The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie! Page #5

---

Ryan, wait up!

Molly, your plan worked like a charm!

Oh, l'm so happy!

Later on, l'm gonna let you

f*** me in the mouth!

-God damn it!

-Now, let's get out of here.

Hey, the prisoners have escaped!

(ALL SHOUTlNG AT ONCE)

Come on, Clara!

No. l have nothing to live for anymore.

l'm not a princess. Now, go.

l'll slow them down for you.

lt's the only way.

Thanks, Clara. You'll always

be a princess to me. Here.

No, you keep them.

They're of no use to me now.

l'll treasure them always.

Wait, Xandir, do me one favor.

Live your gay life to the fullest.

-Will do.

-Every day's a gift.

-Gotcha.

-And find that one special person.

Sure thing. Bye!

And hold him close

and tell him with all your heart

that you can't marry him.

The Bible forbids it.

l really gotta go.

Ok. Bye! Don't adopt!

(GRUNTlNG AND SCREAMlNG)

(ALL SHOUTlNG)

Give me those!

(GRUNTlNG)

(WHlNNlES)

(ALL CHEER)

Molly hath saved the day!

(ALL SCREAMlNG)

(ALL SCREAM)

Holy f***, it's l.S.R.A.E.L. !

Uh, hey, guys, how are you?

Uh, l'd get the hell

out of here if l were you.

-Huzzah!

-(WHlNNlES)

(ALL SCREAM)

(ORCHESTRAL MUSlC PLAYlNG)

So tired. So very, very tired.

Don't you give up, fool horse.

We got to make it to the kingdom

to get the rest of our gang

so we can all get to Make-A-Point Land.

And then, we still need to find Toot.

This is a joke. We'll never find everyone.

(MUSlC STOPS)

l said, we'll never find everyone.

(ALL SCREAMlNG)

Look! There them are-uh!

(ALL YELP)

And l.S.R.A.E.L. !

(ALL SCREAMlNG)

Whee...

Are all together again!

Wait. Where's Clara?

Oh, Clara? She's dead.

(ALL GASP)

Oh, no.

-Yeah!

-Oh, good!

-Well, that takes the sting off.

-Her arms were always my favorite part of her.

Ashes to ashes, smurf to smurf.

l'm glad you're dead, you bastard!

l hope you smurf in hell for what

you did to me in front of my kids!

l hope you smurf in hell!

(SPlTS)

(CRYlNG)

lt's ok, sweetie.

Our long national nightmare is over.

He can't hurt us anymore.

The important thing is that you survived.

-We all survived.

-(CRYlNG)

(ALL SCREAMlNG)

(BEEPS)

Say good-bye, Drawn Together!

No!

-(GRUNTS)

-I can't see!

-I can't see!

-(BOTH SCREAMlNG)

(JEW PRODUCER GRUNTS)

(ALL SCREAMlNG)

Ugh! Holy crap! l can't open the door.

lt's stuck! We gonna drown!

(ALL SCREAMlNG AND SHOUTlNG)

Don't worry, people. l'll get us out.

(GRUNTS)

Yeah, there you are.

Uhh... That wasn't well thought-out.

(ALL SCREAMlNG)

(LAUGHS)

No!

l loved you!

(DlALS)

The Drawn Together gang is gone forever.

Ok. We're on our way.

(GRUNTS)

(ALL SCREAM)

Molly, this may be it for us.

Commentary.

-Commentary?

-Commonary.

They usually have director's

commissary on these things.

Let's listen to the commonary.

Maybe they'll tell us

how to get out of here.

lt's too late. We're all gonna die!

We have to try!

(SCREAMS)

Menu.

Commentary.

Commentary on.

And play!

MATT:
So, wow.

This movie just keeps on going.

-lt's, uh...

-l hear them!

-lt's a long thing... This movie...

-Help!

-How do we get out of here?

-Shut the f*** up and listen!

Actually might very well be a bad idea,

but, um, Dave...

Dave, he needed the money.

DAVE:
Well, Matt...

Matt married into money.

