The Cable Guy Page #3

So that's how it's going to be?

You want to play rough?

Daddy can play rough!

This is like when Spock fought Kirk.

Best friends forced to do battle.

Chip, this isn't funny!

Stop it!

The name is Spock. If we don't fight

to the death, they'll kill us both.

This isn't "Star Trek".

Goodbye, Jim.

Good fight.

Keep eating!

Quickly! Muster atop your steed.

Get on the friggin' horse.

I don't think he's kidding.

- Don't do this!

- Good luck to you!

- This is our destiny!

- No, it's not!

- Yes, it is!

- No, it isn't!

Are you all right?

Well done, good sir.

You are the victor.

But we will meet again.

Did you hear that?

- You have a warrior's instinct.

- I had a real feeling of power.

If Robin had seen you,

she'd be begging you to come back.

These knights get laid all the time!

We should go again next week.

- You have no messages.

- Nobody loves you.

I left something in the living room.

Will you check it out for me?

Just a little piece of equipment.

- What do you think?

- What is all this?

It appears as if someone has updated

your home entertainment system.

I got you the big-screen TV,

deluxe karaoke machine -

- and THX quality sound that would

make George Lucas cream his pants.

- You got in here when I was out?

- How else could I get the stuff in?

- How much did all of this cost?

- Practically nothing.

I have a connection.

I hook him up, he hooks me up.

- I can't accept this.

- Why not?

You give me something more valuable.

Friendship.

You give me friendship. We're even.

You have to take this stuff back.

- Can I leave it here till Saturday.

- Sure. No problem.

Hi, this is Robin Harris. Steven

doesn't live here any more...

Hey, it's Steven.

I'm still trying to reach you...

I'm at the office. Call me.

- How's it going?

- Good.

Good.

Keep it up. It's your ass.

It's Robin on line two.

I had the best time the other night.

When will I see you again?

- How about tomorrow?

- Chip!

I knew I'd get you

on the phone that way.

Let's break the cherry

on that karaoke machine.

- What does that mean?

- Karaoke jam. No ifs, ands or buts.

Maybe a few buts.

Big ones!

You're going on a date?

We're not officially back together.

And you said time apart is good.

Yes. Time apart from each other,

but not with other people.

That's time with someone else.

- I love you, but I have to go. Bye.

- Bye.

This is just a sign

that you need to live a little.

- She's having fun. You should, too.

- Maybe you're right.

- I got you a little something.

- You said we were even.

You're breaking the rules.

What is it?

LOOSE YOUR LISP:

IN 30 DAYS

My brother thought

it might help you.

- This is... There's no words...

- It's no big deal.

Yes, it is!

It is to me.

Now I'm on a mission.

This is going to be

the best damn karaoke jam ever.

We're really bopping!

- You have some nice friends.

- They're just preferred customers.

Chick alert, two o'clock.

What a licorice!

- Don't look.

- You're just playing with me.

- She's all over you.

- Shut up.

I'd strike while the iron is hot.

He who hesitates, masturbates.

Go.

- Hey. I'm Steven.

- Heather.

- Can I get you a beer?

- How about a tequila?

Hi, Rick.

That'll be a good one.

- Glad you accepted my invitation.

- Steven invited me.

He's having a super time.

He's changing. You'll have to learn

to live with that.

I don't know what your story is,

but I'm going to find out.

Don't dig too deep. You might

get burned by the molten lava.

I'm out of here.

Thank you.

The soothing sounds of Raoul,

ladies and gentlemen.

- You had honey in your voice.

- Do a song for us.

No, I couldn't.

All right, already!

I fought the law, and the law won.

Jefferson Airplane performed

this song in "Gimme Shelter", -

- a film about how the Hell's Angels

had their way at a Stones concert.

Tonight... it's my turn.

- What do you do?

- Can we talk in the other room?

We just had a baby born

at the party.

We need an ambulance

over by the scaffolding.

Shut the door!

It's the summer of love, baby.

Let's leave these two alone.

Smile!

That's going to be a good one.

Good morning,

and how are we today?

I borrowed this sweatshirt.

Bacon and eggs, coming up.

- Where did Heather go?

- She left early this morning.

You cad.

- What a night. Just what I needed.

- I'll tell you something.

You look like a new man.

I was getting so used to rejection.

I really liked her.

It was my treat.

- What do you mean?

- You can buy next time.

- Don't let your eggs get cold.

- Buy what?

What do you mean, buy what?

The women.

Do you mean

that Heather is a prostitute?

Of course. We couldn't get

a woman like that without paying.

This can't be happening.

It's okay. She's totally clean.

I checked her out about a week ago.

To make sure she was good. And I'm

healthy as a horse... Not a drip.

- Would you like some juice?

- You're kidding. She's your friend.

- I wish I had friends like that.

- Get out of my house!

She was a working girl,

but she liked you.

You might even have got a freebie.

I don't ever want to see you again.

Robin will never forgive me.

Don't tell her.

I'll help you get her back.

I want you out of my apartment.

And get this stuff out of here.

Why are you doing this?

You're sabotaging yourself.

Out! Now!

Everything was going so well.

I made you breakfast,

and we were eating...

Out!

I'll fix this.

I can make it cool again.

This is just a speed bump!

- May I help you?

- No. I'm meeting someone here.

I apologize about last night.

I came home and I just fell asleep.

Most appreciated.

Gail tells me

you're coming out of a relationship.

- We're in a holding pattern.

- A holding pattern?

You need to come down and refuel.

You're sexy.

You've been working hard.

Take a break.

Excuse me.

What's the story with our chicken?

Have the eggs had a chance to hatch?

Maybe you can go check on it for me.

I'm sorry to put you out.

Unbelievable.

I'm hysterical now.

What were we talking about?

- What's your job like?

- It's a little crazy right now...

Wait. I need to use the head.

I want to find out about your job.

What's with the chicken?

- Enjoy your meal.

- Thank you.

- Good evening, sir.

- Hey, stretch.

- Pleasant night, isn't it?

- Yeah, not too bad.

The weather is always nice in here.

The winters are remarkably mild!

- If you need anything, let me know!

- I got it under control!

- Unbelievable.

- It's no trouble.

What is your?

People rarely take advantage of

my services. I'll help you wash up.

Cleanliness is next to godliness.

You're on a big date.

You'll need to look your best.

That'll take care of the shine.

Now, let's pluck those eyebrows!

She loves me, she loves me not.

She loves me...

...she loves me not.

A little Jose Eber...

A touch of Alfalfa...

We're ready to dry you off!

Right into the buckle.

That's got to hurt!

Suck the air.

You look just like Dizzy Gillespie.

Don't worry about the tip.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes