The Disaster Artist Page #3

---

Babyface.

Okay, Mom...

-Babyface?

-It's a long drive.

Oh, my God.

Look at me.

It's gonna be fine.

-But...

-I'll be fine.

I'm gonna call you

right when I get in, okay?

She crazy.

Tommy, shut up!

Wow.

Hit it

Yeah

Whoo

Yeah

Whoo

Yeah

Whoo

Yeah

Whoo

See?

Almost to Los Angeles.

Oh, sh*t.

That downtown?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

One, two, three,

Get loose now

It takes two to make

It-It-It It takes two to make

It-It-It It takes two

It-It takes two

It-It takes two to make

It-It-It It takes two to make

Home sweet home.

It's not castle, but...

it's okay.

It just my pied--terre.

It's perfect, man.

Yah.

Is it um...

just uh, the one bedroom?

You don't want to

share bed with me?

Uh, um...

I just joking!

Ha

Ha ha

Ha ha ha

Ha ha ha ha

Ha ha ha ha ha

Oh, my God.

You should have

seen your face.

You got me.

Don't worry,

you take bedroom.

No. No, Tommy, no.

I just maybe put up

some curtain...

make a little room

in corner or something.

No, Tommy, no way,

I'll take the couch.

-This is great, I swear.

- No, no, no.

No, no, I insist, I insist.

I want you to be my guest, like...

Beauty and Beast.

I will be Beauty, of course.

Of course.

Oh, man.

Man, you've had this place

this whole time?

Yeah.

I... I had it

several years now.

A-and you never wanted to like

move down here yourself and-

and give acting a real shot?

Well, I never had friend

to do it with before.

Come on,

I want to show you best part.

-Come on.

-Yeah, yeah.

Look.

There it is.

It's incredible, man.

Yah.

We are doing this.

We're doing this!

Tomorrow...

this will all be yours, Greg.

Ah! We will own you, L.A.!

Watch out, here we come!

You will know our names!

You feel it, baby?

Oooh

I can too

Oooh

Bom bom bam bam bum

Bom bom bam bam bum

Oooh

Bom bom bam bam bum

Bom bom bam bam bum

Oooh

Bom bom bam bam bum

Come on, swing it.

Come on, swing it.

Okay, too much wind machine.

Blow me away, by God!

It's such a good vibration

It's such a sweet sensation

It's such a good vibration

It's such a sweet sensation

See you soon.

Yeah, it's about that time

So, are we the first agency

you met with?

Uh, yeah.

Oh, wow, these are great.

Oh, thanks, man.

Yeah, these are great.

Are you funny?

Yes, yeah.

'Cause you should get a

character head shot.

Yes, no, yeah, show

my comedic side.

Yeah, just one or two, but...

You know?

Gain weight?

-Would you do that for a role?

-Hundred percent.

And then immediately lose it.

Yeah, you know what? I'm...

Whatever I need to do, right?

Yeah.

One second.

Uh, could you get Iris

in here for a second?

Yes, sir.

Thank you so much.

Yes, sir.

Where's the fire?

Hey, I'm uh, I'm Greg.

Well.

Stand up.

Okay.

You want me to turn?

Hmm.

What's with the dyed hair?

Frosted tips.

I'd, I can--I'm not

married to it. I can--

Okay.

You seein' anybody else?

I, uh, no, I wasn't-

I wasn't planning.

No. You're mine.

You got it?

Yeah, no, uh.

Good bubbie.

Sign him up.

I like this one.

Welcome to Iris Burton agency.

Congratulations.

Okay.

Wow, you got agent, Greg!

It's celebration!

So you must

tell me everything.

What do you mean?

The acting business.

How to become

big star like you.

Big star?

Tommy, I'm not a star.

Okay, so modest, this guy.

Come on, you're on your way.

I have to try to think

of where to start.

I need agent?

Yeah, but that's kinda

the hardest part.

You already have agent, right?

Yeah.

Okay, so you just

tell agent about me.

This is the rhythm

of the night

You know what?

That could work.

I've never...

Oh, my God!

Love this song!

Yeah, you...

I have to dance, Greg.

Yeah, dude,

do what you gotta do.

God, come on!

Oh, no, no, no.

-Come on.

-Not me, not me.

I'm like the

goofiest dancer.

-You have to do it.

-No, please.

Don't worry, I'm great dancer.

Come on!

No.

Oh, my God.

What? Wow.

This is the rhythm

of the night

The night

Hey, do you need another?

Vodka soda?

Uh, yes, please, thank you.

Your friend is...

unique.

Yeah, yeah, he's uh...

That's a good word for it.

Dude, have I seen you

some place before?

I don't know. I uh,

I'm an actor.

I know, you're always at that uh,

Poquito Mas in the valley.

I'll tell you, next time,

next time you see me there

you should come over

and say hello.

or whatever.

Or you could just

give me a call.

My name is Amber.

Greg!

Come on, let go.

Just one...

This bar no good.

I guess we are going.

But uh, thank you anyways

for the drink.

Oh, yeah, this one's

on me, man.

Come on, this bar suck.

Okay, I should be uh,

Okay, yeah, all right.

-All right, bye. Bye.

-See you. Talk to you soon.

You're crashin'.

Come on, senator!

Stay with me.

I ain't losin' you tonight.

We're losing him.

God dammit!

Rule to my class are simple.

Work hard.

Show up on time.

Try not fall asleep, everybody.

Any question for a start?

It sounds like you're doing...

Am I hearing an accent?

Uh, no, no, what do you mean?

'Cause I'm hearing a kinda

eastern European accent.

Nah, that, uh, that's from

New Orleans.

Where? What?

New Orleans, you heard?

You know?

Where?

The Big Easy?

Oh, New Orleans!

I thought, I didn't know

what you were saying.

Okay, yeah, well...

Can we just try to

lose the accent?

Take it again.

The rules to the class

are simple.

Work hard.

Show up on time.

Try not to fall asleep.

Any question for a start?

Um, I think...

that about does her.

Well, I've been watching you.

Watching me?

I auditioned for that part.

That guy?

Yeah.

You're way more

attractive than that guy.

Yeah?

I'm back.

Tommy, hey!

Hey.

Who's this?

Uh, this is Amber,

who I was telling you about.

Oh, girlfriend.

Um...

I don't-I don't know, um...

Okay. Well, I don't have

time for this.

I'm very busy right now.

I have to change

really quickly and go.

Okay. Is-is everything all right?

Yeah, everything

great on my end.

You heard of

Konstantin Stanislavski?

Of course, yeah, he's like

the greatest acting

teacher of all time.

Yeah, and now he Tommy

acting teacher.

He seen something special

in me, you know, maybe

you know, I become big star.

So I have first

class this evening.

I'm pretty sure

Stanislavski's dead.

No, he not dead.

I just speak to him,

for your information.

What, you think I speak to ghost?

-No.

-No.

Maybe ghost real,

but I can't talk to them.

-Hey, no, Tommy, Tommy,

-Sorry.

-We're happy for you.

-I'm sorry.

That's exciting.

Okay, I let you know

how it is, babyface.

Maybe you can join me some day.

Maybe I will.

Not so busy.

Sorry.

Did he call you babyface?

Having girlfriend over,

watching Gilmore Girls.

Whatever.

Love...

is not love.

Which alters

when alteration finds.

Stop. Stop!

What e-uh, exactly

were you doing there?

Uh, this sonnet.

You know sonnet?

Yeah, I know what a sonnet is.

But I think what I'm asking is

why on earth would you choose

to do that uh, here today?

I do the Shakespeare.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes