The Bigfoot Project Page #3

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that says he doesn't exist.

There's no scientific fact

that says he does exist.

Okay, well, there's

no scientific fact

that says he doesn't exist.

He has a job?

Well, yeah, he works over

in George Cardel Dodge.

Okay, I think you're thinking

of an inflatable balloon.

No, he's got that... you know,

he stands out in front.

He's got this sign tells you

how much cars are.

- He waves to people that go by.

- That's an inflatable balloon.

You seen him, he goes like this,

- if you see a fella doing this,

it's probably Bigfoot. -Okay.

Are you guys filming

around here?

Doing stuff?

Going around town?

Yup, we're shooting

a documentary.

Don't go to Joe's groceries.

- Why?

- He's a dick.

Oh, so you heard him?

What did he sound like?

You know what?

He sound like a...

He sound like a...

Like a...

Oh, so like a wolf.

Okay, well, I happen to think

that there is a Bigfoot.

Well, there isn't.

Keep dreaming.

There ain't nothin' around here

except nothin'.

- You don't know. So there's...

- no.

There's a possibility

in that head.

Well, yeah.

Well, yeah, there's gorillas.

There's all kinds of animals.

No, man, it's not like a wolf.

I mean, it was more like a...

Like a...

Oh! Like a growl.

- Oh.

- Like a...

Like a...

So, like a bear.

If we wanted to find Bigfoot,

where would you suggest we go?

Oh, you gotta go talk

to Willie ray.

Yeah.

I don't believe

in everything I see.

You believe

in loch ness monster?

I do.

Rumor has it Bigfoot

smells like a wet dog.

Have you ever experienced

a wet dog smell?

- Yeah, there's wet

dogs around here. -Oh.

They smell like wet dogs.

You ever heard, um, like a...

- like a cat in heat get real scared?

- Never.

Like a, um...

Like a... like a...

So, junior, what you're saying

is it was a cat?

Come on, it's okay, buddy,

it was a cat.

If you need any help

with any of the filming here,

I'd be, you know, absolutely...

Oh, are you a filmmaker?

- No.

- Oh.

- If you ever actually see Bigfoot...

- Yeah?

- Please, just give us a call.

- Again, you mean?

- Was it a cat? It was a cat?

- Well, uh...

- Well, it probably was a cat.

- Yeah, see, it was a cat.

Thank you so much, junior.

It was a cat.

Thank you for your time.

- Nice to meet you, Rambo.

Hey, Steve, I was thinking,

since moose got a turn,

can I try?

I don't know, Mickey, I don't think

that would be such a good idea.

And action!

Sir...

- How tall are you?

- Cut.

I get so nervous.

So, we are now on our way

to Willie Ray's house.

Willie Ray's been mentioned by a couple

of the locals a few times already,

so we definitely

had to go talk to him.

Apparently he's had a few

run-ins with the alleged beast.

Any information he can give us

will be very helpful

in the on-going search

for the mystic monster.

Mystic monster!

Man, you just gave me

goosebumps!

Yeah, and if my directions

are correct,

we should be there

fairly shortly.

- Stop!

- No!

- Stop the car, Jamie!

- No, what?

- Shh. Quiet!

- Of course.

What is it?

Of course.

Maybe he has to go

to the bathroom or something,

Oh, scared me.

Am I bleeding?

I don't know. No.

Just looks crooked.

No, it doesn't.

I think that's how

it normally looks.

I don't see anything over there.

Steve, what is it?

I saw him.

- Ah, here we go.

- -Moose, did you see him?

- Yeah, I did, didn't you?

- -No.

That leprechaun

that was riding that unicorn,

- he was right next to it.

- Shut up, moose.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I mean, I mean

I think I saw him.

It was just over there.

You guys didn't see anything?

- No.

- No.

Okay, so you're not sure?

No.

Hey, Steve, none of us saw

a goddamn thing.

So get in the car, and let's go!

Yeah.

All right, here we are.

This is scary.

Don't sing the "nightmare

on elm street" song.

Okay, shh.

All right, everybody got their stuff?

Yeah.

Oh, my god,

it's Jeffrey Dahmer's house.

- Great Steve.

- -It's not Jeffrey Dahmer's house.

Okay, well, maybe

it's Ted Bundy's.

Okay, let's just go.

Or the BTK killer.

Ooh, maybe the night stalker.

- Moose, stop it!

- Lower your voice.

Lower your face.

All right, guys,

let's all stay professional.

What the hell do you want?

Uh, hi, Mr. ray.

Yeah, that's Willie ray.

Willie ray, right.

Uh, I'm Steve.

Or captain Steve.

You don't have to call me that.

Just Steve would be fine.

This is Jamie, and Mickey...

Just state

your goddamn business.

Okay. Many of the

locals have said

that you've encountered

Bigfoot several times

and we're a documentary crew,

hence the cameras.

We were just wondering

if we could have

some information

on Bigfoot for our film.

I think you oughta

take your cameras and leave.

Okay, we'll do that.

It's just if there's any information

you have about Bigfoot, then...

Get outta here right now.

Let's just go, Steve.

Okay, okay, yeah, we're gonna go.

Thank you.

I'm kidding ya!

I kidding ya! I kidding ya!

He lives about two miles

west of here.

- What?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Wow.

- Oh, god.

- I got you! I got you! -I think I

might need a new pair of pants.

- I'm serious.

- -Oh, my god, it smells like sh*t.

That was good.

- That was good. -So you actually

have information on Bigfoot?

Yeah, that old so and so,

son of a b*tch owes me 20 bucks.

He what?

Oh, no, he's gonna pay,

and all that.

Don't go putting anything

negative in your movie about him,

like he don't pay

his bills or nothin'.

He does, he will.

Look, come on in

and we'll talk about it.

Yeah, hey, we'll get your friend

a new pair of pants.

Somebody go caca caca poo poo.

That would be great.

- Ah-ha!

- Okay.

All right! Come on in!

Yeah, we're gonna have

some fun tonight

I got my specialty

cooking for dinner.

- Oh, yeah!

- Great.

All right. Sit down.

Take it easy.

I'll do this.

Okay, Jamie, why don't you put

your camera where moose is.

I have a feeling

this is gonna be really good.

I have a feeling

I'm gonna be sick.

Uh, what's your guys'

favorite way to die?

Don't say that.

- All better?

- Feel like a grand piano.

All right, it's looking fine in there.

Looking fine.

I'm making plenty

of food, folks,

so y'all have

to stay for dinner.

Well, that's awfully

nice of you.

We'll consider it.

Thank you.

Oh, good. I'm glad.

Okay, so we're gonna ask you a

couple questions about Bigfoot,

and all we ask is that you

are open and honest.

Any stories or details you have

would be greatly appreciated.

- Is that okay with you?

- Oh, yeah.

That's more than okay.

- Go ahead, shoot.

- All right.

- My friend.

- Everybody ready?

Speeding.

- All systems go.

- Looks good.

Great. So, Willie ray,

many of the locals

we've talked to

have said that you have had

several encounters with Bigfoot,

- is that true? -Yeah, he comes

around here from time to time.

Wait, here?

Yeah, here, sure.

Wow, okay.

Let me ask you this.

If we were to go

searching for Bigfoot,

do you think

that there's a good chance

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