The Book of Love Page #2

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Pretty easy.

Oh.

Thank you.

Oh, and, mister,

sneakers are the sh*t.

Let's go.

Uhh!

All right.

Pick a film, any old film.

Any one I want?

Any one you want.

Which one sparks your desire?

Well, I want the top one.

This one?

I want the top one.

You know which one you want.

Wait a minute.

What is this?

This is Kung fu Tuesday.

Heh. Is that a thing?

It is now.

I don't have a say

in this, do I?

No, you don't have a say.

All right.

Mm.

Okay. Ready?

Yeah.

Hi-yah.

Oh. So, it's

a whole theme?

Uh-huh, every Tuesday

from here on until forever.

Ffects include sleeplessness.

Today's contestants

are Amy Osborn straight

from L.A., California,

Dave Van Hoester,

who comes from the Midwest,

and Jamie Kristofferson,

coming to us from n...

My pa always said

the sea was a lonely place

when you're way out there

and there ain't another soul

for weeks around,

that you can feel the loneliness

like a weight around your heart.

I think he meant

that we ain't supposed

to be alone on our journeys,

that we need them other people

to know we're alive,

that we matter.

Good morning, Wendell.

Good morning.

Jesus.

Henry.

Hey, hey.

Good morning.

Henry, there's

an old Japanese proverb.

The wounded koi

cannot tend to its gills

if it seeks solace and diversion

of the pleasant seaweed god.

Do you have any idea

what... what that means?

Am I the koi?

Look, Henry,

I know you're grieving.

What happened was just...

But this is the biggest account

our firm has ever had,

will ever have.

We have a chance

to transform this city.

Why don't... why don't

you take some time off?

Get your mind right.

Take a week. Take two.

I mean, l can't have you

walking around the

office in your pajamas.

You understand, yeah?

Henry.

Henry, are you there?

I mentioned to you

at the reception

that we have a family plot

at evermore cemetery

that every Mureaux has been

buried in for over 200 years.

Now, it's your decision.

I know,

but I just don't think penny

should be sitting in some cube.

Also, I stopped by,

and I've left you some

suggestions for the obituary.

I thought you might

need some help with that.

So, call me back

when you get this, all right?

Hey.

Jesus. Don't you

know no better

than to be sneaking up

on people?

I could have tased you.

Sorry, but do you

remember me from...

Wait. You have a taser?

No.

Oh, here. L-let me

give you a hand.

No, no, no, I got it.

It's the rules.

You lug your own crap.

What rules?

What's with all the junk?

I'm building something.

Oh, yeah? I'm an architect.

You know,

maybe I could, uh, help you out.

No.

Ah, come on. We all need

a little help, right?

Not me.

Thanks for the junk, punk.

It's just that I promised...

You're not one of them pervs

likes to touch

little girls, are you?

What?

Don't guys like you have to put

a sign on your lawn?

No!

I'm not a perv, okay?

I-I'm... let's just

start over, okay?

My name... my name

is Henry Herschel.

W-what's yours?

Why?

So I know what to call you.

Fine.

Call me Oprah.

Oprah?

Okay.

Fine. Oprah,

I-I'd really

like to help.

I don't need your help, mister.

Thanks for the offer.

I'm sorry...

Good luck, okay?

Let's go.

Bonjour.

Hey, boss.

Hi.

I hope you don't mind,

but Ms. Herschel

always told us

to just help ourself.

Pascal having them three kids,

and, well, I got this tapeworm.

Uh, no. I-It's fine.

Um, help yourselves.

What's the list for?

Oh, no, that...

That's... uh...

I-It's nothing.

Excuse me.

Um, actually have

either of you guys

seen, um, a teenage girl,

uh, going around

the neighborhood,

getting the trash and stuff?

Mm. That Chile

with the chien.

What?

Yeah. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. Yeah.

The girl with the, uh, bike and the dog.

Yeah, that's her.

What's her name?

Mm. Uh...

Uh, she told me her...

That her name was Oprah.

I don't think

that's her real name.

I think she just said that

because she thinks

I'm a... a pervert.

Pervs got mustaches.

Everybody know that.

Have a good day,

Mr. Herschel.

Henry?

Henry, are you there?

Well, as you know,

I'm on the board of the Nola

revitalization coalition,

and I'm hosting

a benefit tonight,

and it's important

that you be there.

I have chef Robaire

from Sariette catering.

Be here at 7:
00.

It's black tie, of course.

It'll give us a chance

to discuss options for penny.

Anyway, give me a call.

Hey, Mr. Herschel,

we done for the day.

Um, okay.

Actually, did you guys,

uh, by any chance

see the... the girl that we

were talking about earlier?

No.

Oh.

No, man, I know where...

You... what did he...

What'd he say?

Um, he... he say he know

where Oprah live.

Why didn't you tell

me that earlier?

Well, can you take me there now?

That Chile in there with...

Okay.

Well, I'm gonna go over there.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

This is a bad idea.

Hey, guys, relax. Okay?

I'll be right back.

Boudin? touffe?

Oh, yeah.

Let go to the Maison.

"If found, I'm probably screwed.

"Please return

to 234 ransom Lane,

New Orleans, Louisiana.

Thanks."

"September first, 2008.

"Set sail today.

"First time I've said goodbye

to land in ten long years."

"This'll be the most worthwhile

thing I've ever done.

"I'm scared, but I think that's

how you're supposed to feel

when you're doing

something extraordinary."

"September 20th.

"Rain today for nearly an hour.

"I was able to save a few cups.

"Feeling incredibly weak.

Have not seen land

or birds in a few days."

"October eighth.

They came again this morning.

I'm not the only one

starving out here."

"October 15th."

"A storm, a bad one.

The devil has come."

Oh. Oh, sh*t.

No. No, no, no. No.

No, no, no,

no.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, no.

No. Oh, no, no, no.

Hey. Oh, no, stop!

Don't go in there.

Get the hell off of me!

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

What did you do?!

It was an accident, okay? I...

Fire!

Fire!

It's ok... you have to get

the hell out of here.

Okay. I...

Now!

Henry!

Henry, I know you're in there.

Henry, did you forget

about the benefit?

I had a seat for you

in my table.

Open up, dear.

I just want to talk.

Brought you some crawfish.

Or I'll leave it

on the porch, I guess.

Okay, then.

Damn it.

My pa used to say

the most important thing to have

on any journey was a compass.

It tells you where you're going

and where you been.

If you ain't got one,

you'll end up lost and adrift.

Then all you can do is pray

for some help to show you

the way home again.

Hmm.

Morning, perv.

I told you I'm not a pervert.

Just 'cause you

shaved your 'stache,

don't mean you can fool me.

Now, where is it at?

Here. Here you go.

Hey, hold on.

Can we talk for a second?

No, a**hole!

You torched my shed.

That... that was

an accident.

It was everything

I had, dick-weed.

You got any idea

how long it took me to...

What, build a raft?

That's what you're doing, right?

Wait.

Wait! Hold on!

Back off!

Oh!

Whoa.

Merde.

Um...

Every...

Everything's fine.

I'll be... I'll be

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