The Boatniks Page #3

You see, Florence? l told you

the Coast Guard would come and get us.

Lieutenant, RCC called.

Boat capsized, sinking. We gotta move.

- Come on, let's go. Hey!

- Garland!

We just got a call from RCC.

Boat capsized, sinking.

You can handle this

without us, can't you?

We'll pick you up

on the way back.

l don't know why l ever let you

talk us into buying a boat.

[stammering] l'm sick of the boat.

l'm sick of fishing.

l'm sick of the whole Pacific Ocean.

You know what l'm sick of?

[Garland] Ahoy, there. Don't worry.

We'll get you off the rocks.

l'll throw you this line

and l'll give you a tow.

[yelling]

And next you snap the head

of the sail to the halyard.

- What's a halyard?

- What you snap the head of the sail to.

Now, look alive, swabbies,

or we'll never get to Mexico.

We'll try again.

l'll secure it.

You've done nothing right

since we started.

- After all, l was a Girl Scout. Okay.

- Oh!

- Oh.

- [laughing]

Terrific. Terrific.

- lt fell in our prop, sir.

- Oh, no.

- Give me a knife.

- Sir, we're drifting.

l know, just give me a knife.

- And the tide's going out.

- l know. Give me a knife.

Hey. [shouting] Hey!

- Slow down!

- Slow down!

They didn't slow down.

[yelling] Whoa!

[Harry] Somebody hoist the jib.

[screaming] Harry!

[Harry] l said hoist the jib,

not Charlie.

[Charlie] Harry, do something.

Max, help!

- [Harry] You'll be all right.

- [Charlie] Save me! Save me!

[Charlie] Stop the boat!

Harry, do something!

Easy, Charlie, easy. Up.

- Max is coming up to help you.

- [Charlie] Max, please hurry.

- [Harry] Hold on, Charlie.

- [Charlie] l'm coming.

[Charlie] Hurry up. Get me

down out of here. Get me down!

[Max] Wait a minute,

wait a minute.

[Charlie] Harry, the book, Harry.

Read the book.

[screaming]

[Max] Harry!

Steady the boat, Harry!

[Charlie] Harry, Harry?

- [Max] Whoa, whoa!

- Come down. Come down.

[Max and Charlie] Whoa!

[Charlie] Max, do something!

[Max] Harry, l'm gonna drown.

l can't swim, Harry.

- Thanks, Max.

- Don't mention it.

Harry? What does

the book say, Harry?

Harry!

Harry!

- [groaning]

- Right of way, right of way!

Harry!

[horn blaring]

Oh, Harry.

Hey, look over there

in the rocks.

Looks like one of those boats

from the Coast Guard.

[Kate] lt's that new ensign.

What a shame.

Why don't we tack over there?

Look out, let's come about.

[Kate] Ahoy, there.

- Need any help?

- No. This is just a drill.

What kind of drill?

Running aground

on the rocks drill.

Throw us a line

and we'll give you a tow.

- Don't bother.

- Oh, it's no bother.

As a matter of fact, l insist.

Charlie!

- Trim the mainsail.

- Do what?

- Untie the rope.

- Oh.

Not that one.

Harry! Harry!

- Where are you, Harry?

- [Max] How do you like sailing, Harry?

- [Harry] l'm warning you, Max.

- Let me in there.

- Now look what you've done.

- l never trimmed no mainsail before.

- l told you which rope.

- You told me and l pulled.

- The wrong rope!

- [crashing]

- What's that?

- l think we hit something.

- There's water in here. Let's get out.

- Water, where?

Don't panic.

Prepare to abandon ship.

Follow your captain.

[man] Buenas tardes, seores.

Harry, look. You did it.

You got us to Mexico.

Mexico?

Look, dumb-dumb.

[man] Welcome to

Tacos Muchos, seores.

- l wish when you get to headquarters...

- [horn blaring]

- ... that you...

- [many horns honking]

[Florence] Shame we don't live in

San Francisco. They could tow us.

They'll see to it. Ha!

[horns continue beeping]

Rescued by a girl in a sailboat?

- What kind of an image is that?

- Sir...

l'll tell you what kind of

an image it is, it's a lousy image.

The toughest assignment

on the West Coast.

Balboa's a seagoing freeway.

With all the rescuing we do here,

the rescue we don't need

- is rescuing the rescue boat.

- Yes, sir.

Tomorrow Mr. Jordan leaves

and the Point Maley is yours.

- My advice to you is shape up.

- Shape up.

- Yes, sir.

- Dismissed.

Garland?

lf your father handled

a boat like you do,

- we'd all be speaking Japanese.

- Japanese.

[noisy chattering]

- Are you alone?

- Yeah, l am.

Um, why don't you

give me five minutes, okay?

You just wait over here.

Right this way, please.

Oh, Clemens.

Party of four,

l'll be with you in just one minute.

[hostess] Dr. Clemens?

Your table's right over there.

Oh, l'll have a table for you

in just a few minutes, sir.

Uh...

Have you bumped into anybody

or spilled drinks yet?

- No.

- Oh.

But the evening's still young.

Right over there.

l'll be right with you.

Your table will be ready

in just a minute, Mr. Garland.

Thank you.

And thank you, Miss Fairchild,

for coming to my rescue this afternoon.

- lt was nothing.

- You're too modest.

My commanding officer

was very impressed.

l was just doing my duty.

Law of the sea, you know.

The law of the sea says you're

supposed to wipe out an entire career?

Let's not get uptight, Mr. Garland.

Remember me,

''Sadie, the Painted Lady''?

l apologized for that.

What else do you want me to do?

Find a way to get the smell

of turpentine out of my hair.

That was an accident.

l didn't ask for

that kind of introduction.

All right. Why don't we

just make a deal, then?

You stay out of my life,

l stay out of your career.

- lt's a deal.

- Deal.

Hey, l didn't know you were friends.

Why don't you share a table?

lt'd be a lot quicker.

[Kate] Uh...

- All right.

- Good.

But separate checks.

You can't be serious.

No other explanation.

The fates are against me.

l'm jinxed.

You know when l was born?

- When?

- December 7th,

1 941 , at the Naval Hospital

in Pearl Harbor.

- That doesn't prove anything.

- l took my training in Miami.

You know how many

hurricanes we had? Twelve.

- That's not unusual for Florida.

- ln one week?

We got hit by Adele through Lisa.

Mona followed me to Kansas.

What about you? The first time l met

you, l soaked you with a can of paint.

That has nothing to do with fate.

- You're just clumsy.

- Oh.

- You know what l think your problem is?

- What?

l think you try too hard

to live up to your father's reputation.

Well, maybe l...

Enough of my exciting life.

- What about you?

- Me?

Oh, mine's the same old dull story.

Mother a go-go dancer,

father a cat burglar.

As you might expect, the Fairchilds

are a staid old New England family.

Mother spearheads committees to keep

picnickers away from Plymouth Rock.

My father turns out lights

when anybody leaves the room.

- You decided to kick the Establishment?

- No, nothing so dramatic.

l just went to school out here,

decided to stay on.

A wise decision. l wouldn't

have wanted to go through life

without running into you,

if you'll excuse the expression.

lt has been fun.

As a matter of fact,

it's really been so pleasant.

Why don't we forget about

the separate checks? You pay mine.

- l knew you wouldn't hold a grudge.

- lt's my Yankee blood.

Well, what do you think?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes