The Big Year Page #5

breaks their necks and eats them.

Yeesh!

We'll assume the cost of

retrofitting the plants,

but that still leaves

the non-compete clause.

Barry says you have an issue with it.

No. It's not a big issue,

but I'm not like you, Stu.

I'm not ready to hang it all up so I can

spend the rest of my life bird watching.

It's called "birding," Rick.

And there's no wiggle room here.

This is a deal-breaker for us.

Wait, what? Wait, wait, wait.

Four hours ago, you said

that everything was negotiable.

What, was this just so you could

lure me in to finish me off?

The shrike.

It's 11:
15.

I should have left for the airport

All right. Stu!

Just wait, one second, please. One second.

Let me talk to my people.

Just give me five minutes. Okay?

Okay, Stu, 48 months and you got a deal.

They'll shake.

The Lexington side!

Okay, I'm coming out now!

Are you there?

Come up! Pull up in front!

There's taxis there. Flash your lights!

Go! Go, go, go, go!

Kenny? This is Karen, my blushing bride.

Attu's gonna be our honeymoon.

Wow!

Okay, now, Karen,

you're not a birder, are you?

No. No, I'm just along for the ride.

Honeymoon on Attu.

That should be unforgettable.

Yeah.

Attu? What were you thinking?

Come on, let's go!

What are we waiting for?

The charter's sold out,

but two guys haven't shown up yet.

I'm here!

Okay, sorry. Sorry I'm late.

Sorry. Sorry I'm late.

Okay.

Nice of you to join us.

You're Stu's little sidekick, aren't you?

Oh, yeah, me and Stu are like that.

I know all his secrets.

Yeah? Cookie?

Yeah, thanks.

All his secrets.

Apparently, he's doing a Big Year. Oops.

He probably wouldn't

want you to know that.

What's his total?

By now? Over 500.

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Gives him a shot at your record, doesn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, that...

He's a pretty spry old guy.

He's definitely got a shot at my record.

Of course, he probably would have had

a better shot if he had made this flight.

Oh, God.

- What's your total?

- Hmm?

What's your total?

- I'm not doing a Big Year.

- No?

Mmm-mmm.

Another cookie?

No, one's my limit.

The pilot says this is a Siberian storm?

Attu Island, meet El Nio.

Makes for great birding.

Oh, my God!

Nice job up there in the cockpit!

Way to go, guys! Attu!

Bostick!

Welcome, birders, to Attu.

Welcome, birders, to Attu.

Let's take this spot. Go right in here.

In here.

Okay. Yeah.

I'll take the top.

Yeah.

Welcome to the honeymoon suite!

Unforgettable.

Wally, how are you?

Hey, Bostick.

That old Attu air.

How you doing, Dolores?

Mrs. Suzuki.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Here they are.

Now I'm in Attu.

Prime real estate.

Okay.

I've only been here a week,

and my life list is already at 578.

- You want to see?

- Are you serious?

- Yeah.

- I'd love to.

- That is the American...

- That's so beautiful.

Yeah, golden plover.

You guys have the same eyes.

Rustic bunting.

- Excuse me.

- Massacre Valley.

Rustic bunting.

- Coming through.

- Hurry!

- Massacre Valley, come on!

- Let's go, let's go!

- Just follow us!

- The south side trail.

Kenny! Rustic bunting!

Really? I'll catch up to you.

Go back!

Go back, you guys!

The bunting flew back toward Casco Cove!

The other way!

The rustic bunting is up there!

Bunting's gone up the hill!

Turn around, turn around!

The bunting flew down the hill! Go back!

- What?

- Go back!

No, the bunting flew down the hill!

Gladys, we finally found the bunting.

It's at Murder Point.

Bostick had adopted a technique

perfected by devious birds like the skua.

He let others do the grunt work,

then seized the spoils.

There's an eyebrowed thrush back here.

- There it is!

- Where?

Oh, hey, everybody.

Bostick.

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing

Roman cavalry choirs are singing

Be my mirror, my sword and shield

My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain

I know Saint Peter won't call my name

Never an honest word

But that was when I ruled the world

Jason, just so our viewers

can take precautions here,

how severe is this storm going to be?

In one word, it's going to be intense.

We're expecting a tremendous

amount of snow.

It'll be tough out there for man or beast.

But you were telling me a moment ago,

there are at least a few people

happy about this Siberian storm, right?

I can tell you that the birders

over at Attu are going to love it.

So far they've spotted such rarities

as a pin-tailed snipe

and an Oriental greenfinch.

Snipe and greenfinch.

And these are birds that nobody's seen

in North America for how long?

- Ten, 20, 30 years?

- Thirty years at least. If ever.

And I'm happy if I can spot a pigeon.

Hey, Brad!

I made it!

Boy, oh, boy,

are you a sore for sight eyes, huh?

I was just headed out.

I wanted to tell you,

but Bostick has a way of getting

information out of people.

Yeah, I guess he's not the only one.

I didn't get it out of you, Brad.

You offered it to me.

Oh, come on! You bought me drinks

and got what you wanted!

That's not why I asked you to dinner.

I told you about my wife.

My fear of retirement.

You think I'd discuss that stuff

with just anybody?

Nope. Just the people you think

are doing a Big Year.

Brad, listen.

You were ready to talk about your Big Year.

I wasn't ready to talk about mine.

That's all it was.

Have you checked your messages lately?

Up here?

What, are you kidding me?

I left a full confession five days ago.

I felt bad.

Really?

I'm sorry.

Okay.

I guess I have a confession to make, too.

You told Bostick, didn't you?

Yes. Sorry.

Oh, well.

Is it true this was the greatest week

in Attu history?

Yeah. But the birds are still here.

Unless there's a freak blizzard,

you'll still get to see them.

Sorry about the freak blizzard.

I shouldn't have said there's gonna be

a freak blizzard.

That jinxed it.

No, that's the thing.

We couldn't figure it out.

What's a bird who only eats mosquitoes

doing in Wisconsin in February?

Then we found it. On the porch.

Bug zapper, with a 12-month supply

of freeze-dried mosquitoes in its tray.

That little sucker was in heaven.

How about the most tropical bird

you've seen this year?

Western spindalis, Key West.

Hardest to find.

Rufous-capped warbler.

Perched on a toilet brush

in a cabin near El Paso.

I almost wish I didn't see that one.

One that got away.

That's easy. Snowy owl.

I just can't seem to nail that sucker!

I've been out six times this year

and I still haven't gotten one.

Six trips to see one bird.

That sounds an awful lot

like a man doing a Big Year.

It takes one to know one, right, Stu?

Cheers. Of course, then again,

maybe I just love to bird.

- What do you got?

- Bald eagle.

Big deal! We all got one five months ago.

It's got a lady friend.

Of all courtship rituals

in the animal kingdom,

the most spectacular by far

is that of the bald eagle.

The male and female climb

to dizzying heights

and then...

...join in free fall,

plummeting toward earth,

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