The Big Lebowski Page #30

DUDE:

This driveway.

AS HE TURNS:

WALTER:

I'm as Jewish as f***ing Tevye

DUDE:

It's just part of your whole sick

Cynthia thing. Taking care of her

f***ing dog. Going to her f***ing

synagogue. You're living in the

f***ing past.

WALTER:

Three thousand years of beautiful

tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax--

YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I LIVE IN THE

PAST! I--Jesus. What the hell

happened?

He is looking off as the car slows. The Dude looks where

Walter is looking.

THE LEBOWSKI MANSION

Walter's car pulls up the drive into the foreground and he

and the Dude get out.

Both are gaping off at the front lawn.

WALTER:

Jesus Christ.

THEIR POV:

Tire treads lead across the manicured front lawn to where a

little red sports car rests with its hood crumpled into a

palm trunk.

TRACKING DOWN THE GREAT HALLWAY

Through the French doors at its far end we can see Bunny,

naked, briefly bouncing on the diving board before splashing

into the illuminated pool outside. Heavy metal music filters

in from a boom box by the pool.

Brandt, approaching, stoops and straightens, stoops and

straightens, picking up the discarded clothes that run the

length of the hall.

BRANDT:

He can't see you, Dude.

We pull the Dude and Walter as they approach the doors to

the great study. Walter's dog follows, stiffly waving its

tail.

DUDE:

Where'd she been?

BRANDT:

Visiting friends of hers in Palm

Springs. Just picked up and left,

never bothered to tell us.

DUDE:

But I guess she told Dieter.

WALTER:

Jesus, Dude! He never even kidnapped

her.

BRANDT:

Who's this gentleman, Dude?

WALTER:

Who'm I? I'm a f***ing VETERAN!

BRANDT:

You shouldn't go in there, Dude!

He's very angry!

BANG--the Dude and Walter push through the double doors into--

THE GREAT ROOM:

The big Lebowski turns at the sound of the door. His

wheelchair hums as he spins it around.

LEBOWSKI:

(bitterly)

Well, she's back. No thanks to you.

DUDE:

Where's the money, Lebowski?

WALTER:

A MILLION BUCKS FROM F***ING NEEDY

LITTLE URBAN ACHIEVERS! YOU ARE

SCUM, MAN!

The dog yaps.

LEBOWSKI:

Who the hell is he?

WALTER:

I'll tell you who I am! I'm the guy

who's gonna KICK YOUR PHONY

GOLDBRICKING ASS!

DUDE:

We know the briefcase was empty,

man. We know you kept the million

bucks yourself.

LEBOWSKI:

Well, you have your story, I have

mine. I say I entrusted the money

to you, and you stole it.

WALTER:

AS IF WE WOULD EVER DREAM OF TAKING

YOUR BULLSHIT MONEY!

DUDE:

You thought Bunny'd been kidnapped

and you could use it as a pretext to

make some money disappear. All you

needed was a sap to pin it on, and

you'd just met me. You thought,

hey, a deadbeat, a loser, someone

the square community won't give a

sh*t about.

LEBOWSKI:

Well? Aren't you?

DUDE:

Well. . . yeah.

LEBOWSKI:

All right, get out. Both of you.

WALTER:

Look at that f***ing phony, Dude!

Pretending to be a f***ing

millionaire!

LEBOWSKI:

I said out. Now.

WALTER:

Let me tell you something else.

I've seen a lot of spinals, Dude,

and this guy is a fake. A f***ing

goldbricker.

He is crossing to Lebowski.

WALTER:

This guy f***ing walks. I've never

been more certain of anything in my

life!

LEBOWSKI:

Stay away from me, mister!

Walter reaches around from behind and hoists the big Lebowski

out of the wheelchair by his armpits.

WALTER:

Walk, you f***ing phony!

The big Lebowski waggles helplessly, his rubbery feet grazing

the floor like a Raggedy Ann's. The pomeranian gaily leaps

and yaps.

LEBOWSKI:

Put me down, you son of a b*tch!

DUDE:

Walter!

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