The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie! Page #3

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Robot Animation Eraser Lady!

l.S.R.A.E.L.? Why the f*** is it on

our land when we already live here?

To destroy you all! Now hurry!

(GASPS)

Prepare to be erased.

Run!

(ALL SCREAMlNG)

ALL:
Aahh!

Holy sh*t!

l.S.R.A.E.L. must kill you all!

Wait, wait, l'm sure

we can work something out!

I.S.R.A.E.L. must be

aggressive to survive!

lt's a common sense policy.

Come on, y'all! To the mystery van!

(ALL YELLlNG)

(MECHANlCAL LAUGHTER)

(GASPS) Molly!

She's still in the living room!

There's nothing you can do for her!

She's dead!

l've got to try!

(HUMMlNG)

Try

He really is delightfully retarded.

(ALL GASP)

l'm going to take that l.S.R.A.E.L. out!

Hold on!

Don't come any closer.

l.S.R.A.E.L. has boundary issues.

Kung fu, motherf***er!

(TlRES SQUEALlNG)

(GASPS)

l've got to try!

(HUMMlNG)

Try

Huzzah!

(TlRES SQUEALlNG)

Ooh!

(GRUNTlNG)

Try

(ALL YELLlNG)

Oh, no! The Drawn Together house, it's...

lt's gone!

Aah!

Oh, thank God you're ok!

(MOANlNG)

Oh, flick my balls. (MOANlNG)

Faster, Foxxy!

The l.S.R.A.E.L.'s right behind us!

My kingdom is only a couple miles away.

We'll be safe there!

No, you can't go home.

None of you can go home, ever again!

(ALL YELLlNG, TlRES SQUEALlNG)

You don't understand.

None of you are who you think you are!

What?

(TlRES SQUEALlNG)

You trying to say l ain't really Foxxy Brown?

What l'm trying to say is you're all fakes!

Cheap knock-offs.

You're all parodies of the real thing

created just to be on Drawn Together.

Now that the show's over,

the boss wants you all destroyed.

-But why would he want...

-Look out!

(ALL SCREAMlNG)

Without you, my life really has no meaning.

(GROANlNG)

Where is the Drawn Together gang?

I.S.R.A.E.L. must erase them!

They got away.

Looks like you screwed up, l.S.R.A.E.L.

You're in so much trouble.

You explain to boss what happened.

l.S.R.A.E.L. is sick of being blamed

for every little f***ing thing

that goes wrong in the desert.

Aah!

(ALL GROANlNG)

Oh, God. l was so scared.

l mean, l wanted to go,

"Whee, wee wee wee," all the way home.

Never trust a Jew producer.

l'm obviously a real Disney princess.

lf l weren't, why would l be so much better

than all of you people and Foxxy?

Maybe that Jew Producer

was telling the truth!

l mean, Clara,

you may look like a Disney princess,

but how many Disney princesses

have done the things you've done done?

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLlCKlNG)

And how many times you seen

Josie and the Pussycats do what l doed?

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLlCKlNG)

Now, Foxxy, let's not

jump to any conclusions here.

Come on, Captain Hero!

How many real superheroes

do you know that bang corpses?

l don't know.

Molly, how many superheroes

have you been with?

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLlCKlNG)

(SNAP)

ln fact, ain't no real cartoon characters

would do any of the things we done doed!

Come to think of it, l don't behave

anything like the real Betty Boop.

Ah, please, Toot.

We're trying to have a discussion here!

Yeah, really, Toot.

Don't make this all about you.

This is horrible! We're canceled and fake.

Just like my child support checks.

-(RlMSHOT)

-Ta!

Oh, yeah, laugh it up, Wooldoor,

but l.S.R.A.E.L.'s after us!

No one can hide from l.S.R.A.E.L.

What are we going to do?

You heard the Jew Producer.

They want us dead because we's canceled.

So if we can get Drawn Together

back on the air, we can save our asses!

