The Big Sick Page #6

- You're gonna be okay.

- Just relax and...

- Where are you taking me?

You should call her family.

Sorry.

Hey, Ms. Gardner, um,

this is Kumail, Emily's friend.

Uh, sorry to call you so late.

Um, Emily's... Emily's fine.

Just want to get that

taken care of. She's fine.

Um, she is at city view hospital

in Chicago

in a medically-induced coma,

but the doctors say that all...

Yes, I did say "coma."

Hey. I'm Kumail.

- We know who you are, Kumail.

- Mr. and Mrs. Gardner,

the doctors would like

to see you now.

I'll be right back.

Uh, listen,

the doctor will be here

any minute.

She's just running

a little late.

Don't read anything into

this being the bereavement room.

It's the only room

we had available.

- Okay. Thank you. Okay.

- Okay.

- Terry, Terry, I-i-i-i...

- It's...

- It's-it's driving me insane.

- Yes, I know, I know,

but it makes me feel better.

I just...

Hello. No. Please sit.

Please sit.

I'm Dr. Cunningham,

Emily's attending.

I'll be coordinating

all the doctors

and orchestrating

her treatment strategy.

All the doctors?

- How many are there?

- Five.

- Five? Why so many? I mean,

is that... is that normal? -Yes.

It's standard

for patients in the ICU.

We come at it from many angles,

we confer...

We're assessing her.

We immediately

initiated orotracheal

intubation. Thankfully,

- it hasn't affected her heart at this point.

- We don't know

but we got her on a broad

spectrum of antibiotics.

The exact nature

of the infection yet,

centering around

the costodiaphragmatic recess.

The right lung is battling

critical infection

Our theory

is methicillin-resistant

staphylococcus aureus.

- Staphyl... hold on. That's a "p"...

- Yeah.

- That's an "f" or a Ph"?

- Ph. No. It's staphylococcus...

That was very reassuring,

wasn't it?

Apparently, there are good

and bad comas,

and the kind

that they put her in...

The medically-induced coma...

Are definitely, like,

the good kind of coma.

Like... you know how

there are good and bad carbs?

Gremlins...

Those can be good or bad.

Listen, Kumail...

Uh...

We're gonna handle things

from here, okay?

You've been very helpful.

Thank you for...

For signing the thing, and...

Yeah, my pleasure.

But, uh, you can go now.

- Okay. Um...

- All right?

All right.

Peace in the Mideast.

What about this?

I saw a sniffer dog

at the airport.

He had a boner.

Does that mean drugs or bombs?

That's good. What if...

What if instead

of it being at the airport,

- you quit comedy, and never

do comedy ever again? -Yeah.

F*** you! It's a good

bit. That's a funny bit.

Just for the sake of the public

that they wouldn't have to

look at your face

or hear your words. That's...

Hey, it's okay

that I'm not there, right?

Like... I don't need

to be there, right?

What's up?

What happened?

- He put his girlfriend

in a coma. Yeah. -Yeah.

You know, the-the way you do.

- She's not my girlfriend.

- He didn't, but he signed

a paper that allowed doctors

to put...

He... he suggested it.

She's gonna be fine.

She's gonna be fine. They said

she's gonna be fine, so

- they're gonna be fine. Doctors

know medical stuff. -You...

Mm-hmm.

- That's what doctors do.

They're good at medical stuff.

This is a medically-induced

coma.

This is their specialty.

You know,

it might be a good thing.

Like, she might wake up

with a new skill.

Like, my cousin,

uh, blacked out once, and then,

when he came to, he thought

he knew a different language.

- Did he?

- No. Apparently, it was...

It was just gibberish

that he made up.

It was brain damage.

I got another taco bell one.

Did you forget something?

- Is she up yet?

- No, she's not.

And, uh, they won't

tell us anything.

We've been here all morning.

I know you guys said that

you don't need me to stay,

but I think I'm just gonna wait

anyway.

You guys broke up.

I'm not sure why you're here.

You-you don't have to worry

about being committed

to anything, Kumail.

You didn't want to

when she was awake.

There's no need to do it

when she's unconscious.

- It's more complicated than that.

- Is it?

'Cause I know

about the two-day rule.

I know about the head shots

and the secrets.

She tells us everything.

You really don't have to stay,

Kumail.

- You have already done...

- A lot.

I'm just gonna stay

for a second.

Is this seat...? Okay.

Is... is that lady

still looking at me?

Oh. Hey.

Mr. Cuevas,

please see Dr. Toscado.

Mr. Cuevas,

please see Dr. Toscado.

Yeah.

Yeah, come on.

There's no reason, uh...

Should eat there by yourself,

right, hon?

It's a free country.

How's your sandwich?

Best f***ing sandwich

I ever had.

Mine's good.

Tuna's always a gamble, but,

you know,

we're not by the water.

Well, we are by the water.

But it's a lake.

There's no tuna in the lake.

Whatever.

I-I threw the dice.

I got the...

Sevens, I guess.

Whatever... whatever

the good dice number is.

So, uh...

9/11.

No, I mean...

I've always wanted to have

a conversation with... about it.

With... people.

You've never talked to people

about 9/11?

No, what's your...

What's your stance?

What's my stance on 9/11?

Oh, um...

Anti. It was a tragedy.

I mean,

we lost 19 of our best guys.

Huh?

That was a joke. Obviously.

9/11 was a terrible tragedy,

and it's not funny

to joke about it.

Mr. and Mrs. Gardner,

please report to the ICU.

Mr. and Mrs. Gardner,

- all right. Come on.

- To the ICU. Thank you.

Hey, can I come?

- No.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

Whatever.

Hello, come in.

Please, have a seat.

I know this isn't the news

you were hoping for,

but we aren't ready to bring

Emily out of the coma yet.

Oh.

Why? Uh, what happened?

The antibiotics aren't doing

what we'd hoped they would,

and we don't want

to mess around,

so tomorrow morning,

we're gonna perform surgery

to remove the infection.

Dr. Spellman told us

that the antibiotics would work.

- Oh,

wait one second. -Oh.

- Yeah. -I mean, he didn't say

anything at all about surgery.

So what... what does that mean?

Surgery? What kind of surgery?

It's called thoracentesis.

It's a very common procedure.

We're gonna go in between the

ribs and remove the infection.

How do you spell that, please?

And what is it? What's the name?

What's the last part?

- Thora...

- And the infection I-is...

- On the lung.

- "Thora" what? "Thora" what?

- What is it?

- And we're going to remove it.

Thoracentesis. C-e-n-t-e-s-i-s.

- And what's the risk?

- It's a common thing

- that they do?

- Low. Yes.

My advice to you

is that you go home,

you get something to eat

and try to relax.

She left the lights on, huh?

My favorite sweater.

I'm gonna do some research.

Oh, hey.

- Huh, that's the book I gave her.

- No,

I gave her that one. Hey,

do you have that little notebook

from the doctor's?

- This is the book I gave her.

- Uh...

I'm just gonna clean up

Emily's room real quick.

No, I-i remember.

I met her at the Falafel place,

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