The Boss Page #7

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- Off you go!

- And here I am, okay.

MICHELLE:
Strange girl.

Okay.

Claire, if this company is going to work,

I need you full time.

I can't have you here.

Are you in or are you out?

I can't just leave my job!

I mean, I have to have a steady income.

I have Rachel to think about.

No, no, no. This is for Rachel. Okay?

If this works out the way I know

it's going to work out,

it's gonna set you two up for life.

We're already making enough money

to pay your rent and all your bills,

and I'm just about to put

a very big fish on the hook as our investor.

This is what I do.

Okay? You know that.

You have to trust me.

I do hate this job.

I mean, it's a terrible job.

My God. I mean, look at him.

He's slumped over, asleep.

I hope he's asleep.

You don't want to be that guy.

What do you say?

Okay.

Yes. I'm all in.

Dana, I quit.

I'm gonna start my own business, okay?

- I have my own business.

- Yes, she does.

Guys, it was lovely here.

Not really,

but I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Mike, would you still like to go on that date?

Uh, yes, I would.

I'm free tomorrow at 7:30.

Bring your A-game.

Tracy? Wake up! I'm out!

MICHELLE:
Wake it up, Tracy!

- No.

- No.

- No, thank you.

- I'm so...

- Ooh. No.

- I'm very flattered.

Seems like a good night

for sexual activity, Claire.

(CHUCKLES)

How long has it been

since you've had sexual activity?

Stop yelling "sexual activity."

'Cause Rachel might hear you.

You know, you're the one that's yelling

"sexual activity" out in the hallway.

Just answer the question, Claire.

I don't know.

If I had to guess,

maybe four, five, six years?

What? Oh, my God.

Did you take a vow?

It's very hard to find a good sitter.

Okay. We'll go with that. I just...

I'm gonna say, it probably doesn't help

that you're dressed like

you grocery-shop at a CVS.

What?

I love this sweater.

I don't know why you would.

This sweater goes with everything.

It's a neutral.

It doesn't go with you or your skin,

or your face.

That sweater is the equivalent

of a sandwich board

that just says, "I give up."

And then in the back, it says,

"I never started tryin'."

It somewhat looks like you have

sewn together two very long, sad tube socks

and then filled each end

with wet sand and rocks.

What are you talking about?

It just looks like two basset hounds

may have cried themselves to death

in your sweater.

I like it. I think this looks great.

- Can I...

- (GASPS)

- Michelle!

- Well...

- You are...

- I had to check.

I didn't know what was in there.

You're making me feel very insecure

right before my date.

Don't!

If your breasts could speak right now,

I think they'd be saying, "Claire,

"please don't zip me up in your jeans."

- That is...

- You're gonna zip a nipple.

That's not what they'd say.

May I adjust your strap?

- 'Cause I'm trying to help you, Claire.

- (SIGHS)

You say, "Be more helpful."

And I'm trying to be helpful.

You can tighten the strap.

Okay. What...

Just a little, 'cause I want it...

What is that toggle?

Oh, it's a nursing bra.

Oh, my God.

Are you still nursing Rachel?

No, it's from when she was a baby.

But it's very comfortable.

That's not comfortable to see.

Now, let me see this.

It's very often a fit issue.

(EXHALES)

Why do these have so much pull?

- All right, well...

- (GASPS)

Claire! It's like Geppetto!

Look at that. Look at this.

It's like, "Horses, horses."

- It's like I'm...

- Oh, my God.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!

It feels good. I need to be comfortable.

It doesn't feel good to my eyes.

Can I just put 'em

where they're supposed to be?

And I want you to be able

to see the difference.

You got "Happy girl", and then, uh-oh.

They just drop out.

And I should not be able to separate...

- Okay. All right.

- They're heavier, but...

So how do you like it

when I just get in there and bang around?

- I love it.

- Why is there not...

Oh, there's no give.

Look at that. I can't even feel that.

That's when you know...

I don't feel it, okay? 100% silicone.

And not the kind that's supposed to ever

be inside the body.

- (SNORTING)

- I know. They're fantastic.

That's something else.

Might feel that.

That's my nipple.

- Yeah, they're up here, where they should be.

- Oh, my God.

No, see, you need to bring 'em down.

No! They can't, anyway, no.

That's what you need to do.

They're too high, Michelle.

- There's a structure. Stop.

- No.

If we were... You need to...

- Look, just take 'em a little bit lower.

- Oh, my God.

- How about that?

- I paid a fortune for these.

- No, I'm gonna bring 'em...

- I'm keepin' 'em up!

Just gonna push 'em right down.

I'm trying to help you not...

What're you guys doing?

Hey, there!

We're just... There was a... Probably a...

- I was...

- Bugs.

We were jostling each other's bosoms like...

Gals do.

No, we weren't.

I was just trying to help your mom here

get ready for her big date.

- I'm a little nervous.

- She's a little bit nervous.

Always gotta stretch your b*obs

when you're nervous.

RACHEL:
You should change.

That's your TV-watching sweater.

Thank you.

Okay. Thank you for that.

Okay, well, we're gonna leave you to it.

You can treat yourself to a little underwire

and something that

doesn't look like you sell ceramics.

Let's go watch a movie. I'm babysitting.

- Have you seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

- No.

I'm kidding! I'm not kidding.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(SIGHS)

Hi.

Hi. Oh, my God. You look gorgeous.

I'm wearing a bra, a new bra. It's not new.

It's old. I just haven't worn it in a while.

Hey, you know what,

I went with an old bra tonight, too, so...

Let's get a table.

Absolutely.

I wanted to tell you earlier actually,

on a serious note.

When you walked out

the other day from work,

quite dramatically, I might add,

six other people quit.

- What?

- Mmm-hmm. They just walked out.

- Oh, my God.

- I know, right?

I started a chain reaction.

You started a huge chain reaction.

Six people walked out

and then immediately

three people walked back inside.

I think they were outside smoking.

But it was like you were a cult leader.

It was like a tremendous show of support.

It was, like, very inspiring.

- Really?

- Yeah, really.

Do you find that hard to believe?

- That I'm tremendously inspiring?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, a bit.

- Really?

Well, let me tell you something, lady.

You are more than a little inspiring.

I have been talking ad nauseam here.

Can you, uh, grab the mic for a sec?

Well, I, um...

I got knocked up in grad school by my TA.

When he found out I was pregnant,

he pretended like we didn't know each other.

- What?

- Then gave me a "D."

- What?

- Yeah, nice surprise.

Yeah.

But I got a great kid out of it.

I bet you're a great mom.

I try.

I mean, unless she is currently unsupervised.

Then you're a horrible mom.

No, she's with Michelle.

- She's with Michelle?

- Yes.

She's your felon babysitter.

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