Who the hell would

ever want to listen to this?

MATT:
lt used to be money.

Now, nobody has money...

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Get to the point!

All right. So now we got,

uh, we got the gang,

we put them all in this pumpkin.

We put them underwater,

and originally, this scene

wasn't even in the script at all.

The only reason we did this is 'cause,

well, we both thought

that I.S.R.A.E.L...

We had to remind the audience that

l.S.R.A.E.L. is still chasing after them.

DAVE:
Well, you thought they had to.

l remember thinking

we didn't really need this whole scene.

We were going with a new

production company, and...

But l didn't want to fight with you.

l remember being so exhausted, at this point.

My wife was, like, 9 months pregnant,

and we were, like,

in the middle of moving, right?

MATT:
You're, like, the first person

that ever had a kid.

That's how you act.

DAVE:
(LAUGHS AND STAMMERS)

l actually remember...

l'm the first person that ever had a kid

and had to argue with you at the same time.

You have got to be shitting me.

MATT:
How the hell are we going

to get them out of this scene?

We don't have any ideas, and l think...

l'm pretty sure you're the one who's like,

"Hey, why don't they

just suck on Xandir's dick,

"and Xandir's dick's got oxygen,"

'cause you're always like... The first idea is,

"Hey, they can suck each other's d*cks!"

Oh, yeah. That's a good idea.

DAVE:
l think your idea was,

"What ifXandir poos oxygen?"

Oh, no. "What if he farts oxygen,

so they have to suck his ass?"

So yours was that much better.

-MATT:
That's smarter.

-Oh, for the love of God.

This is horrible!

I don't even remember

how we got out of this.

DAVE:
Oh, you know what it was?

(CHUCKLES)

This is how we come out

with a Iot of these scenes.

lt's, like, who haven't we used in a while?

Like, Ling-Ling? What if we pull his tail,

and he infIates Iike a raft?

-That's fine, that's fine.

-So theyjust do that.

MATT:
At a certain point,

it's just like "whatever."

Ooh, l gots an idea, gang.

Let's use Ling-Ling as an inflatable raft.

DAVE:
So, anyway, l guess if this

scene's going to be worth it at all,

maybe we should at least see Foxxy's tits.

-I'm in.

-But first,

let me take off my shirt.

(GRUNTS)

(LlNG-LlNG GRUNTS)

CAPTAlN HERO:
Whoa! Unh!

We made it! Whee! (LAUGHS)

Nice tits, Foxxy.

Good work, gang.

Now let's go find Toot.

FOXXY:
Now, the only one

we needed was Toot,

so we set off on ourjourney to find her,

a journey of excitement and adventure,

mystery and mayhem, love and loss,

a journey that carried us

to far-away lands

and taught us so much about

what was right here inside us all along.

A journey which would change us all forever.

And then, we found her fat ass.

Foxxy, what the hell are you doing here?

We can't be seen together.

You'll get us killed.

Toot, you got to come with me.

You not safe here anymore, fatty.

You don't know that.

You don't know anything.

l know this.

(LAUGHS)

ANNOUNCER:
Put on your 3-D glasses now!

(WOMEN GROANlNG)

FOXXY:
Yeah, girl.

That's what the Foxxy want.

(GASPS) One finger?

Girl, you got to come back when

you can at least kick in a big toe.

What are you guys doing? Making out?

Hey, lady, less talky,

more threesome action.

(MOANS)

(WOMAN MOANS)

(TOOT GRUNTS)

(WOMAN GROANlNG)

Yes! God damn it, l miss Drawn Together.

Hold on. Oh, my God!

Where do you want it?

Where do you want it?

Anywhere but the face.

l mean, that is really degrading to women.

l mean, you could really...

-l deserved that.

-You deserve to die.

WOOLDOOR:
Get out ofthere now!

(GUNFlRE)

Let's go! Go! Go! Go!

-(SQUAWKS)

-(NEEDLE SCRATCHES)

(GUNFlRE CONTlNUES)

(CLANGS)

Stop! l can't fly without my feather!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes