The Bigfoot Project Page #6

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I mean, what do you think?

I think we have a duty

as gentlemen to...

Doodie, right?

Oh, yeah, of course.

Really? That's exactly

what I was gonna say.

We have a... we have

an obligation.

- Obligation.

- That's not as funny.

As professionals to keep this

on the level, okay?

- There is a lady in our midst. Where are you going?

- Good point.

Moose, ugh, god.

- Do you like what you see?

- Get away from me.

Your loss.

- Oh, man. -Dude, I don't

even feel like I should go.

Get out there, dude,

get out there. Go.

- You guys didn't plan this very well, did you?

- -No.

Hey, Jamie, apparently

there's this rabid bear

running through the woods

just killing people.

They found a kid's

head and guts,

and basically, honestly,

I wouldn't hold it against you

if you wanna sleep

in my sleeping bag.

- No.

- Okay.

- What are you reading?

- Go away, you little sh*t.

Mm, yeah, got ya, heard you.

- Oh, that was painful, dude.

- Yeah, man.

That's gonna be

a tough nut to crack, huh?

- Well, she can crack my nuts.

- He's so good at this.

Yeah, that's wonderful.

I'm going to sleep, guys.

I think you should do the same.

Get some rest. We're gonna have a

long day ahead of us tomorrow.

Day three

is officially complete.

Our first official day

in the search for Bigfoot

is in the books.

I look forward to tomorrow.

I'm captain Steve signing off.

- Stay tuned.

- -Quit calling yourself captain Steve.

All right.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

Oh, you made breakfast!

- Yup. Bacon and eggs.

- Nice.

- Hey, Steve, Jamie made breakfast.

- Yeah, I know.

She's amazing.

I didn't buy bacon and eggs.

Uh, you didn't. I did.

All you bought

were Twinkies and ice pops.

That's for drinking water now.

Whatever, just eat

your breakfast.

- I think I'm in love.

- What?

Uh, you... you fit

like a glove.

- Egg me.

- You know we have plates.

Oh, I don't need to be fancy.

- Is this Turkey bacon?

- Yes.

Wild audio recordings day four.

Location 82.24 degrees

latitude,

34.16 degrees

longitude.

Time is approximately...

2:
39 pm eastern standard time.

Temperature is 74 degrees

Fahrenheit.

There's a current breeze

of two to three inches moving...

That is a lot

of information, Steve.

That is a lot of information.

I was just thinking that

as I was saying the Wes...

What was that?

Shh. What was that?

Did you guys hear that?

I think I farted, Steve.

Yeah, yeah, you did.

Let's move out!

Get away from the smell.

Hey, Jamie.

- Hey, Jamie!

- What, moose?

Do you have a boyfriend?

- Wow, uh, no, I do not.

- Really? That's cool, man.

Hey, how about you and me

go behind that tree over there

- and we bang? -How about

you go kill yourself?

Oh-ho. How about we go behind

that tree, we bang,

- and then I kill myself?

- Yeah, I'll think about it.

Nice. Progress.

- Moose! I got wood.

- So do I.

- All right, the campsite

looks pretty good for now.

We'll move west tomorrow.

Hey, let's have

some drinks tonight.

- Yeah!

- I don't know, guys.

- I don't think that's

such a good idea. -Yeah.

I could really use a drink. I think

you could too, there, captain.

Come on, Stevesy.

Steve, Steve.

Steve! Steve! Steve!

All right, all right, all right,

let's have some beers.

Whoo!

- You forgot all of it?

- Everything.

It's probably for the best.

- I'm going hunting.

- Sweet.

- All right, but be back

before it gets dark. -No.

And take the b cam in case

you come across anything.

Yeah, like beer.

Oh, burn! Wow!

Jamie, you wanna go

look over this map again?

Sure.

I'm telling you, moose,

it was right over there.

I didn't see a thing.

Why can't I get

this thing to focus?

We need to get our money back.

You do not know

how to use a camera.

Yeah, I do.

Look at this.

- Zoom.

- Why are you saying zoom?

Oh, my god! It's right there!

Did you not see that?

No, I didn't.

I'm going back to camp.

Wait for me.

- Ah, damn it!

- Do you smell something?

- No!

- -Nothing out of the ordinary.

- Kinda.

- Yes!

- You smell something, don't you?

- Ah...

Tell me what it is, Mickey.

- Ah...

- Tell me!

Pizza?

You smell pizza?

Yeah, kinda, but with pepperoni.

How do you smell pizza out here

in the middle of the woods?

I...

He smells pizza.

I thought I smelled

pizza, Jamie.

I know you did.

Oh, and Willie Ray's stew,

as well.

It's still in your mustache.

I'll be damned,

it's still in my mustache.

Hey, Steve, false alarm!

It was my mustache

the whole time, bud.

So the brother

comes back to life.

- He comes back?

- Yeah, he's back?

- I thought he was dead.

- Yeah, no, he's not.

- He's a cyborg.

- No way.

I mean, this stuff

just comes to me.

And then it's off in the future,

and, like, they're after

the security guard,

but they realize

he's not a security guard,

- he's just from the future.

- Don't go all Hollywood on us.

Hey, what if I end up being,

like,

your adopted brother in it?

And then what happens is...

Okay, whenever

you're ready, Steve.

Day 10, the hunt continues.

- Though I think we've been close...

- stop it!

- It was moose.

- God, you creeps.

- Are we finished?

- Jesus.

- Action!

- No, Mickey.

- See, that's either Jamie...

- And action!

Day 10, the hunt continues.

Though I think we've been close,

we have yet to produce

any kind of evidence,

so we continue to march on.

Now nobody said

this was going to be easy,

but we still have one week left.

We're constantly surrounded

by odd smells and sounds

that could very easily belong

to the elusive creature.

We've covered

about five square miles,

and unfortunately, thus far,

the findings have been scarce.

We don't have any findings.

My relentless team and I

will continue this pursuit

until its end.

We will not rest until

our mission is complete.

For moose, Jamie, and Mickey,

I'm captain Steve signing off.

Stay tuned.

And cut.

- We'll just have your cousin cut there.

- Yeah, he's good.

- All right, check the gate!

- God, my ear.

It's not your job.

Whoa, wow, okay,

that's a... that's a toughie.

Um, what is that? Right?

Uh... I think

Shakespeare put it best,

when he said that love,

called by any other name,

- is still a rose.

- Yeah, that's...

That's definitely not right.

Yeah, it's something like that.

- No, not at all.

- I've never read it.

What about you, moose?

You ever been in love?

Thank you for asking.

Yeah, yeah, once, huh.

Oh, man, I remember

the first time

I sat next to her on the bus.

I knew I was in love.

Oh, we were together

all the time, me and her.

She was that kinda girl that

just understood me, you know?

My gosh, that's so sweet?

What happened?

Well, we got older, and she

went and did her own thing

and I went my own way,

played college football,

and I was in the army

for a little while.

- The army?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Oh, god, really?

- Yeah.

A lot of stuff went down there.

But not a day went by...

That I didn't think about her.

It made me live.

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