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The Benchwarmers Page #2
Strike!
Not so fast!
with your glove, not your face.
Yeah!
I don't need lip from you,
son of Satan.
- We're still in this thing.
- It's okay. Next time.
You're out!
You're out!
Strike three, you're out!
- Come on, Troy. Let's go, Troy.
- He can't hit you. Come on.
- Yes!
- Yeah, Gus! Are you okay?
It's over!
Three, you're out!
Sorry. Shoot.
Get another homer for us, Gus.
- Yeah, smack it in the butt.
- Whatever that means.
I'm gonna keep this one in play.
Give the infield a workout. It's 17-0.
What an idiot.
Come on, Troy, destroy him!
Strike him out. Strike this loser...
Come on, Kyle, are you okay?
- What happened?
- Get up.
- Hey, get him up.
- Kyle, you okay?
- Ball's still alive, chumps.
- Dude, he's gonna score.
Should somebody call 411?
He's fine.
He got the wind knocked out of him.
What's that noise?
- Get him! Get him!
- Get him!
I think he just got the wind
knocked back into him.
Gus, why didn't you play in
high school? You're incredible.
The whole bully thing, and jocks.
I didn't wanna deal with it.
Those butts! You could've gone
to the Super Bowl.
Yeah, that's the past.
- Hey, Richie, where's your brother?
- Howie! Come out, the guys are here.
Is he still dealing with agoraphobia?
Yeah, dude, he hasn't left the house
in six months.
There he is.
- Hey, Howie.
- How's it going, buddy?
Hey, guys.
against real people. It was classic.
All these punk teenagers are like,
"Get off our field."
We're like, "We'll play you for it."
And we did, and we beat them.
- I hit a foul, dude, it was sweet.
- It was awesome.
You gotta videotape it next time
so I can see.
- Buddy, just come with us.
- No. No.
It's not that scary. And you could use
Outside, bad. The sun, scary.
He's not my friend.
He wants to hurt me. Safe room.
- I know. Sun, bad. You, cuckoo.
- All right.
You know the best part about
winning a baseball game?
- What's that?
- Going to Pizza Hut to celebrate.
Richie?
Oh, yeah. Okay, buddy.
- Is that apple juice?
- No.
Honestly, you have
You could be a terrific ball player.
When you throw it to me,
and I catch it...
Not with my face, but with a glove.
- I like it.
I am starting to get the fever.
Dude, this chick is so hot.
What's going on?
Nothing. Just refilling the bar.
I love salad.
Yeah, it's...
...good and good for you.
I love salad.
That was some Barry White sh*t.
Very smooth.
Yeah, I work it when I have to.
- How's "Ms. Pac-Man" treating you?
- That red ghost is kicking my balls.
Yeah, that's them, Uncle Jerry.
Richie Goodman and Clark Reedy?
What were you losers doing
on my ball field today?
- Clark was. I was home.
- They were with me.
We were just hitting balls. These kids
showed up and we scrimmaged them.
That is priceless.
Clork the Dork and Richie Bitchy
playing baseball.
- Why is that so funny?
- Because they're retards.
They should stick to what they know:
Boogers and dingleberries.
You, stay away from my field...
...or I'll have my 12-year-old nephew
kick your ass.
Nice meeting you, Fairy Jerry.
- What was that?
- You gave them nicknames.
I thought I'd give you one.
Fairy Jerry.
- Oh, really?
- Really.
Okay, Gus.
Gus...
- Gus Bus.
- What?
That's you. Gus Bus.
Wow, that was a brutal comeback.
Let's go, guys. I don't think
I'll ever recover from that.
Man.
You stay off my field.
Stay away from the fairy dust, Jerry.
- "Gus Bus"?
- Shut up, Troy.
It was the coolest, Gus.
to Jerry like that.
I knew guys like that where I grew up.
They think they can do whatever.
I just wanted to say...
...that was great, the way
you put Jerry McDowell in his place.
That was no big deal.
Well, unfortunately for all of us...
...Jerry's in charge of
the baseball league for the county.
Hey. Are you the kid
that got farted on earlier?
Yes. This is my son Nelson.
He's become the fart magnet
for the neighborhood bullies.
I also get a healthy smear
When I was your age, Fairy Jerry
dumped a bucket of dog poop on me.
His son just did that to me
last week.
I tried to talk to Jerry. He just laughed
and gave me a titty twister.
Guys like that don't realize
the damage they're causing.
I couldn't agree more.
By the way, thanks for hitting
Kyle Wilson in the chest with the ball...
...then letting me rip one
right in his mouth earlier.
It was one of the best days
of my life.
This car is so radical.
Looks just like K.I.T.T.
From the show Knight Rider.
It is K.I.T.T. From Knight Rider.
Watch this.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm K.I. T. T.
Who are you?
I'm just one of those nerds
who grew up...
...to make billions.
Maybe I'll see you guys
around sometime.
It was a pleasure to meet you all.
Easy, Mel.
I have yet to perfect the peel-out.
- It was fine.
- No, no, no. That was cool.
- Yeah.
- Chicks were checking you out.
Try not to destroy me
completely, Mel.
Hey, honey, I'm home.
- Where have you been?
- I was with Clark and Richie.
I am on an ovulating schedule.
You were supposed to be here at 6:00.
I thought you meant
Central Mountain Time.
Did you mean
Pacific Standard Time?
- Because you're from Colorado.
Don't you ovulate
according to where you're born?
Gus, that's just weird.
So from now on,
Pacific Standard Time.
I'm all over that, baby. I love you.
Check out this mitt. It's all black.
I look like a Borack warrior
from the Captain Mighty series.
Well, get a load of Mega Mitt.
Hey! Hey! What the...?
Watch it!
Clark? Richie?
without underwear on your head.
Brad. You have really
not slimmed down.
Oh, eat me.
So I heard from Jerry you tools
think you're athletes now.
I didn't know "athlete"
had three syllables. "a-tha-lete."
That's "ama-za-zing."
You think you're hot sh*t
because you know words.
Why don't you be a stud
and point us toward the register.
Or "register-er."
Swing by if you she-men wanna lose.
You can't handle the truth!
- Bring it!
- Suck it!
Gus!
Gus!
He can't hear us.
Hey, fellas.
- You okay, Richie?
- Yeah, I'm fine. Just purple nuts.
We just had a run-in with one of our
old bullies at the sporting goods store.
- What happened?
- He said we're wussies...
...and he challenged us to a game.
- I don't know if you can leave work.
- Of course I can.
I'll mow this later.
Let's take this guy down.
Grab my arm.
Bobby, this one's coming for you.
Focus and give us a double play now.
Let's go!
Thattaway. Good job.
Looks like the Three Muske-queers
decided to show up.
Everybody, get your butts in here.
Time for us to scrimmage some losers.
Yeah, we got a "scrim-im-age."
Come on!
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"The Benchwarmers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 31 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_benchwarmers_3888>.
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