The Boss Baby Page #3

You've been asking for this

since you got here!

We can talk about this over a juice box!

Time for juice boxes is over.

No, Templeton. You wouldn't.

Say bye-bye, baby! You're fired!

What are you doing?

Nothing.

My proof!

Tim! Explain yourself!

Yes, explain yourself.

It wasn't me! It was the baby's fault.

The baby's fault?

It's true! He can talk.

They all can talk.

They were having a meeting.

There's something about puppies.

It's one big baby con-spy-racy!

Timothy Leslie Templeton!

We are very disappointed in you.

- No, we're mad at you!

- Exactly, we're mad at you.

- Mad?

- You need a time-out!

- You're grounded!

- Yes, grounded!

- For two...

- Three!

- Three days?

- Weeks!

Weeks! Three weeks!

For three... evers!

Grounded?

You're gonna stay in this house

with your baby brother...

until you learn to get along.

Great.

It was my first time behind bars.

The big house.

The lock-up.

Grounded for life.

The minutes turned into hours,

the hours into days.

Every man has his breaking point.

This was mine.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

- Take these broken wings and learn to fly

- Hey, that's my song.

All your life

You were only waiting

For this moment to arise

It's okay, little halfling.

Perhaps I can be of some assistance.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night!

Pray, take these broken wings

and learn to fly!

Fly, you fools!

Thanks, Wizzie.

But it's not the same.

If only I could reach my magical shank.

I could break us out of this big house.

Templeton!

Templeton, we have to talk.

Go away.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Stop it!

That's my song, not yours.

My parents wrote it just for me.

Really?

Your parents are Lennon and McCartney?

No, Ted and Janice.

You don't even know their names!

You're just trying to steal them from me.

You stole everything!

You're the one who should be in jail!

Look, it's time we put our differences aside.

Have you been...

No!

Where's HR when you need them?

Take it.

I don't want your filthy money.

Look, I told you to stay out of my way.

I can't! You're in my house.

I don't wanna be here...

any more than you want me to be here.

Then why are you torturing me?

The truth is I'm no ordinary baby.

Well, no kidding.

I'm on a mission from above.

Are you the Baby Jesus?

Yes. I'm the Baby Jesus.

No!

You see, I'm more middle management

for the company.

The company? What company?

Here.

Take this. It'll explain everything.

What do you want me to do with that?

- I want you to suck it.

- You suck it!

No, it's for you to suck.

I'm not sucking that!

- Suck it.

- I don't know where it's been!

It's not where it's been.

It's where it will take you.

Don't you wanna know...

where babies really come from?

Binky. Papish. Nuk-Nuk.

Boo-Boo. Bo-Bo. Bah-Bah.

Chupie. Hushie-Baby. Tootsie.

It goes by many names.

But through its power,

you will know the truth.

Come on, faster!

Mommy!

Where are we?

Welcome to Baby Corp!

No way.

- Thank you.

- What?

Relax. They can't see us or hear us.

- We're, like, virtual and stuff?

- Yep.

- You mean they won't feel this?

- Nope.

- Or this?

- Nada.

Karate!

Don't embarrass yourself, Templeton.

I can still see you.

So this is where babies come from?

Where'd you think, the cabbage patch?

Magic fairies?

No, my parents told me that...

What?

No. That's disgusting.

Yeah, it didn't sound right to me, either.

I can't believe

my parents didn't tell me about this.

If people knew where babies really came from,

they'd never have one.

Same thing with hot dogs, by the way.

Going upsies!

So how come I don't remember this place?

You did.

But after normal babies

get their pacifiers taken away...

you forget all about Baby Corp.

How come you're not normal?

A few of us, the best of the best...

are selected for the...

For the ultimate honor.

Upper management.

This, Templeton, is where all the action is.

Nap time in Sector G.

So this whole place is run by babies?

Yep.

My Dad says, "Those who can, do."

"And those who can't, supervise."

Your father is a hippy.

What happens when you grow up?

We don't.

We drink a super-secret baby formula

that keeps us babies forever.

Back to work! Formula break is over!

We're in a crisis here!

Don't you know we're in a crisis here?

Who is that?

That is my boss. Big Boss Baby.

What is she screaming about?

Well, see this pie chart?

Wow, it looks like a giant pie.

It represents all the love there is

in the world.

- I love pie.

- Who doesn't?

- Apple.

- Fine.

- No, cherry!

- Perfect!

- Not pumpkin.

- Okay.

That's a vegetable.

Point is, the puppies' slice

is getting bigger and bigger.

They're stealing all our love!

Just like you did to me.

Exactly.

And if this keeps up...

there might not be enough pie left

for babies.

No pie?

No pie.

So, my mission is to find out

what this new puppy is.

So you're, like, on a spy mission? Cool!

Yes! Cool! And if... When I succeed...

I'll become a Baby Corp legend.

Like Super Big Boss Baby, Mega Boss Baby...

Seriously Big Boss Baby...

and him.

Now that's a big, fat baby.

No, that's Big Fat Boss Baby.

This is Super Colossal Big Fat Boss Baby.

He was the youngest Chief Executive Infant

in the history of the company.

Was? What happened to him?

Retired, years ago.

But I still try and live up to his legend.

In every situation, I ask myself...

"W-W-S-C-B-F-B-B-D?

"What Would Super Colossal

Big Fat Boss Baby Do?"

So that's all you get?

Your picture on the wall?

Come here!

I'll get a promotion.

The corner office...

with my own private potty.

Wow.

So when you're done, you're coming back here?

A-S-A-P, T-i-m.

I'm not a family man. I belong behind a desk.

- That's awesome!

- I know, right?

- Pew pew.

- What?

So help me,

I will nail his diaper to the wall!

Have we heard anything

from that little Boss Baby...

that we sent down to the Templetons?

- I don't know.

- You're fired!

Oh, no.

You're all fired!

The pet convention is in two days.

If he doesn't come up with answers...

he is fired, retired!

- Gone!

- Tour's over.

What was Big Bossy Baby Lady screaming about?

She's demanding actual results.

The pet convention is in two days,

and I've got nothing!

That's her! Don't answer it!

Stress nap!

If I don't find out

what that new puppy is and fast...

not only will I not get that promotion...

I could get fired!

Hey, relax.

I'm sure there's other cool jobs

for babies, right?

Meanwhile, two days goes by like that.

You better start packing.

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