The Carer Page #5

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Thank you very much. Thank you.

And just for future reference,

my name is Peter.

He seems a nice man.

- Who?

- George.

He's a pub landlord.

They're written that way.

It's like saying Romeo is good

at chatting up the girls,

Hamlet is a bit indecisive,

and Lear is a grumpy old fart.

They say your Lear

was absolutely terrific.

From the heart, born to play it.

All right. All right.

- Where's my change?

- No change.

I gave him a tip.

Quite right.

Can't have them saying I'm mean.

As I walk along the Bois de Boulogne

With an independent air

You can hear the girls declare

"He must be a Millionaire."

You can hear them sigh

and wish to die

You can see them wink the other eye

At the man who broke

the bank at Monte Carlo

[DOROTTYA GASPS]

[SIR MICHAEL SHOUTS]

[LAUGHING]

- (DOROTTYA) Are you okay?

- (JOSEPH) Oh, my God!

Sir Michael!

What's happened?

Come along. Oh, dear.

- He only had one drink.

- (MILLY) Michael, are you all right?

What the hell is going on?

Michael!

How dare you take him out of the house!

- I'm sorry.

- Sorry?

- (MILLY) Is that all you've got to say?

- Oh, dear. It's all right.

What has he had to drink?

Whiskey and soda.

That's what he wanted.

Whatever appalling training you

might've had, surely you know

not to give alcohol

to a patient on medication.

Whether he wants it or not!

Maybe not. But when have you

seen Michael this happy?

"Sir Michael" to you!

Michael, did you fall out?

Okay, I'll take it

from here. I'll take it.

[SIR MICHAEL LAUGHING]

[RUSTLING]

[PHONE RINGING] Ugh.

- Will you answer that?

- It's probably another bloody reporter.

Tell them to piss off.

He's not going, he's

not making any comment,

and he won't be posing

for any photographs.

Hello, this is Sir Michael

Gifford's residence.

I'm sorry but Sir Michael

can't come to...

Yes.

Yes, hello, Mrs. Henderson.

No, I'm afraid Sir Michael can't

come to the phone right now.

It's me, Dorottya.

I can pass the message on.

I'll let you know.

Okay. Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Who is Mrs. Henderson?

She's the administrator at the

London School of Dramatic Arts.

And why does she know you?

Because I applied there.

And I had to give them some

kind of an address, right?

Right.

[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]

[SIGHS]

Wonderful day.

So, you started writing your memoirs?

Not at all.

This is my speech.

- What speech?

- For the award thingy.

You're not serious.

I've never been more serious in my life.

You know, Milly, I've always

wanted to say that line.

And in my entire career

I never once did.

But, Michael, they're not expecting you.

Well, then they're in

for a pleasant surprise.

You can't possibly be serious.

Ah!

I've never been more serious...

What does Sophia say?

Well, when I tell her, she'll

be against it, of course.

Not that I give a f***.

And Dorottya?

Oh, wildly enthusiastic

about the idea.

In fact, when I think about it,

she might have even suggested

it in the first place.

Mad.

Mad. Mad. Mad.

"When the wind is southerly she

knows a hawk from a handsaw."

Do you know a hawk from a handsaw?

[GROANS] I doubt it.

Afternoon, miss.

Afternoon.

Afternoon.

You wanted to see me.

Why here?

Because I don't want you in the house.

This meeting is to end your employment.

What?

I want you out.

Out of the house,

out of my father's life.

- But why?

- I don't want to discuss it.

My decision is final.

I've taken legal advice, and if

you ever go near my father again,

I will call the police

and get a restraining order.

But I don't understand,

what have I done wrong?

You've been ingratiating yourself with

my father ever since you moved in.

That's my job.

Telling him how great he is, how

he's still fit to be seen in public.

- The award?

- Exactly.

It was like a dying request.

How could I refuse?

You put it in his head.

I'm sure Dorottya means well, Sophia.

But I must say, we're really very

disappointed in you, Dorottya.

You know better than anyone what

could happen to him on stage.

What if his bladder were to give way?

Or his bowels?

Alastair, please.

- Didn't you ever stop to consider that?

- Of course I did.

But when I saw how much he wanted it,

I thought it was worth the risk.

(ALASTAIR) Worth the risk?

Of a great actor being remembered for

a catastrophic last performance?

There's nothing the world

loves more than a car crash.

Milly has already packed your things,

and Joseph has them in the car outside.

He'll take you back to the nursing home.

This is what we owe you.

And one week extra.

And remember your

confidentiality agreement.

If you go to the press I will sue

you for everything you've got.

- Everything I've got?

- This and the two suitcases in the car.

Well, good luck with that.

- You think I was wrong, don't you?

- No.

You did what you thought was right.

I did what he wanted.

We both know, he'd never

have got through it.

So you think he should

just get used to dying?

After a certain age,

that's what life is.

Getting used to things.

Not for him.

[CLEARS THROAT]

- Well, what is it?

- Daddy, we have to talk.

Where's Dorottya?

She should have been back

from the village hours ago.

That's what we've come to talk about.

Dorottya's gone.

- What do you mean, gone?

- I've sacked her.

What?

What f***ing right had you

to do such a thing?

What right? May I remind you,

I was the one who hired her.

And may I remind you,

this is my house!

And in my house,

even in my f***ing garden,

I make the decisions. Me.

- If I may just...

- Alastair, not now.

You don't realize.

Dorottya is not what she seems.

She is thoroughly untrustable.

"Detested kite! Thou liest!"

"My train are men of choice

and rarest parts."

"That all particulars of duty know."

"O, Lear."

"Lear!"

Really, Daddy.

You're not helping matters by...

"Lear!"

"Hear, Nature, hear,

"dear goddess, hear!

"Suspend thy purpose

"if thou didst intend to

make this creature fruitful!

"Into her womb convey sterility.

"Dry up in her the organs of increase,

"And from her derogate body never spring."

"A babe to honor her."

"If she must teem,

create her child of spleen,

"that it may live to be a thwart

disnatured torment to her!"

"That she may feel how sharper

than a serpent's tooth it is"

"to have a thankless child."

[GASPING]

[SIRENS BLARING]

Thank God you're here.

He's still unconscious.

Joseph! Where the hell has he gone to?

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[SIREN WAILING]

(DOROTTYA) Joseph, please stop the car.

I'll just get out here.

Are you going to be all right, miss?

Yes.

You're not sure, are you?

Where would you like to go, miss?

Of course, his blood pressure

was already very high

and he'd worked himself up

into quite a state.

Based upon his bloods,

I think we can rule out a TIA.

Parkinson's is a complicating

factor, of course.

- Yeah.

- But he's stable now, under sedation.

- You gave him propofol?

- Only a low dose.

By the way, I must ask,

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