The Court Jester Page #4

Who did what to what?

Oh, they all did, sire. There

they were in the dark;

The Duke with his dagger, the Douge

with his dart, Duchess with her dirk.

Duchess with her dirk?

- Yes!

The Duchess dove at the Duke just

when the Duke dove at the Douge.

Now the Duke ducked, the Douge

dodged, and the Duchess didn't.

So the Duke got the Duchess, the Duchess

got the Douge, and the Douge got the Duke!

Curious. I... I... hm?

What? What's that?

All I heard was that the Duchess had a

siege of rheumatism. She's 83, you know.

Oh, come next summer, sire.

So's the Duke.

- So's the Duke.

Remarkable, those Italians, what?

Made the whole thing

up, didn't you? Ho ha.

Very witty, very clever.

Just what this court needs

Laughter, gaiety, songs,

wenches... oh, yes. Wenches.

I'm just on my way to

inspect the lot of them.

Who knows, I may

find some luscious...

Oh, sire.

If I may suggest, it ill befits the

propriety of your high office

to be seen with these

unkempt wenches. - Wha...?

It is said the incomparable Giacomo

has a discerning eye for beauty.

Eh, why not let him select a

suitable companion for your majesty?

Excellent! Excellent!

I trust the jester's reputation is based

on many years of accomplishment?

Why do you think they call

me incomparable, sire? Get it?

Got it. - Good.

Bring her to my chambers.

Within the hour?

Within the hour.

Finish with the king and

come to my chambers.

Within the hour.

Eh, about that song, sir...

Some other time, my good man.

Yes, Fergus, get on

with your work!

The good captain will escort you

to your quarters. - Very well.

Are you sure we

haven't met before?

Quite sure.

Within the hour.

Your Giacomo seems more

the fool than the assassin.

Or perchance a brilliant

combination of both.

We shall see.

I'm Giacomo, Giacomo,

my fame before me rings,

king of jesters,

and jester of kings!

What are you doing here?

I'm Fergus, the Ostler.

Whobis the whatsler?

Fergus the Ostler. It is I, not

Ravenhurst who is your friend.

Look, my good man, you pick

your friends and I shall pick mine.

At the moment, I have a very

important mission with the king.

After all, I'm the incomparable Giacomo,

king of jesters and jester of kings.

I have entertained in

all the courts of Europe

and speak a ready wit in their

every tongue. Uh who are you?

I am Griselda.

Gruhwhoolda?

Griselda. I bring you a

message from the princess.

Uh, the royal princess?

She finds you most attractive

and would like to meet you.

M-m-me? - Yes.

She finds you passing

fair, passing graceful.

Oh, uh, tell her thank you very

much but I'm just passing through.

One does not ordinarily

refuse princesses...

Well, one doesn't

ordinarily, but you see...

Is it possible there's someone

else of whom you are fond?

Uh y-yes, as a matter

of fact there is.

Giacomo, would you

look in my eye?

Eye?

Yes, it's been troubling me,

and I thought that the great Giacomo

would have a knowledge of science.

Eh s-science. Well, yes,

as a matter of fact I have a

great deal of scientific knowledge.

We have b-b-which eye?

Both. Look at them both.

Closer, closer. Deeper,

deeper. Deeper, deeper.

Tails of lizards, ears of swine,

chicken gizzards soaked in brine,

now thine eyes and mine

entwine, thy will is broken,

thou are mine!

Repeat after me. I am

craven and thou art my master!

I am craven and

thou art my master!

Stand there, fool.

- Stand there, fool.

Silence! - Silence!

You are in my power and

will obey my every command.

Every command...

And remember,

any time I choose,

a mere snap of my fingers can

bring you out of the spell like this!

And back like that!

Do you understand, fool?

Yes, master. You can snap

me in and snap me out.

Now, listen closely.

First and foremost, you must

convince the girl that this is a miracle,

that you have been

sent here by the gods.

To do that, you must go

to her room and make love!

Go and make love

to the princess!

The princess...

At once! Wait!

Not like that!

You are a figure of romance;

of spirit and action, but at the

same time humble and tender.

You are a man of iron

with the soul of a poet.

You are adventurous, gay, but

with a lovers brooding melancholy,

and above all, you

must show passion!

Show passion!

Not me, you fool!

Now go. Make love.

Climb the vine to the tower

where your love awaits you! Stop!

Above all, remember you

must be cavalier, dashing!

Fear not, master!

Once I'm up the thorny vine,

the regal maiden shall be mine.

Fear not, master!

Hawkins!

You got here!

Well of course I got

here, my silly little goose!

Thank heaven.

Ah-cha-cha, you'll have to

wait your turn like the others!

Good, good, you're doing it well.

But have you heard the

change of plan? Here, take this.

I just told you, dear, you'll

just have to wait your turn.

Now don't overdo it.

Fergus will bring you the infant.

Huh?

Well, well, Giacomo.

Successful so soon?

Truly as dainty a dish as

ever was set before a king.

About your business, I would

have a word with the maid.

Your majesty.

What is your name, child?

Jean, sire.

Jean. Lovely name.

For a lovely face.

See that she is

jeweled and gowned.

She shall sit next to me

at the banquet, tonight.

You! You've come!

At your service, my lady.

So this is Giacomo!

King of jesters

and jester of kings.

Not today, m'lady.

Today I am Giacomo,

a lover of beauty,

and a beauty of a lover.

Can this be true?

Or is it merely a dream?

Dream? Is this a dream?

Or this? Or this? Or this?

Or this? Or this?

No, no, no, we are

strangers, hardly met.

What manner of man

are you, Giacomo?

What manner of man

is Giacomo? Ha ha!

I shall tell you what

manner of man is he.

He lives for a sigh,

he dies for a kiss,

he lusts for the laugh, ha!

He never walks

when he can leap!

he never flees

when he can fight.

He swoons at the

beauty of a rose.

And I offer myself

to you, all of me.

My heart. My lips.

My legs. My calves.

Do what you will..

my love endures.

Beat me. Kick me.

I am yours.

Oh, Giacomo,

you are so ardent!

With your permission, my lady,

I'd like to go 'round again.

Oh, no, Giacomo,

we must be discreet.

Ha! Discretion is for

fools and simpletons!

This cannot be! Miracles

are things of fancy,

and lovers are not

sent by the gods.

Speak not too

lightly, my love.

Who are we to say

nay to miracles?

But one doesn't find love

in one moment, one kiss..

that key? Where

did you find it?

Key? - It is a miracle!

The gods who sent you have also

provided a means for our escape.

This is the key to the

secret passageway.

Grand. We leave at

midnight. Get it?

Got it. - Good.

Very good.

Oh no, my precious,

I'll keep it next to my heart;

a sweet symbol of your love.

And take this, a

sweet symbol of mine.

I'll wear it always

next to my heart.

Gwendolyn?

Are you there? I would

have words with you?

My father. You must hide!

Hide? Giacomo

hides for no man!

But you must! He'd kill any

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