The Comebacks Page #5
Ooh, what a move!
He's to the 30, the 20, the 10!
Another Titans touchdown.
Are you kidding me?
Let's go get the quarterback!
Let's go!
Yeah, I get it.
You're gonna kill me.
Wha-What's this part?
Oh, that means
he's gonna fist you too.
Time's ticking down,
and we're still tied.
It all rests in the hands
of quarterback Lance Truman.
Blue 20.
Blue 20. Hut!
He drops back.
They're going long!
Juanson's wide open.
- He makes the catch.
- That's the way!
Hot damn, he's on fire.
Touchdown! The Comebacks win!
The Comebacks win!
Whoo-Hah!
Oh, gee.
Oh, di, do, do, di, do.
Whoo, you like that,
you big baby, don't you?
- Take it like a man.
- All right!
Heck of a job
out there today!
- Except for Randy.
Aww...
You had no part in the victory.
You added nothing.
Coach, can I play
in the next game?
I'll toss your salad.
Please tell me you're gonna start
chopping up lettuce and tomatoes.
I'll salute your flagpole.
Please tell me
you're a patriot.
I'll pack your fudge.
Please tell me you're
a confectioner's assistant.
Oh, no. I really meant I was gonna
pack your fudge and toss your salad.
All right, listen.
I want you all
to go out and celebrate.
Tear it up.
Explore your bodies.
Lather up your nethers,
get 'em wet, sticky. Shave it.
Go out and get yourself
a venereal disease,
Whatever it is you kids
are into these days.
All right, get in here.
S.T.D.'S on three.
- One, two, three.
- S.T.D.'S.
The strippers are here.
Bling-Bling.
Bling-Bling, baby.
Yo, what took
you so long, ese?
Stuff isn't easy to find
this time of night.
What's up, 'Seel?
That's some good sh*t.
Yeah... Now I can eat
my Fruity Flakes.
I'll be right back.
Hey, Blue Crush,
where you been?
Catching some waves.
I'm a total hard-Core
surfer chick.
At night?
In the middle of Texas?
I told you... I'm hard-Core.
What's that?
I'm writing
my local congressman,
Because I'm worried about
the rapidly decaying future
Of Social Security.
During a party? Why?
Because everyone's
labeled me rebellious,
So I'm rebelling
against the rebellious label
By being conscientious
in rebellion.
Duh.
Michelle, I can't stop
thinking about you.
That night when we kissed,
and I...
Bobbled your boobies...
I don't want to talk about it.
Why not?
Why won't you give me a chance?
Because if we went out,
You'd pick me up, we'd
drive out to the lake,
Have a little picnic,
some wine,
We'd lay out on
a blanket and ball.
And ball, ball,
ball, ball, ball.
We'd do it over and over
for hours and hours.
And I would ride you so hard
You wouldn't be able
to walk for weeks.
We'd do it every day.
All the time.
Always trying new things
And different positions.
Then we'd get married,
Move into a nice house
and have kids.
Two vacations a year.
One on a beach, and one
most likely in Europe,
With the occasional
Africa or Asia.
Second home on a lake,
early retirement.
Never tiring of
each other's bodies
Or lessening
the frequency of sex.
Well, excuse me.
But that is not the type
of life that I would want.
That sounded pretty good to me.
Especially the balling part.
Hmm.
You know what, Michelle?
I bet, under that tough
exterior of yours,
Under all that self-Tanner
and macrame bikini,
There's something
very warm and soft.
And pink.
Probably smells a little bit,
but not too much.
I am not going to let you
sweet-Talk me, Lance Truman.
Fine.
I hope you are kidding me.
A study group.
Please tell me
This is some kind of a joke.
Calculus.
Shakespeare?
You all signed a contract.
What are you trying to do?
Ruin your season
before it even begins, huh?
No, Coach. We're simply
trying to keep up our G.P.A.S.
Oh, is that what you call it?
Mm-Hmm. You make me sick,
all of you.
Now, I was hoping...
That you kids would
have the gumption
To do this on your own.
But, apparently,
I'm gonna have to
take you by the friggin' hand.
You won a football game!
Everybody knows that after
you win a football game
You're supposed to consume
alcohol at a dangerous rate!
Ah!
You should be
popping ecstasy, man!
Oh, yeah,
and huffin' some paint!
What's the color?
Good times.
Yeah.
Look at me now, man.
Yeah, I brought all these
illegal drugs to the party...
In my fake Louis Vuitton bag
that's chock-Full
Of pirated DVDs
I got down in Chinatown.
Who cares, man?
I'm just having some fun,
because I won a football game.
Yeah! I'm a huge
drug-Pushing drug guy.
Check me out.
Gotta have some more of that.
That's the right spot.
Now I'm crazy wasted
with a bunch of minors
And I'm taking off
all my clothes.
Yeah, it's cool, man.
I'm a football player.
That's what we do!
Ow!
It's the cops!
You'll never take me alive.
Freeze, tighty-Whities!
Oh, come on.
You have got to be kidding me.
You can do it! Come on!
Get it! Get it!
Get it!
Aw! I'm sorry, Clint.
I couldn't get it
unstuck either.
Well, thanks for trying.
I should just ask for another one,
- But that piece goes so well with the room.
- Mm-Hmm.
It does coordinate nicely
with those throw pillows.
- Wanna have sex again?
- No, I'm good.
- Who are you?
- I'm the warden.
You can go free
If you beat me in hoops...
- One on one.
- Hoops?
Me likey.
I feel I should warn you.
I was the leading scorer
of the Jewish community center
Bitty-Boy's Basketball League
three years straight.
Well, I think I'm gonna
spare you the humiliation
And just wait to be bailed out.
Psst!
Are you sure you
don't want to cuddle?
And so, Coach called the only man
He knew he could
always count on.
The man who had been by his
side through everything.
The only man he knew
he could trust.
His partner, his rock, the wind
beneath his wings-Me.
Thanks for coming, Freddie.
How long before
you can get me out?
I'm not going to be
able to do that, Coach.
What? Why?
It was right about then
that Coach Fields
Realized something was afoot.
His old friend Freddie
had betrayed him
And orchestrated a most
nefarious scheme
- That would allow Freddie...
- Why you talking like that?
Ooh, my bad.
But now you know, Coach.
The reason why I wanted you to
be head coach of the Comebacks
Is because I'm head coach
Of the Lone Star State Unbeatables.
Coach of the number one
team in the conference.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I want it to stay that way.
See, I knew the Comebacks
had a shot this year.
And I also knew, if I could
talk you back into coaching
They'd sink like a stone,
Because that's what you do, Coach-
You lose!
You bastard.
How could you?
Freddie decided
it was time to go.
As for Coach, he had
bigger things to worry about.
Why, just this morning,
He banged the wife
of the guy sitting next to him.
Come on, Turbo.
That's impossible.
I'm in here with you.
I'll get you for this!
Send a message to the warden.
I'll take him up
on his little offer.
Your interpersonal skills are horrible.
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"The Comebacks" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_comebacks_5795>.
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