The D Train Page #5

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I mean, what if

the deal falls through or somethin'?

I mean, we haven't even

signed the paperwork yet.

No, no, no. It's as good as done.

I'm a very good judge of people,

and I trust Drazen.

- Yeah, I do, too...

-And guess what?

I sent Dale Harkin an email.

Get the f*** out of here.

I did. I told him about the Drazen deal,

and I told him

about what's going on here

and he wants another meeting.

0h, man, you scored.

Danny, I am so proud of you, bucko.

- Thanks. (CHUCKLES)

-Come on, enjoy. This is for you.

You feel good? Hmm?

Yeah, I'm startin' to feel good.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

What's this?

Dan, ah, let mejust start

by suckin' a little sh*t here.

Lawless RSVP'd.

And then a bunch of others RSVP'd.

Yeah, and I've turned several "noes"

into "maybes."

SeVSrm n

nfigsy

Now "maybes" 'cause of you, your plan.

Well, you know' thanks' guys, but...

We doubted you, pal.

We wanna apologize for that.

Should wejust

skip lhis bullshit and go celebrate?

- Yeah. Yeah, we should.

-Yeah.

- WOMAN 1:
Yes.

-All right, yeah.

JERRY:
I'm buying

drinks tonight, and we're gonna drink...

-0h, yeah.

-I think you should do it, dude.

Great job, Dan.

Look at you, big man.

CRAIG:
So, walk us through it.

How did you do it?

You go out there. You give him a

call. He answers, you say what?

Yeah, tell us how you turned him, Dan.

You know,

it was a very delicate dance, guys.

It was just, I think, you know,

the key was makin' it

seem like it was his idea.

How?

- How?

-Exactly.

Yeah, how exactly did you do that?

You know, I don't even

really remember it.

I just sort of flipped the script.

Sort of like a reverse psychology

and a subtle ihing I did,

then all of a sudden

he was eatin' out of the palm of my hand.

Oh!

"Dude, when is it, D... Slice.

What do I wear?

lwas like, "Calm down.

"It's not for a few weeks.

We'll be in touch.

But, f***, he's been

blowin' me up ever since.

(ALL CHEERING)

(BOTH MOANING)

- STACEYI Whoa!

-DAN:
Yeah.

- STACEYI Whoa!

-(DAN GRU NTS)

- DAN:
Yeah. Yeah.

-(STACEY PANTING)

- STACEY:
Oh, wow!

-DAN:
Ah!

- DAN:
Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?

-STACEY:
Wow!

(STACEY SIGHS)

We should do that more often.

Well, what are those?

Oh, uh, CK.

Boxer brief hybrid. You like?

Yeah, they are really cute.

Look at that tush.

(GROANS)

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Just the cutest...

So, Heather, you like Zach, huh?

- Dad?

-I do.

Mmm-hmm.

What do you like about him?

Well, lthink he's funny.

He's smart.

Super hot.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Dad, ihe phone?

Zach, I know. I'm getting it.

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

What's up, dude? My son's in the car.

What's goin' on, dawg? You get my VM?

- OLIVER:
No, man, Idon't check those.

-Oh, cool.

Hey, Mr. Lawless,

I love your commercial.

- Who's that?

- Okay, just hang on one sec, Oliver.

Get out of the car, both of you.

- But why?

- J ust for a second.

I'm gonna finish the call,

then you can get back in.

- Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

-All right, All righi.

You put the child lock on.

- God!

-(CAR DOOR RATFLES)

ZACH:
Thank you.

And close the door,

close the door behind you.

Close the door.

Sorry about that. Where were we?

I have no idea.

0h, yeah, I know, the reunion.

Yeah, what do you think?

Should we bail'?

Bail? Why? No, man, I'm down.

Yeah, I could be down. I could be down.

It's just...

My head keeps on

going back to when we were out in LA

partying and saying

how f***ing stupid it was, right?

I mean, you even

said there's no way you would go.

You remember sayin' that?

Yeah, but then you kind of sold me

on it. I mean, Holly James.

Thought it'd be fun

to crash with you and Stacey.

Ooh, yeah. lfsjust...

Do we have the room, the baby...

No, worries. I 'll just stay at Craig's.

0h, you guys talked?

Yeah, he said he's got plenty of room.

You know what?

I'm sure we can make it happen.

Have you stay wiih us.

Unless that's weird.

No, why would that be weird?

Yeah. No, it's not.

(SMACKING LIPS)

All right, man, either way.

- Or yeah, just the way we just said.

-(LINE DISCONNECTS)

Hello?

Okay. Okay, All right.

Come on. Let's go. Lefs go!

Come on, guys!

There he is.

See my sign? Like I'm your driver.

- Where are we? Which way?

-This way.

All right,

I'll just put it over here if anyone needs it.

- Care if I smoke?

-Not at all. God, no. Ah!

Please, go on ahead. Mind if I bum one?

I mean, unless you're low.

Thank you, kindly.

Ah.

Make yourself comfonable, yeah.

All right.

Hey, real quick, just to clear up any...

What happened in LA,

if we could just keep that...

Oh.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.

-Cool.

I mean, I don't even know what that...

- Dan, it's in ihe past.

-Hmm.

Let's have a fun weekend.

Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely.

That's where we did.

Where else were we gonna hang out?

Dan, I don't know how you did it, man,

but you bagged yourself a good one.

Yeah, I had a huge crush on her.

- What?

-Okay.

You didn't.

OLIVER:
Come on, you knew.

- STACEY:
No.

-Yeah, you knew.

I would stare at you

every day in that class that we had.

- Remember with the freak teacher?

-Oh, yes.

He wore his f***ing pants up to here.

STACEY:
Right, what was his name?

Yeah.

- Mil someihing.

-Milman?

- Oh!

-Milton. Jesus.

- Dad, can I ask you something?

-Yeah, yeah.

In a bit, Zach.

- Milburk?

-Milhorn.

- Milhorn.

-Milhorn.

- Yes.

-Yeah.

(LAUGHING) That's right. Milhorn.

The memories... With the pants.

Milhorn.

Were you in that class?

We had that other class

together, remember, too?

Which one was that?

Um...

I don't know, man.

Drama. That's what it was.

And that teacher was a character.

- Was she?

-What was her name?

Spicer.

Yes, Spicer, thank you.

It's amazing.

She remembers all the things.

Okay, I have to ask you something.

- Jenny Lehmer.

-Oh, God.

She said that you guys hooked up.

ls that true?

Let me tell you

what happened with Jenny.

Uh-oh!

She's, like, always

passin' me these notes...

-lt's Heather. She's maybe too fast.

-Shh!

She follows me into the locker room.

- Oh, sh*t.

-She told me about the locker room.

-L'm getting ready to get to the crazy sh*t.

-Uh-oh.

She wants to have sex

and she wants it to be a threesome.

- What do I do?

-Zach, not now.

What's the matter?

-Nothing. Zach's just...

It's fine. What's the resi of the...

Zach? ls he upset?

- I don't know.

-ls he all right?

I'll go check on him.

DAN:
No, honey, Olivers mid-story.

STACEY:
Zach?

I can tell that story anytime.

It's no big deal.

STACEY:
Zach?

- Honey? Are you crying?

-(DOOR SLAMS)

Zach is really upset.

You should talk to him.

It's the girl stuff.

He doesn't wanna talk to me about it.

Okay, lwill.

So, what was up

with the whole Spicer thing?

What?

You came in with the name right away.

What are you talking about?

You guys were tryin'

to think of Milhorn's name

going back and forth,

but then when Oliver

and I were tryin'

to do the drama teacher,

you just came out and said it.

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