The Disaster Artist Page #8

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That's how it is.

So now, you know.

Next time you make laughter,

"Ha ha ha ha ha,"

I don't care who you are,

you're out on street.

What about me?

Am I still fired?

All right. I give you

one more chance.

Take three's up.

Let's go.

Make sure you see my ass.

-See you at the car?

-'Kay.

Tommy?

Tommy, we're leaving.

I feel like um...

I feel like we should

at least talk about this.

Look at my arm.

Not bad.

Look like big strong kid.

Yeah, man.

All right, I'll uh, I'll see ya.

I haven't seen any water.

I'm pretty sure that's illegal.

Yeah, f*** this place.

There's no AC in here.

Too f***ing cheap.

Nobody wants to help me.

And I'm dying.

Hey, it's like a hundred

f***ing degrees in here.

He show up yet?

No. I wish.

Hey, guys, if he doesn't

get in here soon,

I just say we call lunch.

What do you say?

-Lunch!

-Yeah.

-You wanna just keep rehearsing?

-Sure, sure.

Um, you're not dying, Mom.

I got the results

of the tests back.

I definitely have breast cancer.

Hi, everybody.

Oh.

Hey...

-Ready.

-You're here.

Here camera.

Okay, you ready?

Where have you been, man?

Where have I been? You know.

Just getting ready my apartment.

I live there alone now.

-Tommy?

-Got a question?

Does this come back?

What are, why, what

is she talking about?

The storyline.

The breast cancer.

Breast cancer?

No, it's twist.

So, it never comes back?

I don't have time to explain

script to you right now, okay?

What is this?

This makeup. You look like

you're swimming in lake.

It's a hundred degrees in here.

Makeup!

Tommy, if you're not gonna

pay for air conditioning,

you at least have

to pay for water.

Could we maybe just have a little

bit of water before the scene? I...

Okay, I stop you. I stop

everybody right there, okay?

Nobody in Hollywood will

give you water either,

-okay?

-That's not true.

Dude, we can't work like this.

Well, I'm not

Santa Claus, all right?

Maybe you go buy water

for everybody, Greg!

Okay?

Maybe girlfriend bring you

some water or something.

We gotta get going, okay.

We're already four hours behind.

Okay, well, whose fault that?

Yours.

Uh, my fault?

You're late every goddamn day.

All right, that your five cents.

I'm f***ing director.

Exactly.

Exactly!

Exactly!

Exactly!

Turn these lights on, right now!

If I turn on the lights,

it's getting hotter.

Be professional, do your job!

You do your job!

Tommy, it's hot enough as is!

Greg, so you know

about light too?

Huh? You know everything.

You know water, light, girlfriend.

Oh, my God!

Carolyn has fainted!

Oh, my God!

Tommy, please get some water?

Tommy, get the f***ing water!

Come on!

Carolyn?

What she doing? Taking nap?

She's not taking a f***ing

nap, you f***ing idiot!

She passed out!

-She's dead?

-She's not dead.

No, I can feel her heartbeat.

It's not 'cause water,

it's 'cause she's old lady.

Tommy, please!

You know what?

That's it!

I'm pullin' the plug!

Turn off the lights!

Open the doors!

That's lunch!

We're coolin' it out in here.

She okay? Could

we get the medic?

Turn off these lights!

Best thing I could

say about this,

is nobody will ever see this.

Would you walk?

We can walk off this...

I'm just tired, is all.

I haven't been sleeping

well recently.

I'll be fine.

Hey, can I ask you something?

Why-why do you do it?

You have a husband,

and grandkids.

You live about fifty

miles from here.

And you're waking up at 5 a.m.

to drive all this way,

for what?

We're actors, Greg.

You and me, people like us...

even the worst day

on a movie set

is better than the best day

anywhere else.

Hey, Greg.

Can we ask you something?

Yeah.

What is this movie about?

I have a theory.

Oh?

It's autobiographical.

Someone in his life was

a Denny, a kid brother,

he's looking out for.

Someone was a Mark,

the better looking friend

he was always jealous of.

I'm sure there was a Michelle

and a Mike.

So, does that mean

that there's a Lisa?

Somebody who broke his heart,

and stabbed him in the back,

and ruined his life?

Well, that's pretty

obvious to me.

That's the universe.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's Bryan f***ing Cranston!

Oh, hey, I know him.

Well, yeah, no sh*t.

Malcom in the Middle.

No, from pilates.

-Bryan!

-Wait, what are you--wait.

-Hi!

-Amber! How are you?

-So good to see you.

-You too.

-You too.

-This is my boyfriend, Greg.

Hi, Greg, how are you?

Good, yeah.

Greg is also an actor.

-You are? Cool.

-Yeah.

Anything I would

have seen you in?

No, I d-doubt it.

You know, it's a journey.

Are you working on

anything at the moment?

Yeah, yeah, actually,

I'm-I'm doing this movie.

-Movie? Nice.

-Yeah.

Yeah, but, you know, I'd love

to do TV at some point.

Yeah, you know, the sitcoms,

drama, cop shows.

Yeah, y-you name it,

I would do it.

It's funny you mentioned

that 'cause, um...

I'm directing an episode

of Malcolm right now.

Next week, we're shooting this

scene where the boys get lost.

And Hal and Lois have to

go find them in the woods.

And we're having trouble

finding this...

lumberjack

role.

And you got this...

this beard.

What do you think? You wanna-

You wanna do it?

Uh, tuh, are you-are

you serious?

Yeah, well, you know,

everybody needs a break.

Oh, are you good?

-I should've asked you that first.

-Yes, yes, yes, no.

He's very good.

I'm sorry, I'm freaking out

a little bit! I'm just...

I'm a big fan.

It's like, it's crazy!

All right, all right.

You and the beard, next

Tuesday and Wednesday.

I will be there.

-Hey, nice to see you.

-Nice to see you!

-Thank you, man, seriously, that's...

-You're welcome, you're welcome.

-See you next week.

-Thanks!

Thanks again.

Okay. I'm set.

Action.

Aaah!

Go to hell, wall!

Aaah!

Aaah!

Aah.

Aah, why?

Why?

Why is this happening to me?

Why?

God...

forgive me.

Oh...

Why is he getting back up?

Cut.

No, don't cut! Don't cut!

Why you cut, Sandy?

This is great.

This is real acting.

If you're gonna writhe

around with a dress,

maybe do it before you

shoot yourself in the head

and blow your brains out.

I disagree.

We go!

Okay, still rolling, here we go.

And action.

Aaaggh...

Aaah.

Aaggh!

Oh...

Aaggh!

I wanted to keep that dress.

You can never

wear that dress.

Aaggh!

Aaggh!

Aaggh!

Okay, now I do kill part.

Oh, great, yeah,

let's cover that again.

Give me countdown.

Three-two-one-bang.

Wow.

And cut!

Think we got it.

I guess so, yeah.

Get me a C-stand

over there, please?

Dude, that was

amazing, man.

You think so?

Totally, yeah, it was-it was

raw and intense and...

Yeah you really

brought it, man, seriously.

Thank you.

So, uh, so listen, I-I know-I know

this is last minute, but um...

just wanted to talk to you

about something real quick.

What is it, Greg? You can see

I'm very busy right now.

Yeah, um, so-so you know how the

beard-shaving scene is tomorrow?

Yeah, I know the schedule.

Right. Um, so, I was just,

I was hoping that we could

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