The Divorcee Page #5

Oh, Ted, don't.

We both made a horrible mistake

but that doesn't mean we can't try again.

Try again?

With all our friends laughing at me?

- Laughing at you?

- Yes.

Someplace among the people

we know, there's a man.

Maybe men, I don't know.

But from now on, I'll wonder which one.

And how many of them

are laughing at me?

Well, couldn't I have said that

the day you asked me to marry you?

Supposing I had said,

"No, Ted. I'm afraid I may meet

the women that you've known. "

And why not? I waited for you.

You were my first love.

But this is entirely different.

All right, then,

but tonight I come back here,

ready to humiliate myself,

beg for your forgiveness.

Ready to forgive you anything

because I love you.

And you say that's different?

- You tell me your vanity is hurt?

- Oh, call it anything you like.

Vanity! I'll never forget that.

Let's not talk anymore about it.

And I thought your heart

was breaking like mine.

But instead, you tell me your man's pride

can't stand the gaffe.

- Now, wait a minute, Jerry. Listen...

- No, I don't want to listen.

I'm glad I discovered there's more

than one man in the world

while I'm young and they want me.

Believe me,

I'm not missing anything from now on.

I don't doubt it.

Once a woman throws down her fences...

Oh, print it on a motto and hang it

where Janice can see it.

- Stop that!

- Oh, loose women, great,

- but not in the home, eh, Ted?

- Cut it, do you hear?

The looser they are, the more they get.

The best in the world. No responsibility!

Well, my dear, I'm gonna find out

how they do it.

So look for me in the future

where the prim roses grow

and pack your man's pride with the rest.

And from now on, you're the only man

in the world that my door is closed to.

That is all.

Counsel will prepare the decree.

This decree is interlocutory

and becomes final in three months.

Congratulations, my darling, you're free.

You're exactly as you were

before you were married.

Exactly.

All I need is a complete set

of young illusions

and an innocent expression.

Oh, cheer up.

I had a very good time as an ex-wife.

Why shouldn't you?

- All men are fair game.

- Yes, but I guess there's only one...

Oh, nonsense.

I'll show you a flock of them.

Friends of Bill's. They're as rich as mud.

In a year, you'll have forgotten

the color of Ted's hair.

- I hope so.

- My dear, I know so.

All right, Helen.

From now on,

I take all the hurdles, see all the scenery

and listen to the band play.

Come along.

- Ted.

- Yeah?

I just want to wish you a happy New Year.

Thank you. Same to you.

Don't let me keep you from your friend.

Oh, I couldn't think of accepting

such a valuable gift.

But, my dear, my feeling for you

is purely platonic.

Really? I've heard of platonic love,

but I didn't know there was such a thing

as platonic jewelry.

My dear, Jerry.

You American women are so cold.

Are you sure you can tell

whether a woman is cold or careful?

Uh-uh.

I don't understand French,

but I know the symptoms

of high blood pressure in any language.

Aw.

By the way, Jerry,

I see your husband around quite a lot.

Oh, yeah?

Well, the next time you see him,

you tell him I'm still holding my own.

I didn't know

you had a husband, Jerry.

I had, but I haven't.

Let's drink to his health, the infernal fool.

When you have grown old,

you will be very, very sorry.

Yes, I know.

I shall most likely push back the gray hair,

curse at the wrinkles,

and say, "You did not allow

the great Ivan to make love to you,

"and now look at you. "

Jerry, darling,

what you need is a great romance.

Oh, one more would be the death of me.

What are you doing in my train, anyway?

International peace conference at Boston.

Stop off a day or so.

It might amuse you, eh?

Why not?

Two reasons.

One, I am, after all, a businesswoman

on my way to a convention in Toronto.

And the other reason?

You are much too fascinating.

Jerry, darling, I have madly loved you

for a year or so.

What you feel for me is not love.

It's the call of the gorilla to its mate.

Funny picture.

Ivan swinging through the tree tops.

Oh, am I cramping your style?

- I am serious.

- Oh, you mean you're proposing to me?

Jerry, you are too clever to be provincial.

Much too clever.

Do I not interest you?

- Possibly.

- Tell me the truth.

The truth?

The last thing any man wants to hear

from any woman.

That's a lesson I learned from my husband.

And what you learn

at your husband's knee,

you never forget.

You shall not amuse yourself with me.

Only the bell saved me. Come in.

Porter, will you open the window?

It seems a bit warm in here.

Yes, ma'am.

- That's all, ma'am?

- Yes, that's all. Thank you.

Yes.

Oh.

Why, Paul. Come in here!

Hello, Jerry. How are you?

Oh, it's so long since I've seen you.

You should have a long gray beard.

Not at all. I just happen to catch

a glimpse of you through the door.

Oh, do you know...

Oh, how do you do?

I met you once at the press club.

Yes, of course.

Well, listen, what are you doing up

so late and so far from home?

Oh, you are old friends, eh?

Oh, yes, we're very old friends.

In fact, I'm the man she should've married.

But that would have been

not so fortunate for some of us.

Yes, I'd have been particular

about some of her friends.

- I beg your pardon?

- Why...

Pardon me. I have so many things

to talk over with Paul.

Will you excuse us a few moments, Ivan?

Just a few moments?

Mmm-hmm.

Look here, young man.

I've been bumped five times

between New Haven and Springfield

and it's got to stop.

Sorry.

Rather dangerous playmate, isn't he?

Oh, well, perhaps that's

what makes him amusing.

- Paul, I am so glad to see you.

- Then you haven't forgotten me?

Far from it.

In fact, I'm trembling like a leaf.

You bring back so much, so suddenly.

You've been trying to forget quite a lot,

haven't you, Jerry?

- Who told you that?

- Oh, nobody.

I've been around New York

most of the time.

Oh.

And heard the echo of my misdeeds

as I thundered up and down Broadway?

Why haven't I seen you?

I understand several

were killed in the rush.

Well, you don't exactly take the veil

when your decree is granted, you know.

- So I understand.

- Oh, that sounds disapproving.

What should an ex-wife do?

Spend her days doing good deeds?

Going to bed at night with suitable books?

Great Scott, Jerry. I'm not criticizing.

Why, whatever you do,

as far as I'm concerned,

is all right, because you do it.

That's sweet of you, Paul.

Where are you bound for?

- Away from New York.

- Oh, yeah?

Tomorrow will find me on my boat

in some quiet little cove.

No office, no telephone, no neighbors.

It's good for the nerves.

You ought to try something

like that, Jerry. It'd do you good.

Sounds wonderful.

But not for me.

It's too late for that sort of thing.

I've worked too hard and played too hard.

I take my outings in the subway

and my exercise in the nightclub.

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