The Brass Bottle Page #3

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you're beginning to worry me.

Why, I thought I heard you

talking to someone.

Hmm, yes, uh, uh,

I was on the telephone.

I was trying to reach Sylvia.

Would you, uh,

would you call the restaurant

and tell her I'm on my way?

- Of course.

And Mr. Ventimore,

when you open your own office,

I'd be delighted to come

and work for you.

Oh, I'd be delighted

to have you, Ms. Glidden.

Mr. Fakrash,

you've got to stop popping

in and out of places.

I could not leave thee

on an angry note, my son.

Love for thee hath

entered my heart.

Now, you see what you've done?

Do they follow to do thee evil?

They follow to do me a $20 fine.

Despair not.

The Philistines and their

chariots shall be destroyed.

They're not Philistines

and those aren't chariots

and don't you go

destroying them.

On the heart and on the head

be thy wish.

No harm shall come to them.

Pretty cute, Mr. Farkash.

Thanks.

I have pleased thee?

It is well.

Verily, I like your century.

This mode of transport

is swifter

than the fleetest camel

and smoother

than a flying carpet.

Where are we going?

Mr. Fakrash, uh,

you won't be offended

if I speak freely?

Thou offend me?

Reveal thy heart.

Well, I'm meeting

my fiance for lunch.

I'd like to have you

come with me,

but, uh, I can't.

Why not?

Well, let's face it.

How do I explain you?

What meanest though?

Explain me.

Well, you don't belong

in this century.

The way you dress,

the things you do.

How can I say to Sylvia

or to anyone?

I want you to meet my friend,

Mr. Fakrash. He's a genie.

He's been living

in a brass bottle

the past few thousand years.

They'd all think I was crazy.

Thy wisdom

is hardly inferior to that

of the great King Suleyman.

May he rest in peace.

Very well.

I shall leave thee for a time

to study the ways

of thy century.

Until I return,

I shall watch over thee.

Well, wait, wait,

don't disappear

in front of people.

Wait until I stop the car,

then you can get out, walk away,

step into a doorway

or down an alley,

and in that way,

nobody will be able to see you.

We're in luck.

Hey, mister.

Hey, mister. I was here first.

Hey, buddy.

Hey.

Hey.

He has angered thee,

wouldst have me--

- No, no.

I wouldst not.

How many times

do I have to tell you?

I seek only to serve.

Farewell, my son.

Until next we meet.

Mis-- Mr. Fakrash,

uh, this is a trivial thing

to bother you with,

but I'm in a hurry.

Do you, uh, well, could you, uh,

could you move this thing

over there?

It is well. So be it.

Allah be praised.

We have struck a well.

Run, Mr. Fakrash.

Beat it, beat it.

Harold, what happened?

Bad plumbing.

Let's use your car.

Mine's a bathtub.

- Oh, well,

you aren't just

gonna leave it there?

We'll come back for it

when they turn off the water.

We've got a busy afternoon

ahead of us.

First thing we've got to find me

a new office.

Harold, you were fired?

Wait till you hear what

happened with Mr. Wackerbath.

Mr. Ventimore,

I've been cooking for people

in this neighborhood

for 15 years,

and I think I can manage

a simple dinner

without the help

of those two in there.

Would you please

get them out of my hair?

- Seymour.

- I must say,

if I were entertaining my girl's

folks for the first time,

I'd worry about those two.

I'm worried.

Well-- well, what is this?

Even if the Kenton's

don't drink, we do.

- Oh, no.

- Besides, this is a fine chance

to show off

your fancy French crystal.

Now, that's the last thing

I wanna do.

I don't want anything to remind

Professor Kenton of Paris.

Anything or anybody.

Well, it doesn't

make sense to me,

but if that's the way

you want it, okay.

I know what.

You were going to the races.

Take my car then you can

make the first race.

Making your party a smash

is much more important

than the first race.

Oh, we have the menu

all worked out.

After the snails,

a Petite Marmite, and--

and then the--

- Hazel,

Mrs. McGruder

has the menu all set.

First, cream of tomato soup,

right, Mr. Ventimore?

- Right.

- Then a tossed green salad.

And next the fried chicken.

You didn't say what vegetables

you want with the chicken.

Oh, peas, carrots--

camels.

- Camels?

- Camels.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. He didn't.

Oh, no.

Oh, and you were worried.

Our old Harold is back again.

This party is gonna be a blast.

Oh, no. No.

Oh, for Pete's sake, get up.

This is not Baghdad.

It's Pasadena.

These gifts are thine

by command of our lord,

the last son

of the believing Jinn,

Fakrash-Al-Amash.

Where is the son

of the believing Jinn?

This I know not.

Well, find him and take

these gifts back to him.

Oh, most highly-born one,

we dare not disobey our master.

These are thine

and we are thine.

No, no. No.

No, bring those--

make them bring those back.

Come back with those.

Come back with those.

Welcome back

to the living, Harold.

What an inspiration. Camels.

Oh, you must have tied

on a beaut last night.

- Please.

- Where did you find them?

Stay out of this, I beg of you.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, company.

Well, well, well.

Laughing boy strikes again.

- Hi.

- And what bit of deviltry

has the Pasadena Pixie

planned this time?

A carnival on Acacia Street

or Camel Races in the Rose Bowl?

I swear to you, officers,

I have never seen those camels

before in my life.

You don't have to make excuses.

It's not a crime to buy camels,

drunk or sober.

So, they're not yours, wise guy?

Well, uh-- well--

only in a manner of speaking.

You see, uh,

there's this big camel sale,

and I, uh--

no, no.

Actually, I was in the market

for a camel's hair coat

and they sent these samples

by for me to pick one.

Start writing, Joe.

First,

interfering with traffic.

Second, get those things

out of the street now.

Yes. Yes, sir. I will.

Get the-- get the car

out of the garage.

Do you see those two men

in uniform?

They are official executioners.

If you don't move

that caravan at once,

they will boil you in oil.

Oh, where can we go,

oh, master of mercy

and benevolence?

Back there,

it's a four-camel garage.

Fifth, putting on a circus

without a license.

Officer, I-- I can explain

this whole thing.

- Yes?

- Nah, forget it.

I don't think I can explain

the explanation.

Well, maybe your lawyer

will think of something.

Sign here.

All right, folks,

the show's over.

Come on, break it up.

I'm sorry.

Hazel finally figured out

why you wanted to get rid of us.

You wanted to surprise us

with this. And we spoiled it.

I was telling those policemen

the truth.

I never saw those camels

before I looked out the window.

You mean

you don't remember seeing them.

Seymour,

how long have you known me?

Since the fifth grade.

We've played a lot of gags

on each other

but I've never lied to you,

have I?

If you did, I never caught you.

Remember the brass bottle

I brought home?

Uh-hmm.

What would you say

if I told you that

when I opened it,

a genie popped out?

I'd say,

A, you're playing games,

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