The Disaster Artist Page #7

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when it's working or not.

and it's... it's really working.

-Good.

-Yeah.

I used to know a girl,

she had a dozen guys.

One of them found out about it,

beat her up so bad,

she ended up at a hospital

in Guerrero Street.

Ha ha ha ha.

What a story, Mark.

Cut!

Why is he laughing?

-I have no idea.

-Weird time to laugh.

Uh!

Why don't we go

one more time? And uh...

Let's just get a different

reaction to the story, okay? Uh...

Let's uh, let's roll

with tail slate.

-Rolling.

-'Kay.

Everyone set?

-Yeah.

-Ready...

And, uh, action.

I used to know a girl,

she had a dozen guys.

One of them found out about it,

beat her up so bad,

she ended up at a hospital

in Guerrero Street.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

What a story, Mark.

Cut!

Oh, God.

Uh.

Hey, uh...

So...

the story he's telling you...

the one you... yourself wrote...

Yeah?

It's not a funny story, Tommy.

Yeah, I thought-I thought this

was a serious scene, Tommy?

-Yeah, why are you laughing?

-Okay.

Well, some-sometimes people

do crazy things, right?

Human behavior.

Okay, fair enough.

Maybe just get one...

where you don't laugh

at the story, okay?

Okay.

Okay.

-Okay?

-Yeah.

Uh.

Okay, we still rolling?

-Still rolling.

-Cameras set.

Okay, we'll pick it up.

-Go.

-All right. Set the speed.

Ready, and, action.

I used to know a girl,

she had a dozen guys.

One of them found out about it,

beat her up so bad,

she ended up at a hospital

in Guerrero Street.

Ha ha ha!

What a story, Mark.

Cut!

He's not gonna listen to you.

We're gonna be here all night.

Just call it.

All right, cut, check it.

Great. I think we got it.

Okay, great.

Check gate.

It's human behavior.

He knows nothing

about filmmaking.

He's a complete idiot.

I don't even think

he's seen a movie.

Clearly never been

on a set before.

What? Have you ever heard

of someone producing, directing...

This guys doesn't know anything,

talking all the time...

Who gives this guy money?

Oh, I don't even

wanna get into that,

that's something

going for a probe.

Oh, wow.

I love burrito.

Uh, Tommy, so, um...

the reason we

brought you here...

is uh, because w-we've

been talking, and...

we decided that we want

to move in together.

Oh.

I sorry.

Impossible.

I have no room for

three people my place.

Oh, no, that's-that's not

what I mean. Um...

No, Greg is gonna

move in with me.

Yeah.

What?

Well, y-you know, we've been

going out for a little while now.

It just kinda felt like the

right next step, you know.

-The right time.

-The right time. Exactly.

What about movie?

What about it?

What the...

Living together and the movie have

nothing to do with each other.

Oh.

Tommy, I-I'll see you on Monday.

I'll be there.

I have to go to bathroom.

Wait, Tommy, Tommy...

Dude, just-just

'cause I'm moving out

doesn't mean we're not gonna

see each other anymore.

He's all right, babe.

-It could have been worse, I guess.

-Yeah.

Aaaah!

Aaah!

Aah!

Aah!

Everybody betray me!

Aah!

Oh, my foot.

I hurt my foot.

Just another day at the office.

Can you not?

Right now?

I need more lights over here.

You help him.

You too, you too.

-Back me up.

-Greg?

I need this look like "Titanic."

-The Titanic?

-Yeah, that one.

Yeah, yeah, trust me, it does.

Okay.

-Okay, we go.

-Tommy, Tommy.

This is not necessary.

No, very necessary.

I need to show my ass

to sell this movie.

Maybe uh,

at least we have a close set?

Not closed set, open set.

Life is not closed set.

I want everyone to see.

You especially.

What? Why? What?

Brad Pitt do this

in "The Legend of the Falls."

Juliette, are you okay?

Could we maybe just put on some

music to get in the mood, like...

-No.

-maybe a little Alicia Keys?

I'm sorry, we're not here to

promote other people's work.

All right?

We go!

-Okay, roll it!

-Roll it.

Wait, wait, cut, cut!

What is this?

What is this?

This disgusting.

It's my body.

No, this pimples on the...

Makeup!

Makeup, come fix

this disgusting body.

Tommy, what the f***?

Juliette, I'm so sorry!

I'm so--

Dude, w-what are you doing?

Why are you acting like this?

This American movie,

she need to look sexy.

-Beautiful.

-Come here.

God!

F***, man.

I know I'm hard on her.

Yeah, you're har--it's not just that.

What's going on with you?

Stanley Kubrick, he nice to actors?

Alfred Hitchcock?

Let me tell you something, Greg.

He do this movie, "Birds."

Yeah, I'm aware of The Birds.

On this movie,

he terrify actors.

He locked them in room.

He throw-he throw

birds at them.

Real birds!

Th-Th-Th...

Nasty stuff.

The actors,

they cry every day.

But this movie

win every award.

Is Mr. Hitchcock bad man?

No. He great director.

Yeah, but he was an a**hole.

And I bet he didn't direct

with his f***ing dick out!

Oh, really? Well, maybe we

check the record, okay?

-Okay.

-And you know,

for your information,

word "director" come from

"dictator." Rest my case.

You can't treat them like--

This is not right!

I treat them

how I treat them.

If anyone needs to be upset

here, it's me, quite frankly.

-What?

-I give them job.

I give them salary.

I already spend five million

dollar on this movie, Greg!

Five! Are you kidding me?

Five million dollars?!

And they are not grateful!

Nobody respect my vision!

I know what they say, Greg.

I hear them.

Nobody trusts me.

Not even you, Greg!

That's-- What are you?

Oh, see, you don't even trust me!

-What? Hey, Tommy!

-Let's go!

-Let's go!

-Be nice to her!

-Juliette, let's go.

-Be nice to her.

Let's go, please.

I'm a professional, I'm okay.

If you're not comfortable,

tell me, okay?

I can do it. It's fine.

-All right, roll it.

-It's a movie.

Ready.

And action.

Oh, my--

I think you're aiming

a little bit high.

I aim where I aim.

Just do the scene.

Why is he having sex

with her belly button?

He knows where her

vagina is, right?

Okay, cut!

I need more passion.

And this, it's still disgusting.

You go clean it.

F*** that! Okay!

-You embarrass that girl

-Whoa, whoa, whoa,

-in front of the entire crew...

-whoa, whoa, whoa...

you're a dead man!

-Oh, really?

-Can I do my job now?

Oh, really I'm dead man?

I'm dead man?

Everyone-everyone calm down.

Jesus, come on, come on.

Juliette, you need a break.

Take a break.

-I'm okay.

-She okay.

-Well, I need a break.

-Then you're fired!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, hey, hey.

I know what you say.

I hear you.

And you, and you.

-I hear everybody.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What the f***

are you talking about?

Where Markus?

Markus!

This Mar--film now.

This Markus, I hire him

do documentary

"The Making of The Room."

He capture every comment.

"Oh, yeah, Tommy weird."

"Tommy like Frankenstein."

"He like, he like vampire rapist."

I hear everything.

I have ears everywhere.

I hear your whispers

in your souls.

You're on my planet.

Okay?

Wait, wait, so you've been

spying on your entire production?

Yeah, that's right.

That's f***ing crazy!

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