The Client List Page #5

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Y'all, why is this always empty?

Sam, you got a new guy in 2,

and Number 4's still waiting.

Well, the last guy was in real estate,

and he wouldn't stop crying.

I'm sorry. Two seconds,

and I'll be right there.

Well, I'm sorry, but I gotta know.

What can she be doing

that we're not?

I mean, there's only so

many places to put things

and so many things

to put in them.

Pecan sandies with

crushed hazelnuts?

I can't believe you remembered.

Of course I did.

Your Aunt Julie used to make them

for you when you went to Alabama.

Amazing. My wife can't even

remember how I like my eggs.

Scrambled. With hot sauce.

Now, did Ruth-Ann

get that part?

What the what?

She wanted the princess role,

but got the funny fairy godmother.

Well...

you just tell her that the funny parts

are the ones everyone remembers.

Bingo.

Lay on down.

Yes, ma'am.

Brandy, you could have been killed.

Yeah, well, I'm just having

a hard time staying awake.

I can't have my favorite girl

falling asleep at the wheel.

Is that what I think it is?

It'll keep you going. Works for me.

Well, no offense,

but I've never even tried weed,

and I don't wanna do anything wrong

or highly illegal.

More than I'm doing right now.

Well, it's there if you need it.

See you next week, Brandy.

Looking forward to it.

Wake up, Mama.

Mama.

Wake up.

Mama.

Uh...

Hey. Mama's gonna turn in early.

Just brush your teeth

and say your prayers, okay?

But you can't sleep.

Tomorrow's the bake sale,

remember?

What?

We're raising money for the fur.

For the fur?

Yeah, it's a country that's in trouble.

Oh, you mean Darfur.

I guess.

The bake sale's a castle theme.

I come up with the idea.

Mama? Are you listening?

Yeah.

I'm up.

I'm up.

Okay, I can do this.

I'm a good mother.

This is what good mothers do.

All right.

'With the gray fondant

make castle turrets.

With the green fondant,

place pieces into the mountain

and with a piping-'

Wake up, Sam.

Oh, I'm tired.

Okay.

What does that say?

Well, what do y'all think?

Wow, Mama, it's perfect.

Wow.

You must have been up all night.

I was, but it's done.

And you can move the chocolate

drawbridge and the moat is fudge.

Okay, y'all get ready.

Hey.

You're a great mom.

Bye.

Sam, honey,

your next client's here.

He's got a flight to catch.

Hey, Sam, you okay?

Yeah, I'll be there in a minute.

All right, doll.

It's really a

show you won't wanna miss.

The most memorable women

of the season dish dirt

and tell stories

that we want to hear.

Sam, you look thin.

Not again.

You've lost weight.

Yeah? You've gained weight.

Samantha Dale Horton.

You can comment on my weight,

but I can't comment on yours?

Because it's rude.

Yup, it is.

Wait a minute, he's about

to give her the flower.

I say he picks the one

with the bigger chest.

You say that every year.

And I'm gonna keep saying it

until I'm wrong.

Mama, are you gonna get

more Coke?

What did you just say?

I want one too.

I'll hike a beer.

Can I please just go to the bathroom?

She okay, you think?

She gets that

from my people.

The women got bladders

the size of peas.

Hey, Brandy.

Hey, you gotta help me.

I'm out, and I'm desperate.

It's gonna hike me a few days.

My guy's out of town.

Okay, well, can't you just call him?

Or someone else, please?

I'll make it worth your while.

Well, darling, now we're talking.

Yeah, I got it.

Sample, Waiting Room 1, got it.

But, Mama, I don't want to.

Well, you're gonna have to.

That's how doctors look for stuff.

Like what?

I don't know, the kind of

stuff they find in your pee.

But I don't have to go.

You're gonna have to try.

I can't.

Yes, you can.

I can't.

I'll turn on the water.

That doesn't help. I can't.

Try.

Stop saying it! Do you hear me?

Stop it.

Stop saying it! Stop saying it!

Stop saying it!

Okay, Mama, I'll do it. I'll try.

Oh, my God, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Mama's just having

a bad day, okay?

Go on out to the waiting room.

I'm gonna be right there.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Not tonight.

I just can't.

You okay, Brandy?

The last few weeks,

you seem kind of different.

Yeah, sure, baby, I'm fine.

You want anything special today

or just the usual?

No, the usual's just fine, Brandy.

Hey, remember I was telling you

that my in-laws are in town?

Yeah, Aline and Tim

from Chattanooga.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, they get here and-

You mind if we just

get this going?

A little less talking?

I guess so.

I got a session in here.

Session's over, ma'am.

Cuff them.

Well, her, anyway.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be

used against you in a court of law.

Police!

Get down!

What the heck is going on here?

Y'all have been fine with us for years.

Yeah, one of you's been

real fine with us.

Listen, Jacie, we don't like this

any better than you do.

Oh, is that right?

We got meth labs

popping up all over town.

We wanna occupy ourselves with a couple

of old boys getting happy endings?

It's hilarious, isn't it?

You call your sergeant right now,

and you tell him to put a stop to this.

Yeah, and tell him Doreen says hi.

This is coming from way above him.

The media got here before we did.

We have orders to search

the premises.

Search away,

ain't gonna find nothing.

We got this.

Come on, now.

Come on.

Carry that thing, son.

Don't go out of bounds, cut upfield.

You played with him

at UT, right?

Yeah. He didn't used to be

contact-shy.

We interrupt this

program to bring you breaking news

of e police raid currently in progress

in Lareena-

They better have just got

Saddam Hussein.

They already got him, idiot.

Well, then the other one, then.

As you can see,

going on behind me right now

is a major bust of an alleged

prostitution and drug ring.

Apparently, there has been

e months-long surveillance probe

conducted by Mayor Summerlin.

All pert of her campaign promise

to bring law and order to Lareena.

Summerlin is in

a very tight re-election race

and no doubt

she hopes an event like this

will help to put her over the edge.

Now we can see the police are starting

to bring out some of the alleged johns.

The poor bastards.

Ho-ho-ho.

What, do they charge by the pound?

You don't have to shake

the sheets to find her.

The name of the establishment

is the Kind Touch Health Spa,

but locals here say

they've long known that...

Oh, my gosh.

Phil, turn that off now.

-becoming quite e show

for the whole neighborhood.

We'll keep you updated.

Okay, now we're talking.

Shut up.

-along with the alleged prostitutes.

Of course,

they will be held separately.

The big question tonight is-

Hey, Rex, she looks kind

of like your wife, doesn't she?

I said, shut up.

We do hope to hear from the mayor

end the police chief for more details.

They'll be holding

a press conference

and of course wow bring that to you

as .soon as it happens.

I knew it would end like this.

Dee, please.

No, you bail someone out of jail,

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