The Caddy Page #3

- Sure, he's a nice boy.

Come on, we fix Joe something to eat.

Yes, yes.

Harvey.

- Oh, I've seen this before.

- Goodnight, Harvey.

Not me.

Goodnight, Lisa.

Lisa, what is that?

Better get used to him, Joe.

He's going to be your brother-in-law.

That's nice.

My brother-in-law?

You want some coffee?

- Real hot coffee?

- Warm him up.

- Who makes better coffee than Mama?

- Not nobody.

- Papa sometimes.

- Here you are, all finish.

It's just like new.

Here, you, you try it on?

- There we go.

- Look good, Mama.

- How's it look, Pop?

- Very good.

- Good?

- Nice, nice.

Oh, Mama,

she's good to have Joe back?

Now, you're home, Joe,

we're gonna throw all these tables out.

Pop, here's $5. Buy yourself a new pipe.

Oh, Joe.

But, Mama, you could buy a new dress?

Hey, by the way, Pop,

what does Harvey do for a living?

Oh, he's a good boy.

He's no working now.

See?

Let's try it.

Now, take the club back slow and easy.

You should keep your head down, Lisa.

Now swing straight out

and follow through.

Will you please keep your head down?

Let me show you, Lisa.

You stand over there.

$10,000!

Hey.

What's going on here?

What're you doing?

Harvey's going to be a golf instructor.

I'm his first pupil.

Oh, Harvey, this is my brother, Joe.

- Oh, hello, Joe.

- Hi, Harvey.

- Hey, you're pretty good.

- Oh, thanks.

- He's wonderful.

- Yeah, but why teach?

Why don't you play?

You ever read the sports sections?

You can make a lot of money

in those tournaments.

- Tournaments, tournaments.

- Tournaments.

No, I can't play in front of people.

Oh, no, people make him very nervous.

He's high-strung.

Yes, I'm strung very high.

Well, you won all those trophies,

didn't you?

Oh, no, those are my father's.

Harvey Miller, Sr.

He was a great golfer.

- Are these your father's?

- No. Those are my baby shoes.

- Oh, you won these?

- No, I wore them.

- You wore them?

- Yeah, I never won anything.

- I tighten up.

- Oh, Harvey, you shouldn't tighten up.

You got to relax.

- Don't be jerky.

- I can't help it.

Wow.

Wow!

Joe, you're good, too.

You think I spend all my time

in poolrooms?

You're a natural, just like my Dad.

He won $5,000 at Pinehurst,

and $7,000 at Tam O'Shanter,

and $20,000 at Inverness,

and besides that,

there's sporting goods companies with

endorsements and exhibition games.

- Go ahead.

- I'm out of breath.

You'd make a wonderful combination.

Yeah, and there's a tournament opening

in Santa Barbara in a couple of weeks.

You could be the player

and I could be the caddy.

There's a $500 prize.

Gee, that'd buy us a lot of furniture.

It would mean work, work

and more work.

You have to bear down.

You know, I think you're running a fever.

- I'm no golfer.

- All you have to do is practice.

Hey, what's the matter?

I'm gonna get the police

and make you pay for the mess!

He's coming, he's coming.

Ma?

Ma? Will you sew a button on for me?

Harvey, hurry up with the cake.

Hurry up.

- Oh.

- Hey.

- Hey, what's going on here?

- It says "Welcome home, Joe. Amore."

- That means...

- Love.

- It's Italian. How'd you know?

- I used to work here.

Take back the cake.

He used to work here.

Home from your triumphal tour, Joe?

And this time is for good, too.

Joe, like old time,

you sing a song for Mama.

Oh, no, Mom.

Not in front of all these people.

Joe! You sing for Mama.

In Napoli where love is king

When boy meets girl

here's what they sing

When the moon hits your eye

like a big pizza pie

That's amore

When the world seems to shine

like you've had too much wine

That's amore

Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling

ting-a-ling-a-ling

And you'll sing "Vita bella"

Bravo, Joe.

Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay

tippy-tippy-tay

Like a gay tarantella

Lucky fella.

When the stars make you drool

just like pasta fagiole

That's amore

When you dance down the street

with a cloud at your feet

You're in love

When you walk in a dream

But you know

you're not dreaming, signora

Mama.

Scuzza me,

but you see, back in old Napoli

That's amore

If you still kiss your girl

after garlic and oil

That's amore?

That's amore

If you call her your pet

though she's shaped like spaghett

That's amore?

That's amore

- Bells will ring

- Ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling

- And you'll sing "Vita bella"

- Vita bella, Vita bella

- Hearts will play

- Tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay

Like a gay tarantella

Tarantella

When the stars make you drool

just like pasta fagiole

That's amore

That's amore

When you dance down the street

with a cloud at your feet

- You're in love

- You're in love

When you walk in a dream

But you know you're not dreaming

Signore

Scuzza me,

but you see, back in old Napoli

- That's amore

- That's amore

Everybody sing.

When the moon hits your eye

like a big pizza pie

- That's amore

- That's amore

When the world seems to shine

like you've had too much wine

- That's amore

- That's amore

When you walk in a dream

But you know you're not dreaming

Hey, signore.

Scuzza me, but you see

back in old Napoli

That's amore

Signore

That's amore

Oh, Joe.

Everybody sit down!

- Come on.

- It's getting cold.

You eat, you eat.

I got to make important announcement.

Tonight, I tell you,

is the finest night in the whole life

of me and Mama.

Like my papa and me,

soon there gonna be another fisherman

in the family.

Congratulations, Mama.

Do you feel all right?

Oh, Harvey. You're crazy.

We're gonna have back with us

the second most finest fisherman

in all California.

My son, Joe.

But last night I got to thinking,

old boat not big enough

for two big fishermen like us,

so I talk to Mr. Spezzato this afternoon.

And I'm proud to say

he sold me the Santa Clara.

And I give Papa a good trade-in, Joe.

What's the matter, Captain?

All we owe is $500 cash.

$500? But, Pop,

why didn't you ask me first?

But you come home.

You stop running around the country

like a hobo.

You come home for good, no?

Well, even if I did,

I don't want to be a fisherman.

Then what you gonna do?

I'm gonna play golf.

He's gonna play golf?

Golf? What's a golf?

What's a golf? I mean, what's golf?

You hit a little ball with a stick.

You don't want be a fisherman, huh?

You want to hit a little ball

with a stick? Why?

There's a lot of money in it.

Sure, Pop.

If I win a couple tournaments,

I could fish for ten years

and never make that kind of money.

And I bet you never heard

of Ben Hogan.

He won $10,000 in two days

at Pinehurst.

You want to make a living

hitting a little ball with a stick?

And Harvey's father

won $20,000 at Inverness.

And Jimmy Thomson won $5,000

at Tam O'Shanter.

Oh, they won all this money, huh?

For what?

- For hit a little ball with a stick.

- Harvey.

- Well, that's what he said.

- Well, he knows how to say it.

- Papa, Joe could be a great golfer.

- Si...

I can see it all now.

We're on the course at Pinehurst.

There's a thousand people following us.

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