The Barefoot Executive Page #4

slipping this to Crampton?

Uh, no, I can't do that.

If the boss caught me passing your

notes to the chief...

Don't worry. I got something big.

It's our chance to put the network

on top. I can prove it to Crampton.

Our network on top?

Forget it.

Guess I was mistaken.

You're another one of those.

Wait a minute.

Another one of those what?

One of those who has something

against young people.

I never said that.

What's wrong with a young

man getting ahead, anyway?

I mean, didn't William Pitt

become prime minister of England at 24?

What about Alexander Hamilton?

He signed the Declaration

of Independence at 19.

Alexander the Great. How old

was he when he conquered Macedonia?

- I forget.

- And Louis XIV.

The greatest ruler France had. You know,

he became king at the age of four.

Four?

There was even a British king who

took over when he was nine months old.

I can go through history and show people

that became great leaders at early ages.

Huh. Yeah,

but what's that got to do with...

Here he comes. I know you'll find

the time to slip it to Mr. Crampton.

- Morning, Mr. Wilbanks.

- Morning.

- Have a nice trip.

- Have a nice trip?

I'm only going to the airport.

Well, have a nice trip

to the airport.

Something must be wrong, Wilbanks.

We're always third in the ratings.

Which would be all right, but

there are only three networks!

We come up with loser after

loser, disaster after disaster.

But chief, I've been through

47 pilot films this year...

Well, maybe it's your staff.

Have you got experienced people?

Well, experience is hard

to come by, chief.

All you've got available

to you are young kids,

running around, trying to tell

you how to run your business.

Speaking of kids telling you

how to run your business,

this is for you, Mr. Crampton.

Is that from Steven Post?

Why would you

bother the chief with that?

Isn't it bad enough

that I'm bothered by him?

He says he's got a foolproof method

of determining the top-rated programs.

Hmm. He's ambitious.

He's rated all

of last night's shows.

"Check with the overnight ratings.

You'll see I'm right. "

Don't pay any attention to that kid.

He'll drive you nuts. He's 21 years old,

and thinks he should run the network.

Well, I don't think age has

anything to do with it, boss.

- I didn't ask you!

- What's wrong with a young man

running the network?

Look at William Pitt.

He was only 24,

and he was president of England.

And Alexander the Great. How old was he

when he conquered Macedonia?

How would I know?

Just drive the car.

Look at all them little kids

that was kings of different countries.

Like this little kid

that was only four years old,

and he was king of France.

And there's one kid,

he was the king of England,

he was only nine months!

Nine months? A person became

king of England at nine months?

I don't remember anything about that.

You don't?

- Tell him to drive the car.

- Drive the car.

You rated every show

exactly like our rating service.

How'd you do that, young man?

I guess I just have an instinct

for what people like.

He's got an instinct for

getting people in trouble.

Just a minute.

- You can't listen to punks.

- Francis.

Francis!

I'm out here to replace

some shows that...

Well, they're not doing too well.

How would you like to look

at some new films with me?

- I'd be honored.

- That's carrying it too far.

I think I could do a lot better

if I took them home.

My powers of concentration

are stronger that way.

Never mind.

No film leaves this studio.

That's company policy.

He's right.

Just be in our viewing room at 6:00.

Francis, we'll see how good

the boy really is.

That looks good.

It's encouraging.

Yeah, I think

we're on the right track.

- What was that?

- What?

What was that?

One of our plumbers, sir.

He's a terrific little guy. Really.

Shortest plumber I've ever seen.

I hope you're paying minimum.

- I don't hire the plumbers.

- You coming?

- I'll be right up.

- Find out who hires plumbers.

Stan, don't use the mail elevator

for a couple of minutes.

- I got some important stuff on it.

- Sure, Steve.

Jen! Uh, hi.

What have you been up to?

I've been looking for you all day.

Oh, kind of in and out.

You know how it is. What's up?

Well, I wanted to talk to you.

I'm worried about my chimp.

He's calmed down like

you said, but maybe too much.

- Uh, uh, what do you mean?

- He doesn't seem to be himself.

He has no energy,

no spunk, nothing.

He's even stopped watching TV.

He probably got a hold of

bad bananas or something.

Bananas?

Would they bother a chimp?

Uh, sure. If he got a hold

of some bad ones, they would.

Hmm.

Steve, what's the matter with you?

You seem nervous.

Uh, I gotta go to that screening.

You know,

big shots and everything.

It's already started.

What are you standing here for?

Uh, I was just waiting

for some mail to come up.

Then you have

to push the button.

Yeah. I was just thinking

about doing that.

What is the matter with you?

You act like you're

trying to get rid of me.

Oh, Jen, you know

I'd never do a thing like that.

If you want a ride home,

you better come on.

Okay.

You know, Steve,

sometimes you act really weird.

I'll see you later, Jen.

Is that you, Post?

Uh, yes, sir. Sorry I'm late.

Yes. Well, we're showing a few scenes

from The Happy Harringtons first.

We're confident

it's our strongest replacement show.

But feel free

to have your own opinion.

Thank you, sir.

- What was that?

- I didn't say anything.

I get asthma

every once in a while.

You better have that checked.

That's the worst I've heard.

Post, if you don't like

the show, just say so!

Uh, I'm sorry, sir.

I, uh, I think I'll get

my asthma spray.

I keep it in the projection booth.

Why would he keep his

asthma spray in the projection booth?

- Well, he... I don't know.

- Oh, you don't know.

Can you ever answer anything

but "I don't know"?

- Stevie.

- Hi, Tom.

What do you got,

a replacement for Wilbanks?

No, he's a pet.

I'm watching him for a friend.

Hey, he's really great.

I gotta go back.

How about him watching from here?

- He won't be any problem.

- Sure.

I'm glad to have someone to talk to.

It gets lonely in here by yourself.

Now, don't let me down.

Thanks a lot, Tom.

Sure, Steve.

UBC proudly presents...

...Devil Dan!

Dumb kid. I told him to save

this for the last, chief.

I'm sorry about this. Save it!

I know it isn't much,

but we have to look at them all.

Don't save it!

Devil Dan?

Audience appeal?

- You've gotta be kidding.

- Not at all.

Devil Dan would start

this network to the top.

Yes, well, my boy,

I think we at the network

have our fingers

on the pulse of the public,

and it reads

Happy Harringtons to us.

But sir, people just won't buy that

stuff anymore. That show is a dog.

Well, yes, we do appreciate

your suggestion.

If we ever need you again,

we'll be sure and get in touch.

- Ruthless, bald audacity.

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