The Boss Baby Page #4

What?

You don't get it, Templeton.

If I'm fired, they'll take away my formula.

I will turn into a normal baby...

and live here forever with you.

- No!

- Yes!

And I promise you this...

Every morning you wake up...

I'll be there.

Every night, at dinner...

I'll be there.

Every birthday party...

I'll be there.

Every Christmas!

I'll be there

Year after year after year.

We will grow old together.

You and I...

will be brothers.

Always.

- No. No, this is terrible!

- I know.

- This can't be happening.

- But it is!

- You can't stay here!

- I can't!

- Don't panic!

- But it feels right!

I know, but we have to fix this.

We have to make sure you don't get fired.

We?

We.

I will help you...

but just to get rid of you.

Deal?

Deal.

Here's to never seeing you again.

Back at ya, baby.

Now let's get to work.

Come on, come on, come on.

Slice!

No, no.

There's nothing here about a new puppy.

Aren't you gonna do any work?

I'm very busy delegating.

He drains it!

So once we find the file on the new puppy...

what do we do then?

Send in the baby ninjas?

Even better.

I'm going to write the perfect memo.

- Boom!

- Boom!

Wait. What's a memo?

A memo is something you write

to give people information.

That's your plan?

You're gonna write a book report?

That's so boring.

No, Templeton.

Memos are for important things.

A memo can bring people together.

A memo can be a call to arms...

a manifesto, a poem.

A memo can change the world.

Wow! When you explain it like that...

it still sounds boring.

You'll learn, kid.

You'll learn.

Wait a second. This is it!

What? What is it?

Check this out. Take Your Kid to Work Day.

People take children

to a place of business? Why?

Because it's awesome!

It's disgusting.

Don't you see? We can get inside Puppy Co...

and find out what the new puppy is!

What's the point?

You're grounded.

Your parents aren't

going to take us anywhere.

You're right. They think we hate each other.

Hate is a strong word.

It's the right word, but still.

We have to convince them

that we're actual brothers.

Right.

That we...

Loathe?

No.

Like!

No. That we...

La, la, la...

Le, Le, Le...

No.

No way. No. You don't mean...

Love each other.

I just threw up a noodle and swallowed it.

- Here comes the choo-choo train!

- No.

- Choo, choo, chugga, chugga.

- No choo-choo!

Hold the train! No!

It looks like it's already been eaten!

Who's there? I got a racket!

What's going on in here?

I'm just feeding the baby.

They're watching.

Choo-choo.

Okay.

Choo-choo on that.

I don't wear nautical. It's not even Friday!

Come on, you're putting this thing on!

You gonna make me? You can't make me, punk.

- What have you done to me?

- Stop!

- Get back here!

- No!

No way.

Come on!

Tim, what are you doing in here?

Oh, no.

Hey, what's all the racket?

Isn't he adorable?

I've got one for you, too! Ahoy, matey!

What?

Bummer.

Smile!

Smile for the camera.

It makes me feel weak.

- Who's ticklish?

- It doesn't work on me.

- Here?

- I'm dead down there.

Come on, everyone has a tickle spot.

"'I don't think I'll fit,' said Gretel."

Come here, look at this.

"'I could get in myself.'

"And then, Hansel and Gretel...

"pushed the wicked old woman into the oven.

"And the godless witch

was miserably burnt to death."

Let me get this straight.

The story is about cannibalism

and burning people alive.

Yeah.

No wonder kids are so messed up!

Getting along is exhausting.

Back at ya, Tim.

You should have seen your face

in that picture.

You were all...

I'm not used to being tickled.

Once at a corporate retreat.

But those things always get weird.

What? You've never been tickled?

What about your parents?

I'm sorry. I forgot.

You didn't have parents, did you?

Tim, I may look like a baby...

but I was born all grown up.

I can't even imagine not being a kid.

You missed out on your whole childhood?

You never had someone to love you?

You can't miss what you never had.

Wake up, little halflings!

Hey, Tim. Wake up, buddy.

- What?

- Rise and shine!

Is something wrong? Am I fired?

No, you're late for work.

What?

It's Take Your Kid to Work Day!

And you're the kid.

You're officially un-grounded.

- Really?

- Really.

Can the baby come, too?

I don't see why not.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes!

Yeah!

I wish I was that excited for work.

Look, it's my spatula.

Yeah, baby.

All right, gentlemen. Welcome to Puppy Co.

Wow! This is awesome!

And Tim, look!

They have a puppy pool and everything!

Isn't that sanitary?

Hey, bud, you wanna get a picture

with Puppy Co Pete?

No, thanks.

It's probably too scary for the baby.

Nice call.

Your dad and I have some work to do.

You wanna come up to the office

and hang out with us?

We'll stick your brother in the Puppy Zone...

while we have a little Tim time.

Tim time?

Dad and I know we haven't been able

to do as much with you as we used to.

So, what do you say?

No, thanks.

I'd rather spend time with the baby.

- So cute.

- That's so sweet.

Way to keep your eyes on the prize,

Templeton.

We find out what the new puppy is,

and I go home.

You guys stay in the Puppy Zone, okay?

Okay, bye!

That's where we'll find

the secret file on the new puppy.

We'll never get through that door.

No, not that door.

The doggy door.

But how do we get past the guard?

No, no, no. No way.

No!

Itchy, plushy, puppy pants!

What a cute, little pup...

Ow!

Yay!

Kids.

Get down.

All the way down.

I've never been so humiliated in all my life.

Arf!

Hey!

Fetch!

What am I doing?

Oh, no!

Yes!

What a good boy.

No. No biting.

Timothy Templeton, office ninja.

- Over here.

- What is it?

It's gotta be in here.

It's begging us to go in.

Wow.

That's a lot of paperwork.

I thought puppies shredded everything.

This is getting creepy.

I've come for your soul.

Cut it out!

Wait!

That's it!

The file!

See! I was right.

No. I've seen this before somewhere.

We've gotta find something

to replace it with.

You're right. Like another file.

Yes! A file with the same weight.

So it can be placed

in the exact same position.

- With the exact same weight.

- You already said that.

I know I said it. Hey, you hit me twice.

Make it a third time. Wait!

I think I've seen one here.

Smead manila, pressboard edges.

About 50 ounces. No, 49.

Try this one.

Wait!

Now it's perfect.

Yes!

I feel like we should run.

I know, but it's just so mesmerizing.

I kind of wanna see how it ends.

Yeah, me too.

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