The Boatniks Page #2

- Hi.

- Hello.

- These are some little friends.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- [woman] Come join the party.

- Thanks, but l can't right now.

Oh, but you must.

lt's in your honor.

- ln my honor?

- lt started a couple of days ago

as a going away party

for Lieutenant Jordan,

but we thought we'd keep it going

as a welcoming party for you.

That's very nice,

but l still haven't reported yet.

[Jason] You'd better hurry back.

Your party ends at 6:00.

Then we start our salute

to the Lusitania.

[all] Bye.

Gangway.

[woman screams]

[Garland] Did l do that?

l'm terribly sorry.

You see, l was getting

out of the way.

My duffle bag must have hit

the can of paint, and, uh...

Well, l'm terribly sorry.

So am l.

l never looked good in yellow.

That's not helping.

- ls there anything...?

- No.

- Could l at least...?

- No!

- Well, not even...?

- No! Just leave.

Yes, l am late, but...

Where can l find Commander Taylor?

He's aboard the Point Maley.

We've been expecting you.

l'm Seaman Wagner.

- Let me take your gear, sir.

- Wagner, thank you.

[Jordan] lt'll last for several months,

but will have to be replaced.

You'd better write up

a requisition, then.

Ensign Tom Garland

reporting for duty.

- l'm glad to have you with us, Garland.

- Thank you, sir.

This is Lieutenant Jordan.

You're relieving him as skipper.

- Welcome aboard.

- Thank you.

Jordan'll stay until you're familiar

with your boat and crew.

Coming from

a seafaring family, as you do,

that shouldn't take

more than a day or two.

l served with your father, Garland.

- Really, sir?

- lf you're half the man Tommy was,

- we're proud to have you with us.

- Thank you, sir.

Why don't you let Jordan show you

the boat, then find a place to live,

and if it's early enough,

come back here.

We'll have a real,

old-fashioned bull session.

Bull session? Yes, sir.

Mr. Garland,

this is bosun's mate Walsh.

- He'll be your exec.

- Welcome aboard.

Walsh, l'm really looking forward

to this command.

Oh, you're gonna

love it here, Tom.

Great duty.

Just look at that beautiful bay.

[Garland] What are they all doing?

Enjoying themselves, Tom.

Just enjoying themselves.

Well, folks, what do you say we start

at the bow and work our way aft?

Yes, sir.

Follow me, sir.

Up here we have our firefighting gear,

at least the bulk of it.

We have one unit, self-contained,

another midships works

off the boat's pumps.

Now, these, with what we have aft,

we can handle any emergency.

- Down here we have another unit...

- Whoa!

Garland!

- Go get the life ring.

- Yes, sir.

[Taylor] Mr. Garland.

There is no swimming allowed

around the Coast Guard dock.

Yes, sir.

l'll try to remember that, sir.

[Harry] You guys almost finished?

About half-way, Harry.

Just got to scoop out a couple loaves

of bread and some more pickles.

What do l do next?

Take that pickle, put a couple

of diamond rings in it.

All right,

what's taking you guys so long?

Charlie got hungry,

so he had to have a snack.

He had a chicken and a pickle

and a couple of ankle bracelets.

Wow, that's a terrific outfit, Harry.

Commodore, do you mind?

From now on,

l'm Commodore Simmons,

member of every

exclusive Eastern Yachting Club,

champion blue water sailor

and personal friend of

the late Sir Thomas Lipton.

Where did l put that book

on sailing for beginners?

- Over there on the table.

- Ah.

l still say it's a crazy idea to

try to sail to Mexico.

Crazy idea, huh?

They got roadblocks to the south,

roadblocks to the north

and cops watching

every airport east.

That leaves us two ways to go:

Straight up or west.

But why a sailboat?

Why not a motorboat?

Much too obvious.

That's what they would expect.

What could be more innocent

than three gentlemen

- cruising to Acapulco?

- But you never sailed before.

There's no problem,

as long as we take this book.

l think you should

take the Bible.

- Max, l'm warning you!

- Why take a chance on the wind?

- We got the...

- You never sailed before.

lt won't take us

past the breakwater.

The book will ta...

You realize, of course,

l can charge you both with mutiny?

ln a motel room?

Walsh?

Who is that girl?

Kate Fairchild? She runs

the boat rental and sailing school.

She thinks that life is salt water,

fresh air and clean living.

Fortunately, there aren't too many

of those weirdoes around.

There aren't many that attractive.

l guess she's attractive,

in a girl-next-door sort of way.

- Oh, but check that action.

- Where?

- There.

- Oh!

[chattering]

They make lousy neighbors,

but they're sure a lot of laughs.

Looks like Jason's

been to the Purple Pussycat

and shanghaied a whole new crew.

- Should be an interesting cruise.

- Cruise?

Jason's boat never

leaves the dock.

- Why not?

- For one thing, it's got no motor.

- You're kidding.

- Took it out and put in a wine cellar.

[Garlotti] Mr. Garland?

- [Garland] Yes?

- We got a call from RCC,

- an emergency dispatch.

- Emergency? Start the engines.

Crank up the radar.

Get Lieutenant Jordan.

- Walsh, stand by.

- l am standing by.

Good, we want to shove off

as soon as Jordan comes aboard.

Prepare soup for the survivors.

Seaman, give me a hand

with this tarpaulin.

- What's the emergency?

- A rowboat stuck on the rocks.

What a shame. A guy like that

deserves the Titanic.

Look busy.

Here are the sails, Stanley.

Remember, this time when you hoist

the mainsail, get it to the top.

Ahoy there, skipper.

Well, hello.

Can l help you with something?

- Yes, we're going on a picnic...

- There's a picnic hamper.

Yes, and we'd like

to rent a sailboat.

Something suitable

for a cruise, like, to, uh... Catalina?

- l thought you said we were going...

- He's so anxious.

Well, l'm, uh... Excuse me.

l've got this 28-foot ketch.

Would that be all right?

My father the sea dog

always used to say to me,

as we were standing on

his brigantine, he'd say, ''Son,

if you must rent a boat,

make sure it's a ketch.''

Have you got something

a little smaller?

- See, l haven't done much sailing.

- Bilge water.

The man's a regular jack-tar.

lt's a thrill to see him at the fantail,

a sturdy hand on the spinnaker.

That's a neat trick.

You see, the spinnaker's forward.

Ah! ls she quick!

l was just testing you, ma'am.

l wouldn't want to rent from a girl who

didn't know a spinnaker from a fantail.

Ha! She's quick, right?

l like the cut of your jib, ma'am.

Come on, Kate,

before we lose the wind.

Yeah, l'll be right there.

Uh, l have a sailing lesson.

Could you put up the sails?

Could Magellan find the Horn?

Well, then, l'll see you later.

Smooth getaway.

- She knows.

- Oh, shut up.

[Kate] Bye.

All right, come on.

Start putting up the sails.

- That's your job, Magellan.

- l'm warning you. Come on.

We got work to do.

Charlie, come on.

Folks, we'd like you to

stay where you are.

Don't move.

We're sending a boat to pick you up

in just a few minutes.

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