor little guy, my foot.

It's back to the Bernaduccis for him.

Oh, no, wait a minute.

You can't do that.

What are you getting excited about?

- I need him!

- You need him?

I mean,

I don't need him.

Why would you wanna give

a poor little guy like this away?

I mean, that's inhumane!

Inhumane?

He's the one that's inhumane.

He's already broken two TV sets

and a plate glass window.

Look, Jen, maybe he's trying

to get something out of his system.

Just give him a few days.

He'll be okay.

Okay, I'll give him till Saturday.

Good. By Saturday, he'll be

acting like a different chimp.

I guarantee it.

- I just can't understand it.

- Understand what?

Why he'd give me tickets

to take you to the ball game.

That's because you

don't understand Steve.

He has a lot of nice qualities

about him.

Like what?

Well, he's charitable.

He gave you tickets

to take me to the game.

Yeah, but I still think

there's some motive behind that.

And he's honest.

Nobody can say he's not honest.

And as far

as being trustworthy,

I don't know anyone

I would trust more than Steve.

And he's loyal and brave and...

Jen, will you forget it? You're

making him sound like a boy scout.

Come on, Raffles.

You have to believe me. I've got a

scientific approach to rating TV shows.

It'll revolutionize this whole industry.

We can put UBC right on top.

Jen, I'm going to be

very busy today.

Will you see to it that I am not

disturbed unless absolutely necessary?

I've got the key to this industry,

and he won't listen to me.

Steve, just leave

Mr. Wilbanks alone today.

Mr. Crampton's coming in

from New York,

and he's nervous as a kitten.

Wait a minute.

Crampton's coming in tomorrow?

That's perfect. Uh, look,

I won't be able to see you tonight.

I've got some homework

I want to do.

The programs of this station...

Okay, 12:
30 to 1:00, channel 18.

Okay, that does it.

You can go to bed now.

You've had a hard day's work.

And if this doesn't convince them,

I don't know what will.

"Dear Mr. Crampton.

As a loyal member of the United

Broadcasting Corporation,

I must tell you that I seem

to have a strange ability

which enables me

to pick the shows

the American people like best. "

Hey, Mertons, the old limo's

looking pretty slick.

It better.

I have to pick up the big man.

Yeah, I heard about that.

Hey, listen.

Would you mind

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