The Boss Page #11

---

It's probably voice-activated,

high-tech stuff in here.

Open desk.

- Yeah. Open desk!

- CLAIRE:
Open...

No, it was just manual.

I got it! In his desk drawer,

in a file marked "Darnell."

Probably overthought that one.

It's classic Mike.

- MIKE:
I do that a lot.

- Let's go!

RENAULT:
Son of a b*tch, Stephan!

You left the door open!

Oh.

Well, who do we have here?

Michelle Darnell, the baker and Quetzalcatl.

That is impressive.

I mean, you gotta give him that.

I'm not even wearing the mask.

That wouldn't be our contract

you're holding, would it, Michelle?

You wouldn't be foolish enough

to back out of our plan, would you?

You know what?

It was never her company to sell.

- I own 50% of it, so...

- RENAULT:
Yeah.

- I may have fudged the initial paperwork.

- You what?

- But I am sorry.

- So, I'm not...

- And I will rectify...

- Michelle!

You will be. You will be. I'm sorry.

I wonder, how should I approach this?

Call the proper authorities and turn you in?

Or we could just

talk it out amongst ourselves.

Do you know what the fascinating thing is

about the Japanese martial arts?

The discipline.

(INHALES DEEPLY) Ya!

The integrity.

The loyalty.

Okay, okay, stop!

I'll do it.

- I'll suck your dick.

- What?

MIKE:
I don't wanna do it,

but if you promise

not to hurt anybody in this room,

I'll suck your dick.

Mike, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Oh, my God. Mike, no.

- What?

- You don't want me to suck his dick?

- No.

Wrong dick, wrong time, Mike.

- Wrong dick.

- Wrong dick.

It was supposed to be the security guy's dick.

I was trying to be a team player.

Real eager, Claire. It's a red flag.

I don't like sucking d*cks.

It's not my business.

RENAULT:
Nobody's sucking my dick.

CLAIRE:
Fair enough.

Well, that's the first time

I've heard you say that, but...

I'm going to plan B,

my tongue has always been my sword.

MIKE:
Okay.

Put the knife away, Ronald.

It's not a knife. It's a katana.

Katana.

You're not gonna cut anyone

with that knife and we all know it.

(GASPS)

MIKE:
Oh, sh*t!

Big bird, blondie, over there! Go! Scoot!

MIKE:
Okay. All right, easy!

(GROANS)

Oh, sh*t.

Are you crazy, Ron? I'm bleeding!

Give me back what's mine.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Michelle!

- Oh, hello, old friend!

- Get off!

Oh, God, I've missed this.

God, you keep that sh*t tight. No!

(GRUNTING)

CLAIRE:
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Michelle, get up! Get up!

(GROANING)

MIKE:
Just get up.

MICHELLE:
Okay, let's be reasonable.

You know, I'm sure we can come to

some kind of an agreement.

Oh, we're past that point.

For the first time in my life,

I'm trying to do the right thing!

This is not about me and you!

You don't even want our company!

That's true, but you screwed me over

25 years ago, you b*tch.

I thought sending you to prison would help,

but cutting you to ribbons

is the only way I'll get satisfaction!

(GRUNTS)

- Had enough?

- (GRUNTING)

Sh*t.

- Oh, check this out.

- MICHELLE:
F***ing psycho!

(GRUNTING)

Back up.

(YELLING)

Look at that!

Just a figure eight. It's like double Dutch!

That's not how you do it.

Yeah, looks like I'm doing it.

Look at that.

I can bob, somebody can weave.

You see this sh*t.

Ow! God!

Huh? Twelve years of baton.

Everybody likes to make fun

of the baton girls.

Seven, eight, one, two, three, four...

(GASPING)

Just give him the contract!

No! I'm getting our company back!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

(EXCLAIMING)

I will cut you in your white meat!

- What?

- Oh, my God.

Ha!

Now we both have swords, huh?

What is happening?

Pretty f***ing literal, Claire!

We're having a sword fight.

We're both fighting with swords.

I haven't been with another woman

since I've been with you.

Really? I've been with hundreds of men.

You whore!

(GRUNTING)

Oh, sh*t!

Claire!

CLAIRE:
Michelle, let's go!

MIKE:
Michelle, come on!

(BOTH GROANING)

It's been so long.

That's enough! It's too hot.

(BARKING)

Wait a minute! Why are we running up?

I don't know, it was the only door.

I'm doing the best I can!

I should not be running with a sword!

Okay, all right! Okay. All right.

There's gotta be a way down!

Get away from there. Come here.

Michelle, I'm not

so good with heights, you know.

I'm feeling kind of tingly.

Claire, look at me. You have been on

a helipad before and it's gonna be fine.

Right. Right, but then

they weren't chasing us with swords!

You make a good point.

Claire, I'm sorry I got you into this.

RENAULT:
Michelle!

STEPHAN:
God, I need to do more cardio.

Go over there. Go over there! Be careful.

You left so suddenly.

Okay, let them go. I'm the one you want.

You know, I killed a man

in Costa Rica with this sword.

I guess you would call it my killing sword.

(SHOUTING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

You're terrible in bed!

I know.

(WHIMPERING)

Oh, my God! Michelle!

Whoa. Honey! Let her go, Claire!

She's making a fortune in heaven.

Hey, hey. Hey, smile!

Okay, everyone take it easy.

I've been filming this the whole time.

Take the sword away from her

or I swear to God I'm gonna hit "send."

Yeah, you're not gonna hit "send"

because I'm gonna chop your hand off.

- (GRUNTING)

- CLAIRE:
No!

Oh, my God.

- Brother!

- RENAULT:
No!

Son of a... (YELLS) Samurai!

Shut up!

Oh, thank goodness!

Michelle, are you all right?

MICHELLE:
I'm fine!

I'm about to feel much better.

- RENAULT:
No.

- Yes!

Be wrong to ask for your forgiveness?

It's Ron talking.

- Oh, Ron!

- I'm sorry.

Renault, do you

still need me to hold them at bay?

Oh, my God.

Come here.

Ow.

Ow.

Michelle, don't make out with the sociopath!

I know. You make a good point.

But this is really good stuff.

Victim here.

Michelle!

CLAIRE:
Michelle! He literally tried to kill you!

MICHELLE:
I know. But his mouth didn't!

MICHELLE:
Okay! Attention, everyone!

I just wanna say what a great first year

for the Darnell's Darlings.

And what a great first house

for Rachel and Claire.

(ALL CHEERING)

MIKE:
Cheers!

Finally, they have a decent guestroom

so I can stay over when I get blasted.

- CLAIRE:
Michelle.

- What's "blasted"?

I'll show you in about

three drinks. (LAUGHING)

- No, she won't.

- MICHELLE:
I'm kidding.

But if I can,

can I take a serious note for a minute,

and I just wanna say I'm proud of you.

You've built a great family home here

for you and Rachel.

And I'm awfully glad

that I get to be a part of that. So.

Thank you, Michelle.

Thank you.

Oh, and thank you for the new sofa!

You really shouldn't have done that.

Oh, well, I should have, though.

I mean, the old one was

very uncomfortable and very dangerous.

But don't worry. I don't wanna hear it.

I did donate it to just the right person.

(THUDDING)

Hannah!

Michelle Darnell just sent us a sofa bed.

You know what I call that? A victory. I win.

Whatever.

Oh, it is comfortable.

Ah. (CHUCKLING)

It's comfortable...

(YELLING)

Darnell!

I may have had

a little bit of your Scotch last night

and I got into the most wonderful chip.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes