The Big Year Page #3

Dear God.

Probably could have used

another cup of coffee.

I think I broke my arm.

Shut up.

In birding terms,

what Bostick and Fuchs saw that day

was nothing short of a miracle.

Unbelievable.

This is the rarest bird I've ever seen.

It's like we were meant to crash here.

We were.

They had survived a near-fatal crash,

only to stumble upon

a great spotted woodpecker.

Do you realize how rare that is?

Statistically, in the Pacific Northwest,

they had a greater chance

of seeing a unicorn.

All of a sudden your arm

doesn't feel so broke, does it?

You could chop my arm off.

How's the conference?

How bad could it be?

It's Paris. How's it going there?

Glorious! Dawn just broke.

Tamaulipas crows'll be here any minute.

I'm happy for you.

But I wish you were here.

You're just jealous.

Mmm. Green.

What was that?

I'm renovating.

Again? I thought we just got done

redoing the whole house.

Uh-huh.

But not the upstairs and the kitchen.

Whoa, the kitchen?

I thought we had an agreement that

we were gonna wait on doing the kitchen.

I thought you agreed to wait

to do another Big Year.

Jess, I've told you,

the birds wait for no man.

And neither do I.

So I had to hire Frank Falucci,

seeing as you're so busy.

You hired my competitor?

That's gonna drag on forever.

No, 'cause I said to Frank

that I'd give him a bonus

if he was done by April.

A bonus?

All right, but, jeez, babe, please,

you've got to keep an eye on this.

You cannot trust contractors.

I'm well aware, honey.

Okay, so is it old man Frank

in charge of the job,

or is it his kind of good-looking son

who's doing it?

He's not that good-looking.

Where are you, anyway?

I'm in Wyoming. I got to bag a sage grouse.

- Is it beautiful there?

- No.

It's hot and dusty. It's a real dump.

Ketchup potato chip?

Ketchup potato chip?

- Ketchup potato chip?

- No, thank you.

You want a ketchup potato chip?

No?

This is what happens to retirees, Stu.

They lose their minds.

Hey, look, everybody! Vultures!

You have to handle

the negotiations yourselves.

I told you, I'm done.

The company is your baby, sir,

and it's in trouble.

Yeah, and your baby's

wandered into the street.

- And there are cars coming.

- Your baby needs you, Stu.

Save your baby!

You guys are pathetic.

- Two days. Two.

- That's all we're asking.

- Just till the deal's closed.

- And you'll never hear from us again.

Two days. Then I'm done.

- You got it.

- Two days in New York

- and then you migrate.

- Migrate!

See, you're not the only one

with a sense of humor.

Yes, I am.

Falucci.

Long time no see, Bostick.

You remember my kid Frank Jr.

It's a beautiful place you got here, sir.

Yeah, it was.

All right, Falucci, I'm gonna be going over

your time sheets like a hawk,

so you might want to

ease up on the snack breaks.

Your wife wasn't exaggerating.

Everything with you is birds, Bostick!

Yeah, it is.

Jess?

Jess?

No. No! What the...

Jess?

- Hello, stranger. This is a rare sighting.

- Hi.

Yeah. What have you done to our house?

- Do you like it so far?

- So far?

Please don't tell me there's more to come!

This is crazy!

Are you trying to get my attention?

It worked.

Is that the point of all this?

I don't know. I don't know, Kenny.

What is the point?

I'm surprised to still see

this room standing,

that you didn't take

a sledgehammer to this.

I'm supposed to put

my life on hold for a year?

Like a pathetic golf widow?

You're not a golf widow.

You can't compare golf to this.

Golf's just like a hobby.

And the birding is what exactly?

I don't know, it's like a calling.

This is like my calling.

Like Gandhi?

No, come on.

I'm not comparing myself to Gandhi, okay?

That's ridiculous. Okay?

It's more like I'm Mozart, I guess.

Okay, fine. You got a calling.

I got a calling, too.

- It's known as a baby.

- Yeah.

I know. I like to think that that's like

another one of my callings, too.

And you're gonna have to contribute,

you realize, eventually.

- I realize.

- In person.

Yes. In person.

I wouldn't want it any other way.

Really? 'Cause I ain't so sure, Wolfgang.

Maybe I can convince you.

I didn't mean now.

Come on. What's the matter with now?

'Cause we have a house full of men.

Just pretend they're not there.

Okay, pretend that we don't care

that they're there.

I'm pretending.

...throughout much of the Southwest,

spreading all the way into

the Pacific Northwest.

Now, for those of you in the Southeast,

Texas will be experiencing

high winds this morning,

as this storm moves very quickly south

into the Gulf of Mexico.

If you're planning to be

anywhere in the Gulf today,

better batten down the hatches.

We are talking about a storm

that may last for 72 hours.

Look at these waves, these winds,

- and strong storms.

- Fallout.

- We are talking hurricane-force winds.

- Kenny.

I know this is bad. I know this makes me

look like a world-class a**hole,

- but, babe, I gotta go.

- Kenny! Kenny!

Kenny!

I'll call you!

Bill? Don't say no. I'm going to Texas.

I'm getting on a plane right now.

Texas? You just got back.

Bill! There is going to be

major fallout in a few hours.

- Nuclear fallout?

- Bird fallout.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about a major storm

hitting the Gulf of Mexico

in the middle of migration season.

I'm talking about headwinds

and downpours

and a hundred thousand birds

literally dropping from the sky!

I'll put it down as a sick day.

- Stu.

- Hey.

- Where you going?

- Texas.

Texas? Now? What about Mclntire?

How do we explain this?

Act of God.

Act of God? No! That's not gonna work!

Stop this car! Stop this car!

Those damn birds!

Stu arrived on the outskirts of Houston

feeling liberated after skipping out on

his meeting in New York.

I really believe I can win this thing.

Bostick, not surprisingly,

was supremely confident.

Yes! Yes!

I really think I've got this thing locked up.

And I got to admit, I was feeling

that luck was on my side for a change.

I'm starting to think I have a chance.

I had done the math.

I knew what spring fallout meant.

A world record was within my grasp.

Whoa!

Unbelievable.

Oh, my God.

Faced with that headwind,

they have to come down

at the first land they see,

and that's right here.

One thing's for sure,

today's happening is strictly

for the birds. Gretchen.

Come on, guys, get... Keep it moving!

Come on, we got a lot of birds to see.

Bloody ass. Only Americans can

turn birding into a competition!

That's right.

You don't want to miss this one!

What?

- Brad!

- Stu!

I knew you'd be here. I was looking for you.

- Me, too.

- This is incredible, isn't it?

I know. Where do we even start?

There's the best birder in the world.

Maybe we should...

Follow him.

Prothonotary warbler.

Gotcha.

Oh! Blue grosbeak.

It's a buffet.

So I play what the kids wanna hear

While I spange on Broadway

Shine, let it shine

Even if it burns your eyes

This light of mine is mine

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