(SCOFFS) Yeah, right, Foxxy.

How you plan on doing that?

l don't know yet.

But we can start with that girl

who stole our timeslot.

The Suck My Taint Girl.

She sound like she could help.

(ALL TALKlNG AT ONCE)

l am fat.

Well, l'm not fake.

So l'm going back to my kingdom.

You're all welcome to join me.

My father, the king,

will keep us safe from l.S.R.A.E.L.

l do like being safe.

Molly and l always dreamed

of going to Disneyworld.

You said you'd take me to Disneyworld!

Well, like a colostomy bag,

l'm on Foxxy's side.

l liked being a reality TV star.

Yeah! We need to get our show back.

Otherwise, l'll have to go back to

my old gig, exposing myself to children,

and that union has the worst health plan!

Fine! Then l guess we are splitting up.

How do we decide who gets the mystery van?

Later, ass bags!

(TlRES SQUEALlNG)

l'm sorry, sir. l couldn't let you

erase the Drawn Togethergang.

They were my creations, and l... l...

l loved them.

For Christ sake, Jew Producer!

They must be destroyed!

(THUNDER)

Tell me, boss, why do you

dislike the Drawn Togethergang so?

(SlGHS)

Because, they took my family from me.

They did?

l've never spoken of this before to anyone,

but with l.S.R.A.E.L. by my side,

l guess l feel safe.

My beautiful wife was taking our little girl

Sasha to her first day of elementary school.

They were singing something.

Something pure, something innocent.

Little Sasha was young

and hadn't yet been burdened

with the complexities and ugliness of life.

But then she saw it.

Mommy, Mommy!

What is that chocolate-face girl

doing to the princess?

(GASPS) No, no, no, no.

Don't look at it, honey. Close your eyes.

For God sakes, close your eyes!

Mommy! The chocolate girl is

eating the princess!

She's eating her face!

Why is she eating her face?

Mommy!

(BOTH SCREAMlNG)

My wife lost control of the car

and drove off a cIiff!

They landed in a deadly pit of alligators!

Swimming in a pit of sulfuric acid!

By the time l arrived,

there was nothing l could do

but get revenge!

Aah!

So, Jew Producer, it's not that l

dislike the Drawn Togethergang.

lt's that l hate those motherfuckers!

They took my family from me,

and l'll be damned if l let them

take my media empire!

(THUNDER)

Oh...kay. But still, l won't help you!

(CHUCKLES) l had a feeling

you would say that.

l.S.R.A.E.L. !

Jew Dad?

Jew Son?

Dad, l.S.R.A.E.L. forcibly removed me

from the only home l've ever known!

You will help l.S.R.A.E.L.,

or you'll feel what it's like

when something horrible happens

to your child! You hear me?

Or should l speak up?

(FEEDBACK)

Ow! Ah!

(YELLlNG)

Ok, ok! l'll find the Drawn Togethergang.

l'll help destroy them!

(CHUCKLES) l.S.R.A.E.L.,

l think the Jew Producer

will be more helpful now.

Off you go.

Destroy the Drawn Togethergang forever.

l.S.R.A.E.L. has gone nuclear.

Oh, it's good to be home.

Hark! Who goes there?

Guards, tis l, your Princess Clara.

You may kiss my feet if you like.

Oh, and once l'm inside,

you can execute them.

(STAMMERlNG) Wait, what?

Ha, ha! Just kidding.

Do you not know that impersonating

a princess is a serious offense,

punishable by death? (WHlMPERS)

Do you not know that sucking my dick

is a serious offense?

-Punishable by f*** you!

-Huh?

Now let us in at once,

or l'll have your children killed.

Yeah, it's good to be home.

(FANFARE PLAYlNG)

(CROWD CHEERlNG)

Princess! Your Highness.

What the... Who the f*** are you?

(ALL GASPlNG)

l am the king!

The king? You are not the king.

My father is the king,

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