The Boss Baby Page #2

With your track record?

You don't know anything about me.

So that's how you wanna play it, huh?

Let's see.

Templeton, Timothy. Middle name....

I'm sorry.

Leslie!

- Mostly C's...

- How do you know all that?

Can't ride a bike without training wheels?

Even bears can ride a bike

without training wheels, Leslie.

DOB says you're seven.

Seven and a half.

Power nap! You were saying?

I'm seven and a half.

Exactly! You're old.

It's time to make way

for the next generation.

It's the way of the world.

You would never ask your parents

for an old toy.

Lam-Lam?

Everyone wants the hot, new thing.

Destroy. Destroy.

- Lam-Lam!

- I've got fresh batteries.

Boom!

Mom and Dad don't even know you.

They love me!

Oh, yeah? Do the math, kid.

There's only so much love to go around.

It's like these beads.

You used to have all your parents' love.

All their time. All their attention.

You had all the beads.

But then I came along.

Babies take up a lot of time.

They need a lot of attention.

They get all the love.

We could share.

You obviously didn't go to business school.

Look, Templeton,

the numbers just don't add up.

There's not enough love for the two of us.

Not enough beads to go around.

And then, all of a sudden,

there's no place for Tim.

Tim doesn't fit anymore.

Oh, no! What about Tim?

So keep quiet. Stay out of my way.

Or there's gonna be cutbacks.

You can't be fired from your own family.

Can you?

Wake up, little halflings! It's 7:00 a.m.

Wake up, little half...

What's the use?

Arise for a nutritious breakfast!

It's 7:
00 a.m.

What's wrong, Timothy?

Has that little dwarf made you blue?

Mm-hmm.

Then I shall cast upon him a great curse!

He shall not pass!

It's no use, Wizzie.

He's got Mom and Dad completely fooled.

If they knew what I knew,

they'd never let him stay.

Perhaps your parents need to be enlightened.

With a great curse!

They shall not pass!

Yeah. I need to enlighten them...

with proof!

That's what I need, proof!

Expose his dark magic!

Testing, testing.

Testing, testing.

Maybe they can return him to the store...

and get their money back!

We could buy a bouncy house!

Godspeed, Tim! It's 8:45 a.m.

Ninja.

Ninja.

Ninja.

Ninja.

Babies everywhere! They're spreading.

Mom! Dad! What's going on?

It's an invasion!

It's a play date!

That's a keeper.

It's a meeting, and you won't be attending.

We'll see about that.

Thank you all for coming here

on such short notice.

Now, before we begin...

Yes, sir!

- Sure is!

- Affirmative!

Jimbo, run some interference.

Hey!

- We babies are having a crisis!

- Oh, no!

- That's awful!

- Horrible!

What is it?

It's simpler if I just show you.

Teddy, if you please.

Let's put on a show.

Here we go!

Jimbo, hit the lights.

You see, babies aren't getting

as much love as we used to.

Why? Have we been bad?

No, Staci.

But I'll tell you who is.

Behold our mortal enemy. Puppies!

No! That's exactly the problem.

Puppies? What's the deal with puppies?

Throughout history...

people have loved babies

more than anything in the world.

We've always been a must-have item...

number one on every wish list.

Puppies were merely accessories.

But all that changed

when the puppies began coming out...

with new designer models.

Each one more adorable than the last.

Remember the Labradoodle?

The Peekapoo?

The Chiweenie?

Try to say "Chiweenie" without smiling.

Not possible. Don't waste your time.

We all laughed at the Shar Pei.

And now it's number one in China.

- Oh, no.

- That's terrible!

- Horrible!

- Yes.

And it gets even worse.

Francis Francis, the CEO of Puppy Co,

made this announcement.

Teddy, roll the clip.

And we are on schedule...

to release the most adorable puppy ever.

We're gonna launch it

at the pet convention in Las Vegas!

Watch out, world!

It's gonna crush the competition!

- Yay!

- No, Jimbo.

No "Yay"! We are the competition!

This is war.

Puppies are winning, and babies are losing.

Thank you, Teddy.

And if this new puppy

is as cute as we fear...

it could put the baby business

out of business, baby.

That's awful!

Bad news, baby!

What are we going to do?

My job is to find out exactly what

that new puppy is...

so that Baby Corp can stop it.

And you're going to help me.

- Genius!

- Home run!

You still got it, boss!

Yay!

Yay.

Now, your parents all work for Puppy Co.

So have you learned anything from them?

- Yes, sir!

- Sure did!

Fantastic. Triplets, go!

- A.

- B.

- C.

- D.

No, what have you learned

about the new puppy?

Yay, puppy!

No, Jimbo! Puppies are evil.

Staci, read back the notes.

I can't read. What's it say?

This is my team?

A muscle-head, a bunch of yes men,

and a doodler?

- Exactly!

- Affirmative!

Good call.

- Oh, yeah!

- Nice one, BB!

Gotcha!

Put that cookie down.

Cookies are for closers.

- Let's have another show!

- No, Teddy!

- How about a hug?

- No more shows!

Boss?

- There's plenty of love to go around.

- Go to sleep!

Nighty-night.

- Boss!

- Boss!

- What?

- Parents!

It's like they're having their own

little meeting.

- Isn't that adorable?

- Who wants dessert?

God, this is so humiliating.

God, this is so humiliating.

Wait until Mom and Dad hear this.

Hey, Templeton, what you got there?

Nothing.

Hand over the tape.

Never!

Mom! Dad! Over here!

- Hi, Timmy!

- Hi! Anyway...

Flower power!

You can't get away from Johnny Law,

simpleton.

Fasten your seat belt. Let's go!

Run, run, run.

What? Hey!

Uh-oh.

Run, run, run.

Catch, catch, catch.

Yes!

Oh, yeah!

Let go, you little...

Oh, look! The kids are finally getting along.

That's nice.

Sayonara!

You wanna play?

Let's play.

No!

Save Boss! Save Boss!

- Get him!

- I got him!

- I got him!

- I got him!

You're toast, baby man!

Upsies, I need upsies!

Who wants...

Cheese sticks!

Mom, Dad! I've got proof!

Someone can't go down the stairs?

Nothing can stop me!

Mom! Dad! Where are you guys?

Hello?

Where did everyone go?

Mom, Dad! The baby can talk!

Oh, can he now?

Wait, how did you...

Hand over the tape, Timmy.

Or Lam-Lam gets it, see?

No!

What's that, Lam-Lam? You want a nose ring?

It's really not my scene,

but who am I to judge?

And an eyebrow ring?

Seems like a little too much, Lam-Lam.

How's that gonna look in a job interview?

Stop it!

The tape, Timmy! Or I'm gonna rip, rip, rip.

No! Let go!

- You let go!

- You let go!

- Give me the tape!

- Give me Lam-Lam!

Whoops! Too far.

Templeton! Templeton, let's be reasonable.

We can be reasonable, right?

What are you doing?

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