The Big Street Page #6

not a pig market.

- You run?

- Sure, I run.

How do you think you got your job?

Stop it.

Come on.

- Somebody stop it.

- Stop it.

- How is she, doc?

- You can go in.

Hello, Your Highness.

Hello.

Remember that song?

Sure. You used to have the people

in the aisles.

I'm singing it for the last time, Pinks.

Oh, no, you're not.

- You know what I'm thinking?

- What?

I'm thinking

I'm in a swell supper club.

It's all gold and marble...

...and servants all dressed up

in satin pants...

...and Decatur Reed is there too...

...and a lot of classy people.

- And I walk in.

- You'd knock them dead.

I got on a dress, see?

It's white net and very long...

...and all over,

there are little diamonds that shine.

And it's very tight in the bodice.

My shoulders are all bare.

And I got my hair up like this.

When I walk in, I make all the dames

look like last year's model.

And all the guys would give a year's salary

just to dance with me.

And I give them the go by

like I'm a duchess.

And I'm holding an orchid in my hand.

A white orchid.

There's no orchid, Pinks.

No orchid.

I'll bring you dozens of them.

Dozens of them.

No, you wouldn't.

There's no anything, Pinks.

I'm nothing but a broken-down

komoppo in an old wheelchair.

Waiting.

Just waiting.

I talked to the doc.

He says you're gonna be

well real soon.

Don't give me that, Pinks.

I know.

I guess I've known from the start.

She's in bad shape, doc.

Can't you do something?

- I wish I could.

- Why can't you?

Did you ever hear

of a thing called paranoia?

No, I guess you didn't.

It happens when people get to believe

they're something they're not.

Now you're cooking with gas.

- Shut up, Nicely.

- Don't tell me to shut up.

I'll tell you to shut up any time

I feel like it, and I feel like it now.

Please go on, doc.

They can go on for a long time and be okay,

except when the illusion is shattered.

Then they kind of wither up and:

- Unless it's restored.

- But if it is?

I'm afraid what that young lady wants,

she'll never get.

We can't just stand around

and let her die.

He ain't a very good doctor, Pinks.

Why, last month he treated Nicely

for a cold...

...and it turned out to be chicken pox.

You don't have to be telling everybody

I had chicken pox at my age.

If you had chicken pox, you had them,

and you had them.

Big jewel robbery. Read all about it.

Extra paper.

Another big jewel robbery.

Read about it. Extra paper.

Read all about

the big jewel robbery. Extra.

- Wait, I wanna talk to you.

- Lou, I told you to keep away from me.

Be a nice girl, come on back for a drink.

I only wanna make you a little proposition.

Extra paper. Big jewel robbery.

Extra. Read all about it.

- Hi, Pinks.

- What do you say, Pinks?

Hello.

- Well, hello, Pinks.

- Hello, Pinks.

Hello, Professor. Hello, Horsethief.

- Hello, Gentleman George.

- Good evening, Pinks.

No see since New York.

Squat and munch on a sparerib.

No, thanks.

- I want you to do a job for me.

- In the heisting line?

Yeah. I just want a dress,

but there's jewelry you can have.

You are living in the past, Pinks.

I have retired from the heist.

No percentage.

But there's people doing it all the time.

It's in the papers.

Syndicates, who engage

in the unethical practice...

...of clipping the insurance companies.

That is not cricket.

But this is a cinch.

I've looked the place over.

It's out of the question.

The middleman gets everything these days,

and the laborer nothing for his hire.

Good evening. A sparerib?

- No, thanks.

- No, thank you.

I was just telling our little friend...

...that I regretfully must refuse

to knock off a joint for him.

Then I'll do it myself.

Please, Pinks, you can't start

at the top with these things.

At least begin with a little pocket-picking

or such odd jobs.

Personally, I find I can make

a very honest living cheating at cards.

I just gotta get that dress.

It's a matter of life and death.

This is to go no further, but me

and the Professor is somewhat broke.

No, you've done enough...

...but I've just started.

Horsethief.

When a man has that look in his eye,

he's liable to clop you good.

I wish I could've obliged.

It would've been kind of nice

to do another job.

Sometimes I get mighty Ionely

for the good old days.

But that's another thing we got

to thank the New Deal for.

What's the idea of following me?

I told you to get out, you termite.

Do you listen nice or do I tell your husband

you think he's a checkbook with the gout?

You haven't got anything on me.

A paper napkin with

"I love you, Lou" written in lipstick.

A platinum watch engraved

"To Ducky from Wucky."

But nobody would believe

I was Wucky.

How about the jeweler?

He's a very good friend of mine.

What do you want?

Two, five, comma, 0, 0, 0, point, 0, 0.

You know all the cash I get

is two bucks a week for gum.

You're heeled in the ice department.

- So it's my jewelry you want?

- Only temporary.

You're well insured. Hand them over.

Say they were stole.

My syndicate recovers them,

gives them back to the insurance company...

...we get a reward, you get your jewelry.

- Why, that's dishonest.

But very popular these days, my darling.

Such a deal was consummated

only last night.

You read, of course,

that Mrs. Laird got cleaned good?

Yeah.

One of our boys did that.

A French count. Very good man.

I don't believe you.

- We got fine references.

- For instance?

Case Ables good enough for you?

Don't tell me Case Ables

is in on this.

Sister, he invented it.

How do I know you're telling the truth?

Supposing I showed you a little proof.

Mrs. Laird's ruby clips.

- Recognize them?

- Why, yes.

The colonel was going

to buy them for me.

Speaking of the colonel...

...do we have a deal?

- Reach.

- What is this?

Any more talk and I'll plug you.

Hand over those clips.

Put them in your handkerchief.

Those fingerprints will come in handy.

Both of you stick here for 10 minutes.

Don't forget I got enough to hang you.

- What is this, a frame-up?

- Ha can't do that to me.

He don't belong to the guild.

And that's final. If you local detectives

can't do anything, I'll call the FBI.

Don't get excited. We're working on it.

We've got a clue.

- Why don't you do something?

- The number on the card is indistinct.

We're in touch with the social security

people in Washington.

Yeah.

Yeah? Well, get on it right away.

- Thank you. That was Washington.

- Well?

It's gonna take time to trace.

Oh, and because they got red tape,

my wife's got to go around naked.

Get me J. Edgar Hoover.

Oh, they're calling in J. Edgar Hoover?

Well, good. We need some

law enforcement in this community.

Okay, Bill. Thanks.

They're calling in the G-men.

That'll teach whoever it is

not to compete with Case Ables.

Will it?

What do you want?

I thought you might be interested in this.

Where'd you get that?

- That's the guy. I recognize his voice.

- Not so fast.

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