The Brady Bunch Movie Page #3

where are we going to find $20,000?

Oh, no, we're going to

have to sell our house.

Clowns never laughed before

Beanstalks never grew

No one ever loved...

What is it? I'm busy writing

a song for Danielle.

- I have to tell you something.

- OK.

But I can't because

that would be tattling.

If it's important, it's not tattling.

I'll never tell that Mom and Dad

have to sell the house...

...because of $20,000.

Oops.

- That's why I called this meeting.

- What are we going to do?

If we don't raise $20,000 in one week,

we'll have to move.

- Go to a new school.

- Make new friends.

But, Jan, you don't have any friends.

Wait.

We can raise the money ourselves.

- How?

- We can get jobs.

Neato idea!

I'm good at so many things,

I wouldn't know where to start.

I'm just so perfect

at so many things.

- You're just jealous.

- I'm going to make some serious cash.

I can make more than you.

With what, shrimpo?

Tooth-fairy money?

- Who are you calling "shrimpo"?

- Don't play ball in the house.

I'm going to tell.

Hey, stop fighting!

To save this house,

we've got to make as much as we can.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

But, Jan, you don't have any friends.

You're just jealous, Jan.

- Jan, what are you doing?

- Go back to sleep.

Jan, don't.

Marcia's hair's so beautiful.

Exactly. That's why I'm going

to get a lot of money when I sell it.

Jan, what are you doing?

Oh, Marcia, I love your hair.

- What a groovy hairdo.

- You're so beautiful.

No! She's supposed to look bad. No!

What a horrible dream.

Greg, have you gone bananas?

No. I've just found a way

to save our house.

I'm going to become a rock star.

That's great. But I need advice

about something really important.

Charlie asked me to the dance

and I said yes.

Then Doug asked me and I said

yes to him. What am I going to do?

Tell the guy you don't want

to go with that something came up.

- And that works?

- Girls say it to me all the time.

- Hey, Marcia.

- Hi, Charlie.

- I can't wait until the dance.

- Oh, about the dance, Charlie.

Well, something suddenly came up.

Oh, well, you know, that's OK.

Maybe some other time.

- Sure.

- Bye.

Bye.

Greg was right.

Well, that takes care of that problem.

Let's see what's next.

Clowns never laughed before

Beanstalks never grew...

"Attention! Missing school office

supplies. Reward offered."

Office supplies? I don't know

what you're talking about.

I heard it before.

I've got reward money riding on this.

Now, spread 'em.

Oh, come on, Mrs Whitfield,

you'll have to do better than that.

You sure have some

strong thigh muscles, Mrs Whitfield.

But I've been here for hours.

You won't regret it, I guarantee.

Please, weren't you ever a kid with a

dream of making something of yourself?

Clowns? Beanstalks?

- What the hell is this?

- A guaranteed gold record.

Clowns never laughed before

And beanstalks...

No. Look, what did you say

your name was?

- Bravo. Johnny Bravo.

- Listen, Bravo.

Today's sound is raw, with an edge.

Seattle, grunge, garage bands.

Don't they have beanstalks in Seattle?

Hey, there, groovy chick.

Fabulous. Put the head back on.

Listen, I'm closing in

on the Bradys, though. They'll be...

Can I call you back, Mr Feldman?

My car phone's ringing.

- Hello?

- I'm calling from a marketing firm,

we'd just like a few minutes...

- Hi, Mrs Dittmeyer. I'm here to see Eric.

- Hi, Greggy.

I'm so glad you're here.

I've got some more of your mail.

- Oh.

- Oh, gee, your hands are full.

Let me just...

You've gotten so big.

You're almost as big as your daddy.

- And I'm still growing.

- Before my very eyes.

Your pants are so tight.

- Hey, Mrs Dittmeyer.

- Peter.

Can I mow your lawn?

I'm trying to earn some extra money.

Two Bradys. Tell you what.

When you're done, come inside

and help me make a sandwich.

A penny for your thoughts.

How about 20,000 of them?

You're worried about the house, aren't

you? I said I'd take care of everything.

Oh, Mike,

it's just that we're so happy here.

I sure would miss our kitchen,

our garden and Alice.

If we lose her,

who'll make the lunches?

Who'll answer the phone,

"Brady residence?" Who'll help?

Now, honey, Alice isn't going

anywhere and neither are we.

Besides,

she doesn't do everything around here.

Time to put your bookmark in,

Mr Brady.

Sure am glad your mom

let you sleep over on a school night.

Marcia, I have to tell you something.

You're the prettiest girl

in the entire school.

I know, but how can I use my good

looks and sparkling personality...

...to make money

and save our house?

That's it! I could be a teen model.

Oh, thanks, Noreen,

you're the greatest.

Noreen, is that you?

Oh, I'm sorry,

I thought that was my leg.

- Goodnight.

- Sweet dreams, Marcia.

Why did you have to come?

This is my thing.

You're not the only one

who can be a model, you know.

Those are pretty pictures.

What have you modelled for?

- Guess.

- Are you a Breck Girl?

- No, Guess Jeans.

- OK.

Levi's, Wrangler, OshKosh B'Gosh?

- Brady girls.

- That's us.

- So, you're professional models?

- Yes, we are.

- So what do you have to show me?

- Plenty.

- You!

- Wow!

- Thank you.

- What does Marcia have that I don't?

Now, I may be able to use you,

but first you'll have to do a little work

on yourself.

Like walking with a book on my head?

No, I mean cutting that hair, capping

those teeth and losing 30 pounds.

How do you feel

about breast implants?

Cut my hair?!

And after much consideration,

I designed a structure

especially for your needs.

So, what do you think?

Well, it's just too good a design for

a fast-food joint. See what I'm saying?

This is... I think you're pumping a

dry well here. Understand? All right.

I'll be in touch with you. Sorry, Mikey.

Well, strike two.

There's got to be a way

to make $20,000.

Hey! "Search for the Stars is looking

for fresh young musical acts.

"First prize, $20,000."

- Too bad I'm not a musical act.

- Hey, Marcia.

I'm not Marcia, I'm Jan!

- The usual, Sam.

- Sure thing, Mrs Brady.

- 20 pounds of ground round coming up.

- Carol, are you still eating red meat?

Of course, I've got growing kids.

I have to think about their health.

Isn't Sam the best?

- We're going to miss this place.

- We're not moving.

I thought everyone on the block was.

Mike says there's no reason to sell.

We'll be here forever.

- There you go, Mrs Brady.

- Thanks, Sam.

Have a nice day.

- Bye, Sam.

- Bye.

Call the troops to dinner.

In a second. Just checking

for a letter from Davy Jones.

Nothing.

If I don't get an answer soon, I'll be

the most humiliated girl in the world.

You think waiting

three weeks is rough?

Try waiting 20 years for the question.

Alice!

You're the Casanova

of Clinton Avenue.

- How can I get Holly to go for me?

- Chicks love compliments.

- Tell her she's groovy.

- That works?

Trust me, it always gets a reaction.

Now, throw me a pass.

24, 32, set, hike!

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