The Barefoot Executive Page #5

- That's what I'm trying to tell you.

That boy is blind to everything human...

Figure a way

to quietly get rid of him.

Oh, I can handle that.

I'm going east, I'll take care

of things there. Get hold of publicity.

The Happy Harringtons

are replacing Riot Squadron Saturday.

Tell them we want

a big splurge on it.

Right, chief. I'll take care

of it on this end. Right.

They just won't listen.

Nobody will listen.

They were nice enough

to ask you to see the film.

You gave them your opinion,

they didn't like it.

- You can't blame them.

- But they're wrong, Jen.

Well, how do you know

they're wrong?

I just know it. I really know it!

And I know of a way

to make them listen too.

Can I have your attention?

Your attention.

Thank you. I want you all

to make yourselves comfortable,

and I want you

to enjoy yourselves.

But I would suggest that you hold

your applause until after the show.

That way you won't miss

any of the jokes.

Ladies and gentlemen,

stay tuned for UBC's hilarious new show,

The Happy Harringtons!

UBC proudly presents...

...Devil Dan!

- Devil Dan?

- How did that happen?

What's going on here? In all my years,

I've never seen this happen.

It's those b*obs

in the transmitting room.

I'll get to the bottom of this

if I have to fire every one.

Get me a phone.

There's no sense

in calling anyone.

You see, I changed the program.

You?

Yes, sir. I know it may seem

a little upsetting right now,

but believe me, it's in the

best interest of the company.

Do you realize that you have

altered the will of a network?

And I, uh, I suppose

you want me to resign?

No. You're fired.

Mr. Wilbanks,

New York on the phone.

That's Crampton!

What am I going to tell Crampton?

- Steve.

- Hey, look, Jen, don't worry.

Everything's gonna be okay, really.

Big dummy.

You see?

That's what happens

when you have

a Moonrise Night School man

in the network business.

Why don't you shut up?

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Where are you going?

- I guess I'll get a hamburger.

Well, I'm kinda hungry too.

Look, Jen, maybe you'd

better go back inside.

I mean, uh,

I'm not really the most popular guy

in the world right now.

- You really want a hamburger?

- Uh-huh.

You look kinda funny

riding back there.

Who said I was afraid

of looking funny?

Holy mackerel!

Oh, good morning,

Mr. Wilbanks!

Oh, Mr. Wilbanks!

Say, that was really something.

A real touch of genius.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

Hey, that was terrific.

How'd you come up with something

like that? Congratulations.

I beg your pardon?

Very clever, Wilbanks.

Congratulations.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

- Just a minute.

- Can you tell me what all...

- Mr. Wilbanks, New York.

- Oh. Hello?

What time do you get to work? I've

spent half the day trying to reach you.

Oh, you see, there's a

three hour time difference,

and where it's 12:00 noon

in New York, out here it's only...

Don't tell me what time it is

in New York. Get him!

- Who?

- Who?

Haven't you read

the trade papers yet?

Trade papers? Uh...

- Wilbanks?

- Oh, no! How...

- Wilbanks, are you there?

- Uh, yes, I'm... I'm here.

Well, listen, sign him to a contract.

We don't want anyone

stealing him from us.

But, uh, chief, I fired him.

- You what?

- Well, don't you remember?

I told you on the phone,

and you told me...

Don't tell me what I told you.

I know what I told you.

Just get that boy back.

He's a genius!

Uh, I'll certainly

do my best, chief,

but I don't know whether...

Of course

you don't know whether.

I'll be out tomorrow.

Have that boy in your office at 1:00.

And have the press there.

From now on,

I'll manage this myself!

On behalf of the board of

directors of this network,

I take great pleasure

in the following announcement.

Steven Post has been made

our new program director.

- A boy that age, program director?

- What's the matter with a boy that age?

Look at William Pitt.

He was prime minister

of England when he was only 24.

And Alexander the Great? How old

was he when he conquered Macedonia?

No, we here at the network

are convinced that Steven Post

is a young man of unique talent,

well-qualified to join

the executive team

that will lead UBC

to the very top.

If the kid's going

to be program director,

what's going to happen to Wilbanks?

Oh, we haven't forgotten

Mr. Wilbanks. He's moved on too.

He'll be vice president

in charge of cultural relations.

- What's that?

- We'll let Wilbanks explain.

- What is it, Mr. Wilbanks?

- That's very...

You see, whenever we have the...

Uh, I don't know what it is.

Steve, it's so wonderful.

Huh? Yeah.

Yeah, well, uh...

Mr. Crampton thought

I ought to have a place

where I can kinda,

oh, entertain and stuff.

On account of my new job,

you know?

Oh, Steve,

I'm so happy for you.

You should be

so proud of yourself.

And just think,

you did it all on your own.

Yeah.

Hey!

Come on, sweetheart.

Thattaboy. Come on, baby.

Thattaboy. There you go.

Yeah, I love you too.

Watch the movie.

How about this one, Post?

- I don't know yet.

- He doesn't know yet.

No, he wants to run it.

- It's good.

- Oh, another winner.

Yeah, yeah, he likes it.

Yeah.

Congratulations, Steve.

Uh, on what?

On the award you're

gonna win tonight.

Hey, look, Jen,

I haven't won that yet.

Well, you will. If you're

not TV man of the year, who is?

Uh, Jen...

When are you gonna tell me

about those locks?

There? Uh...

I can't.

Well, you see,

it's kinda like my war room.

It's where I make all my decisions.

It's, uh...

It's very private.

Well, do I ever get to see?

Yeah, I'll show you sometime.

- Steve, what's the matter?

- Nothing.

- Uh, I was just thinking.

- About what?

Ah, it's a lot of stuff

you wouldn't understand.

I might.

Well, I was thinking

about people.

People like Vasco da Gama.

- Like who?

- Yeah, he was a discoverer.

- He discovered the West Indies.

- I know, but...

Isn't it just as good to

discover something as invent it?

- I guess.

- Where would we be

if people didn't discover things?

Just like some great scientist who...

Well, maybe he's not so great,

but he discovers a lab assistant

who's doing all the work.

But the scientist

takes all the credit. Why?

Because he discovered him.

Well, there's nothing

wrong with that, is there?

No, I guess not.

Good. That's the way

I had it figured.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

the most coveted prize of all:

TV's "Man of the Year" award.

And the winner is...

...Steven Post,

- Yeah! Yeah!

President of the

United Broadcasting Corporation.

President?

Vice president.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry.

I mean, vice president.

But at any rate,

Steven Post is television's

man of the year!

And now the key.

Congratulations, Crampton.

- Thank you. Thank you.

- You have a fine young man.

Thank you, Clifford.

We're proud of him.

You should be. Your sponsors seem

to like him. Gave him a nice little car.

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