The Big Kahuna Page #6

I think it was someone else's.

Why on earth would he be wearing

somebody else's name tag, Bob?

Beats me. Looks like he had a couple

of drinks before he got here.

Maybe he swapped it. I got the impression

he wanted to be left alone.

-He was awful broken up about the dog.

-I do not f***in' believe this.

We had Dick Fuller right here within our grasp,

and we let him slip through our fingers!

-Sorry.

-It's not your fault, Bob.

We had him.

He was ours.

Next time you ask people's names,

whether they're wearing badges or not.

I'll give you a little piece of information.

There will be no next time.

We had Dick Fuller

within our sphere of influence,

and we let him walk out of here

without hearing from us...

a word of what

we had to say.

We'll be all right.

What did you guys

talk about, Bob?

Just... I don't know.

Stuff.

Could you be more specific?

Sports, weather, what?

Dogs mostly.

That's it?

Nothing else?

That and stuff about our families.

He asked about my wife.

-Your wife?

-Yeah.

-What did he want to know about your wife?

-Nothing. He just asked.

Did you tell him he could have her,

in consideration for throwing business our way?

Larry.

Well, what?

What did you talk about?

Just... I don't know.

Religion some.

You talked

to the president...

of one of the largest manufacturing firms

in the midwest about religion?

Is that who he is?

I didn't know.

Okay, wait, wait.

What did you say to him?

What exactly did you tell him

about religion?

We just talked.

-You didn't contradict him, did you?

-No.

Thank God. The first rule about

talking religion at a convention...

is "Do not contradict

the client."

I take that back.

That's the second rule.

-The first rule is "Don't."

-Don't what?

-Don't do it.

-Well, we seem to have survived.

-Did you contradict him?

-No.

Well, then that's why.

That's the reason you survived.

I thought it was a nice chat.

How did you end up talking about religion

with Dick Fuller in the first place?

It just came up

with the stories of his dogs dying.

-You told him his dogs were in heaven?

-No.

-You told him his dogs were in hell?

-Of course not.

Well, then what, Bob?

What exactly did you say to the man?

We started talking.

The thing about the dogs

was just a lead-in.

I mean, it got us talking

about life and death.

I-It was a lead-in, Bob?

Sure.

Which implies, does it not,

that you were...

looking for the opportunity

to talk about life and death?

Sure, l-I guess so.

Sure.

No, don't say sure. It's not like "sure."

How am I supposed to know?

I mean, most people don't go around

looking for opportunities...

to strike up conversations with total

strangers about life and death...

and religion

and things of that ilk.

-Some people do.

-Some people, yeah.

I guess there's some people,

and apparently you're one of them.

But most people, if you ask

about life and death,

they say, "Hey, life is good.

Death is bad. The end."

-They don't go looking for opportunities.

-I guess I'm not most people.

Bob, that's probably true.

I would say that's very safe to say.

I think it's important

to let people know what you believe.

Oh, Jesus Christ!

If I had known that you were supposed

to get in touch with the guy,

then I would have told you,

I would have alerted you somehow.

It's not your fault, Bob.

Phil!

How was he to know?

He was just talkin' to the guy.

Talking to the guy, yes.

But listening? I don't think so.

At least not for the opportunities

to advance the interests of the company.

Maybe if the conversation had stayed on

a more temporal plane,

then maybe it might have worked itself

around to the subject...

of where lubricants

might have been mentioned.

-You don't know that.

-Oh, come on.

The odds are a hell of a lot better,

but as it was,

the conversation was not allowed

to have a natural course...

because somebody was at the helm

directing it, right, Bob?

because somebody was at the helm

directing it, right, Bob?

-Sounds like the guy just wanted to be left alone.

-That is not the point.

Phil's right. He practically

came out and said it.

Well, guys, friends, compadres,

it was our task at hand...

to overcome that desire of his

for a little while,

to garner his interest,

and I submit to you

he did not want to be left alone.

If he had, he would have

stayed in his hotel room.

He would not have gone cruising the hospitality

suites in search of conversation.

I submit to you he did not wish to be

left alone, but only not to talk business.

-In which case we're out of luck anyway.

-Now, Phil, come on.

There's ways around that,

and you know it.

Not to badger the man but to let him

know what we came here to tell him.

-That's what I'm saying.

-I'm sorry.

Does no good to be sorry.

It doesn't do us any good now.

-What else can I do?

-There is nothing you can do now at this juncture!

Nothing.

-Did he happen to mention where he was staying?

-Somewhere in the hotel.

-This hotel?

-Yes.

What are you gonna do?

Bang on his door after midnight?

I'm just asking.

Is there a crime in that?

I'm thinking that maybe tomorrow morning

we could run into him...

in the coffee shop

downstairs accidentally.

-We don't know what he looks like.

-Bob does.

I'd be willing

to do that.

What's all this business

on the back of his card?

-That's where he was going after he left here.

-What, what, what?

Some kind of private party

at the hotel down the street.

-What are we doing here? Let's go!

-We can't.

-Why not?

-It's by invitation only.

-So?

-I think he'd get mad if we all showed up.

He made a big point

about how private it was.

That's the least of our worries.

If he gets mad, we'll deal with it.

Grab your coats.

-Not so fast, Larry.

-What?

I think Bob may be right.

We don't want to barge in on this guy.

-Phil!

-Think about it.

Do you really want to piss this guy off

by crashing some exclusive party,

not to mention whoever else

might be there?

You suggest we stand here while the account

of a lifetime slips through our fingers?

No, no.

Well, what then?

I think we send Bob.

What?

Look, he gave you that thing

as an invitation, right?

Yeah, he said

it would get me in.

Phil, Phil, Phil!

Don't do this to me, man.

What choice do we have?

That is our only

legitimate way in there.

Besides, he knows Bob.

They talked.

Bob's got an in.

You are putting our future

in the hands of a kid.

Nah, it's gonna be all right.

Give me your card.

-Oh, Jesus Christ.

-Give me your card.

All right.

Now, here's what I want you to do.

Sit down.

-Listen to me.

-I'm listening.

Here's what I

want you to do.

I want you to go down the street and

see if you can find Mr. Fuller.

If you're fortunate

and he is still there,

I want you to give him

our business cards.

Tell him that we

are very anxious...

to meet with him as soon

as it's humanly possible.

-You got that?

-As soon as humanly possible.

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