The Baytown Outlaws Page #3

I took a job out here.

You took a job!

Well, excuse me.

What was I thinking? I forgot you guys

are freelance artists. So, Mr Brick,

- whatjob did you take?

- Look, it's not a big deal, man.

All right? It's just a little gig

out here. We can handle it.

You're going to handle it

like you handled me yesterday?

It's bad enough you can't

check a damn address,

but you also got to lay them

pork chops out in my backyard?

- Put it on our tab.

- What was that?

- Nothing!

- You watch your mouth, son.

This ain't a joke. This little misstep

is gonna be a pain for me,

but you may have just stuck

your dick in a hornet's nest.

What are you talking about?

What do you mean?

I've got some jackleg

ATF agent up my ass,

looking to make a name

for locking up you idiots.

The last thing I need is for you dumb

shits to draw more unneeded attention.

I mean it, Brick. I better not hear sh*t

about your little Texas job.

Keep your ass off the grid.

Don't call my house.

Write this number down.

And for the love of God,

get rid of that damn cell phone.

- Yes, sir.

- Damn well better.

You mess around and f*** up

my pension, that's your ass.

I don't even know you.

Hey!

Check it out, man!

Permian Stadium!

It's on the way, man!

You want to win, put bubba in!

It's not on the way, jackass.

It is, man! It's Odessa, Texas!

Huh?

Man! Don't take it out on me

because you got your ass chewed.

We got work to do, boys.

I'll get my badge.

No. I figured we'd do

the old Roosevelt slammer.

F***, yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Dibs, b*tch! Whoo!

Goddamn it, Montane! I didn't want you

to blow the place to hell and back.

I don't give a sh*t! Would you f***ing

listen to me every now and then?

Please? Goddamn it.

Come here, baby. Come here!

I don't know if your mama told you,

but you are hotter than sh*t.

Goddamn.

F***.

That's the sh*t right there, boys!

From now on,

no more nickel and diming!

You get it'? Only the finest!

- Hey, how come she's not naked'?

- Don't know, boss.

Find out.

Hey. I'll call you when I need you.

All right. Bye.

Doesn't anybody know how

to use finesse any more?

You all right'?

- The helmet ain't work for sh*t.

- I told you. Aah!

All right, you go east, I go west!

Plain and simple. Smash and grab.

Sh*t.

My bad, lady. You OK?

In my defence,

you do work for an a**hole.

You Rob?

Brick!

Goddang. Brick!

Goddamn it.

F***.

Sh*t.

Boss! Boss, are you all right?

What the f***

does it look like, Marty?

It looks like a f***ing bomb went off.

Denny?

- What the hell happened?

- The kid.

- Say what?

- Three guys come in.

Yes, I know three guys came in!

They came all the f***ing way in!

- I see that!

- They took the kid.

F***! Goddamn it!

They shot my motherfucking maid!

OK, Marty,

I know it's over a year ago,

but I need you to f***ing think, OK?

You did kill Celeste, right?

You wouldn't lie to me about that sh*t,

would you?

I put three bullets in her gut.

She looked dead to me.

But you didn't check to see

if she was dead, did you'?

Guess not.

That was our golden ticket,

you stinking f***!

How am I going to pay for this?

You got the dough?

L-lrn?

You got a f***ing piggy bank

in your fat ass?

Sorry, boss.

OK. As long as you're sorry, I guess

that's all that matters, isn't it?

I'll take care of it, boss. I'll make

sure it's right. I'll take care of it.

Good, good. Thanks, thanks.

Yeah. Hand me my goddamn pills,

will you?

You still want to go look at that car?

That Carlos man make you cripple'?

Hi, buddy.

I don't think he can talk.

- Well, ain't this some sh*t, man.

- What?

That he's all, you know...

- Don't do that sh*t!

- What?

'Cause you're being mean!

He can't help it.

You OK?

You hurt?

You OK? He can understand us.

How the hell did you get

"I'm OK" from that?

Hey, look, buddy. We ain't going

to hurt you, all right? Celeste sent us.

You know Celeste?

Huh?

Yeah! There he goes!

See? He understands us just fine.

Once again, how the hell do you

know what he's saying?

You the tard whisperer?

You say that again,

I'm gonna kill you.

- I'm not making fun. I'm just saying.

- Say it again. You are making fun.

- I'm not making fun. I'm just saying.

- You are making fun of him.

It's just a little weird that she didn't

mention the poor little fella's

- all buggered up, you know?

- It don't matter.

She sent us to get Rob.

We got Rob. All right?

You good, buddy'?

- I wasn't being mean.

- You were being mean!

You were making fun of him.

Bless his heart.

He ain't got no control over that.

It's a damn good thing

he wasn't in the living room.

I'm just saying.

Mm. Yeah, we can do that.

We can get that done.

All right, Carlos. I'm just

finishing up a little something here.

Then we'll get on the road.

Don't you worry about a thing, sweetie.

Excuse me, councilman.

What? He wanted a bath.

Another one already?

I didn't even get off.

- It's for Carlos.

- Well, that makes it a bit better.

Doesn't get much better

than this, Bill.

It'd be better than this if the fish

was biting as well as these chiggers.

You gotta be shitting me.

This is where the real police matters

are handled, huh?

You mean on private property'?

Yeah, sometimes it is.

Anthony Reese, ATF.

- Bill Hawkins. Nice to meet you.

- Bill's a representative for the state.

Nice to meet you, sir.

Bill, have you heard about an

investigation going on in our area?

No, I haven't.

It seems Agent Reese was sent

down here to check up on us.

Seeing as he's an Ivy League grad,

I guess that makes him

better at our jobs than we are.

Is he now?

No. I'm not trying to intrude,

only assist.

Sheriff, I feel

like we got off on the wrong foot.

We're on the same team.

I don't want it to feel like

I'm infringing on your territory.

I just...

I really think we have something

with these Oodies.

We don't talk business

when I'm fishing, son.

When I'm about to cast.

Don't get hooked!

We can, however, talk all

about it tomorrow at my office.

It don't excite me that some

Yankee's come down here

imposing his authority

on one of my best friends.

This county has the lowest crime rate

in the state, last time I checked.

- Huh.

- I know you Democrats

think we need your help,

but I'm here to tell you that we don't.

Bad enough I've gotta fight you in D.C.

Now you can just ease your way out

of here the same way you eased in.

I'd like to enjoy what's left

of my afternoon.

Alrighty, then.

Why don't you go back home

to that wife of yours?

It must be hard raising

a baby all by herself.

Yeah! Yeah!

- Pretty classy joint you've got here.

- Thanks. Nice shirt.

- You Lucky?

- That's right.

Let's see about that.

Hey, man, why don't you

turn that sh*t off back there for me?

That's Mac. He's 98 years old.

I think he's earned the right

to watch a little T and A if he wants.

Why? He ain't jerking nothing.

Yeah, well, he's been watching that

stuff since I opened the joint,

so I'm gonna keep it that way,

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