The Cat in the Hat Page #4

Conrad, Sally. Sally, Conrad.

I am the Cat.

Don't belittle me.

Ah, yes, of course.

Thing Two would like to

clarify that just because

he wears the number two...

does not imply in any way

that he's inferior to Thing One.

And all of the above.

He says you may feel free

to call him Thing "A," if you like.

He will also accept Super Thing,

Thing King, Kid Dynamite,

Chocolate Thun-Da...

or Ben.

Ben!

Thing One says

he's Thing One for a reason,

and some people

should just get used to it.

It's a Thing thing.

You wouldn't understand.

Okay, enough!

You are quickly turning into

one of my least favorite Things.

Listen, Convex,

you probably don't

wanna do that.

Why not?

It's just a crate.

This isn't just any old crate.

It's the Trans-dimensional

Transportolator.

It's kinda like a doorway

which leads from this world

to my world.

But it says,

"Made in the Philippines."

Yes, but not this Philippines.

Look, now,

I'm not usually a rules guy,

but this is a biggie.

No opening the crate.

No lookee, no touchee.

Got it?

Mekka-dekka we should

settle our differences.

Things, front and center!

Cool.

All right, Things,

I'm not paying you to

stand around and look pretty.

Here's Mom's dress.

Oh! Mommy's dress!

- What about the couch?

- Which couch?

The clean one,

or the horribly stained one?

Ho!

Mekka-dekka

don't worry!

Incoming!

Cat, they're wrecking

the whole house!

- Conrad, help!

- Help yourself!

Look at me!

Come and get it!

Whoa! Ooh, yeah! Whoa!

That tickles!

Geronimo!

Mine, mine, mine!

Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!

Ride 'em, cowboy!

Yee-hee-hee! Ho-ho-ho! Whee!

If this were my house,

I'd be furious.

Hey! Klondike!

Do you have any idea

what happened to the lock

on this crate?

- It's on Nevins's collar.

- Nevins?

Nevins? Nevins!

Put the dog down!

I said, put the dog down!

Why won't they

listen to me?

Oh. I don't know if this helps,

but the Things always do

the opposite of what you say.

Why do they always

do the opposite?

That's so annoying!

Remind you of anyone,

Conrad?

Zinga!

Zinga! Zinga!

Blue! 41! Set!

Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!

Hey, Thing,

don't let go of that dog!

Let go!

Catch him...

I mean, don't catch him!

Well, this is just great, Conrad.

The whole house is destroyed,

the party is ruined,

and now Nevins is gone.

Sally, Kojak,

that's nothing compared

to what's gonna happen

if we don't lock this crate.

Take a look.

It's already leaking.

- It won't stay shut.

- Not without the lock.

Look, if we don't get that lock off of Nevins

and put it back on this crate,

we're gonna be staring down

the business end

of the mother of all messes.

We've gotta go out

and find Nevins.

Impossible! Sally!

There's only four hours

till the party.

The Fish is right.

We should call Mom

and tell her what happened.

Look at this house!

There's no way we could

explain this to Mom.

We gotta get Nevins back

and lock the crate!

We're staying and calling Mom.

We're going and getting the dog.

There is a third option.

There is?

Yes. It involves...

murder!

- That's your option?

- No.

But you guys both had options.

I just wanted to have one too.

Or did I?

- Cat, you're not helping!

- Come on. Let's go get that dog.

Now, we just need

a heavy, inanimate object

to weigh down this crate.

There. That oughta

buy us some time.

Come on, kids!

Let's go, go, go!

Identical sister Mitzy...

That's right.

- Yeah!

What do you want now?

Repo.

You're repossessing my TV?

I'm sure I made a payment.

If it's about that bounced check,

let me give you a credit card.

That one's expired.

Huh? Oh, come on!

With the lock on his collar,

Nevins kept running,

unaware of his part...

in the evil Quinn's cunning.

Joan Walden Real Estate.

Be it ever so humble, there's no...

Oh, hi, Joan.

The kids let the dog

out again.

You're kidding.

Don't worry. I'll go get him,

then we'll have a conversation

vis-a-vis military school.

I don't know.

Conrad's like you, Lawrence.

He's very... sensitive.

Uh-huh.

But I suppose it's something

I should consider.

I'll get the dog.

I'll be right over.

Okay, there's Nevins.

Stay out of sight.

I thought the moment

needed something.

Oh, what will become of us?

Your mother will lose her job,

and we'll have to...

live on the street!

I can't! Don't make me go...

I don't know this world!

It's dry! It's like...

I can't... It's too...

Fish!

It's too much!

Would you like to go back

in the toilet?

On second thought,

it's such a beautiful day.

Why spend it indoors?

- Thank you!

Okay, kids.

Get out of my way.

This fence is no match

for my cat-like grace and reflexes.

Here we go.

Ow. Okay.

Watch me fly, kids.

Ow!

I don't think

the little girl's even trying.

What about your

cat-like... reflexes?

What about showing a little effort,

shrimp boat? Now, push!

Whaa!

All right, Nevins.

Time to die.

- Cat, you scared him away!

Dirty hoe.

I'm sorry, baby.

I love you. Hmm.

Come on, Cat!

There he is!

Happy birthday, Denise.

Denise?

Everyone I know

is there.

There's Ginny and Alan.

How come Denise didn't

invite me to her birthday?

Don't worry. Lets just

get Nevins and go.

Okay, kids.

Everyone outside!

Aaah!

Nevins.

Cat, get down!

They're gonna see you!

Hide!

Piata! Piata! Piata!

Piata! Piata!

Piata! Piata!

- Everybody join in!

It's breaking!

Step out of my way.

This cannot end well.

- Piata! Piata!

@I'm easy @

@Ah, ah, ah, ah @

@I'm easy

like Sunday morning @@

Oh-ho-ho! Whoo!

- Oh! Whoo-hoo!

- I got an idea.

Candy!

Candy!

No!

Get back!

Cat!

I'll get you!

I'd love to buy some.

Hello, Mrs. Kwan.

Its Joan Walden.

I just called

to check on the kids.

Are they okay?

Those aren't children.

They're little angels.

That's sweet.

Well, all right, Mrs. Kwan.

I'll be home as soon as I can.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

All right, soldier.

Our bogey is in range.

Commence

search and destroy.

- What?

- Search and rescue.

I meant search and rescue.

Come on!

I can't believe I wasn't

invited to that party.

Hey!

You're a lone wolf.

Live alone, die alone.

Yeah.

- Can we please get the dog?

Can we please get the dog?

Can we please get the dog?

Boo!

Oh, no! Oh, man!

Hello, Nevins.

Good-bye, Conrad.

Not so tough now,

are you?

We're dead.

We're never gonna get

that crate shut.

And I'm getting shipped off

to Colonel Von Kronk's School

for Wayward Boys!

Why don't we

take my car?

You have a car?

Yeah, sure.

Wow.

That is so cool.

That's just

the dust cover.

Here she is, the Super Luxurious

Omnidirectional Whatchamajigger.

Or S.L.O.W. For short.

S.L.O.W.?

Yeah, SLOW.

It's better than the last name we had.

Super Hydraulic

Instantaneous Transporter.

- Oh, you mean...

- Ohh! Quick, to the SLOW.

Buckle up, kids.

We're on a mission to get that dog,

and we will not rest

until we find and destroy it.

Rescue it!

Rescue it! Of course

I meant rescue it.

Whatever. Remember, kids,

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