The Caddy Page #4

We're ready to tee off on the last hole.

Now, I hand Joe the club.

He walks up to the ball

very nonchalantly.

He takes aim, he swings

and it's a screamer

right down the fairway.

Fore!

Then I hand him his niblick.

- What's a niblick?

- That's a littler stick.

Now, he hits the ball right up

on the green.

It's about 25 feet from the cup.

Now, if he sinks this, he beats Hogan.

He'll be the new champ.

He aims, he putts

and the ball is going right for the cup.

It's at the cup and it rims the edge

and goes around,

and around and around and around...

- But it doesn't go in.

- It don't go in?

But, wait. Hogan putts.

He hits his ball, and it knocks

Joe's ball right into the cup!

- It's in, it's in. We won.

- Sure we won. He's my son, no?

And they take him up

to the Judge's Stand

and they give him this trophy.

He's the new champion.

Then they present him

with a $10,000 check.

- Bravo.

- I take it,

and, Pop, I give you some money

to pay off the new boat.

I buy Mom a mink.

And you two send your kids to Harvard.

They'll be doctors.

You trying to kill me, Joe?

That's enough for today, Joe.

Here we are, Joe.

Let's go in and register.

Okay with me.

Hey, dig this rug.

They really live it up here, huh?

Oh, yeah, my Dad used to take me

to all these places

when I was a kid, and he said

it's very important to socialize.

So mix, mingle.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- Names, please.

This is Joe Anthony,

and I'm Harvey Miller, Jr.

Joe Anthony.

Yes, entered from San Francisco.

Uh-huh.

But I don't see any Harvey Miller, Jr.

No.

Oh, that's right. Joe's the player.

I'm his caddy.

The caddy house is next door, son.

- Oh, yes. Thank you.

- Wait a minute. We're partners.

- Lf he can't stay, I don't stay.

- Oh, no, Joe.

Will you excuse me just a second?

Now, Joe, don't worry about me.

I'll be all right.

We caddies have

an awful lot of fun together.

And you belong here and I belong there.

We'll be together.

- Thank you very much, sir.

- The caddy house is that way.

You told me before.

- I'd better go along with him.

- Take my word for it. He'll be all right.

Come on, I'll introduce you around.

Mr. Anthony, Bruce Reeber.

- How are you?

- Hi.

- Gaston Leron.

- How do you do?

- Sidney Benthall.

- How do you do?

Jonathan Preen and Harry Bell.

How are you?

- I'm Kathy Taylor.

- Hi.

Mr. Anthony is from San Francisco.

Say, if you're from San Francisco,

you must know Ted Kohler

- of Kohler, Heisler and Dodge.

- No, I don't.

Oh, but you must,

if you play at the Bay City Country Club.

I don't.

- What club do you represent up there?

- None.

- What club do you represent up there?

- None.

I know now. You played

in the Phoenix Open, didn't you?

- No.

- Anthony. Anthony. San Francisco.

- What business is your family in?

- Fish.

Importing or exporting?

- Catching.

- Oh.

I beg your pardon,

I would like to know if I could...

I beg your pardon, I would...

I beg your pardon!

I'm sorry.

I would like to know

if I can have a locker.

Hey, you're quite a tomboy, aren't you?

- Oh, yeah?

- Oh, yeah?

Well, sticks and stones will

break my bones,

and names'll never harm me.

- Could I have a locker?

- Yeah, down that way, buddy.

- Thank you, sir. You're a gentleman.

- Thank you.

Come on, we got a pigeon. Come on.

Well, look at skinny-boy.

- Is it alive?

- You get out of here!

- All right.

- No, it's not.

Oh, brother.

Boo.

Go on, get out of here!

Go ahead.

Hello, fellas.

Wise guy.

Smart aleck.

Soap.

Towel. Towel.

Towel. Towel.

- I didn't even finish.

- I didn't even enter.

Won't you...

Hey, buddy, you got a towel?

Somebody took mine.

Oh, thanks.

You got awful small caddies here.

I got soap in my eyes.

I went over to get some water

and there wasn't any.

It's murder when you get soap

in your eyes

and you can't get to the water to wash

and I'm in my...

- Young man!

- I know, it's this way.

Oh, that kid! I love him! He...

Those of you who tuned in late,

this is Tom Harmon

reporting on the Santa Barbara Open,

with Joe Anthony...

Again, Papa.

I told you we need a new one.

You wait. I make fix. Work like a charm.

Joe Anthony approaches the ball.

His caddy is down behind the ball,

lining it up on his stomach.

He goes over to the golf bag,

- gets out a whisk broom.

- Wait one second, Joe.

- He starts to brush a path to the cup.

- Take it easy now.

Harvey? Will you

get out of the way, Harv?

Anthony waits very patiently.

He's now by the hole

and he's lining up the...

It's about two feet on your right.

Don't be nervous.

He approaches the ball.

He putts.

There it goes. It's rolling, rolling.

It goes round and round and in!

Attaboy, Joe!

Nice going, Anthony, old boy.

- Nice putt, Joe.

- Congratulations.

- We'll see you at the party, Kathy?

- I'll be there.

Oh, Mr. Anthony,

won't you join us at the party?

- Well...

- No?

- Yes.

- Hey, Joe, you were absolutely...

- Oh, very nice officialing, sir.

- Yes.

Will you get out of here?

Oh, all right.

I don't want to disturb anything, Joe,

so I'll see you back at the...

At the home.

- You thought I was going to say motel.

- Okay, goodbye, Harvey.

Nice round, Mr. Anthony.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

- Give us one more, Joe.

- Turn on the charm, Mr. Anthony.

Give them the full force

of your personality.

Fine.

"Welcome Home, Champ."

Wonder who that's for?

Oh, that's for Joe.

We gotta celebrate, don't we?

- Joe! Hi.

- Hi.

- That smells good.

- It is good.

Just like Mama makes. She taught me.

"For Joe." Hey, what is this?

Open it up, Joe.

- Oh, a new cap.

- No, that was my Dad's.

- But it's yours now.

- Thanks.

Try it on.

- Fits just like a glove.

- It sure does. Thanks, Harvey.

Oh, that's okay.

And here's something else.

I want you to have this.

My Dad won this at Inverness.

You know the old saying

"money comes to money,"

- maybe cups will come to cups.

- Thank you.

That's all right.

- Yeah, but I have a party...

- Yeah, it is sort of like a party, Joe,

and I got the wide noodles

you like so well.

No, you shouldn't have gone

to all this trouble.

Oh, it's all right, Joe.

A man that's under pressure

should have things he likes.

And it's good for the stomach, too.

After this, we'll have a couple of scoops

of that terrific chocolate crunch

ice cream and we'll hit the sack.

Yeah, but Kathy Taylor invited me

to the club dance.

Kathy Taylor?

Kathy Taylor.

Oh, that nice girl from the country club.

Oh, yes.

Oh, no! You can't go out, Joe.

You're in training.

Well, all the other fellows are going.

Well, gee, Joe. I'm supposed

to be your manager, isn't that right?

Yeah.

And I'm supposed to specify

whether you can go out or not.

Sure.

Oh, Harvey, I wouldn't do anything

to hurt our chances.

You'll dance until your legs are wobbly.

You're right. I'll sit out every dance.

That's twice as tiring.

Oh, Harvey, I'll be home early.

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