The Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox Page #5

- Then unclose it.

I can't.

It's against company rules.

- And you're a company man, right?

- Right.

Everywhere you go, a**holes.

Now look, friend.

You give her the ticket, you give me the

bag, and we'll make ourselves a nice deal.

Okay, friend. A hundred bucks,

you can have the bag...

and I'll throw in a ticket

to Salt Lake for madame here.

Deal.Just hand us the bag.

Psst. First the hundred.

Where am I gonna get a hundred

this time of evening?

It's not an a**hole's problem.

I got an idea

how to square the hundred.

- How about a little

action with the lady here?

- Wait a--

- I tell you, Mr.--

- Get out, both of you!

And don't come back

without the hundred.

Still your kind of town, Malloy?

Just save that charm, Duchess.

You're gonna need it.

You know, your new schedule

about six nights off and one night on?

- Mm-hmm.

- This is your night on.

I'm not gonna get 20 bucks

lookin' like this.

Fifteen, I figured.Just get me enough

for a stake in a poker game.

- Well, hello there, little darlin'.

- Got a minute?

I got a minute,

and I got the place too.

Honk-honk.

- Stayin' in town long?

- Live here.

- What did you say your name was?

- Cooper.

Well, you're a mighty

handsome fella, Mr. Cooper.

That's what they tell me.

Well now, little darlin'.

Well, aren't you gonna pull down

your trousers and take off your shoes?

That sounds like a hell

of an idea to me, little lady.

It's better this way, Mr. Cooper.

One of us would've hated it.

[WHISTLES]

Come on.

That was fast. No wonder

you make 40,000 a night.

Now how about you

going into your act?

Come on. I may need you.

Now get this straight.

You come in about

five minutes after me.

Just wait right over here now.

I'll be in the game by then.

[CHATTERING]

- Two dollars.

- Whiskey.

Your two and three more.

All right.

Your three and five more.

Get your hands off me,

you drunken bum!

[LAUGHTER]

What do you think I am? You

lousy, good-for-nothin' drunk!

I'm a lady!

And a high-priced one too!

- Come on, relax.

- [LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

All right, stranger.

Let's see 'em.

- Full house, aces over kings.

- Yeah, that beats me.

Well, thank you, gentlemen.

As the saying goes...

"The race is not always to the swift,

nor the battle to the strong...

- but that's the way to bet."

- [CYMBALS CLASHING]

- Did somebody drop that?

- You dropped that.

- Hold that.

- Sh*t.

Hey, Sleeping Beauty.

Come on, come on.

- Got the hundred?

- Yeah, yeah. Come on. Hurry up.

Would ya hurry up,

for heaven's sake!

Eighty, 90, 1 00. Okay.

Hey, where'd you go?

Just gimme the bag.

What's all this? What's

going on here? What's at stake?

Nothing just my life.

Give me the bag.

That oughta be worth

at least another 1 0.

Oh, crooks.

Everybody's a crook. Here.

Now give me the bag!

What do we do now,

Bloodworth?

Well, they gotta be here.

Let's check the hotels.

See the lady gets a stage

to Salt Lake, okay?

There he is!

Don't let him get away!

- Come on!

- Let's go! Come on!

There she is, Sheriff.

There's the whore that rolled me.

[GRUNTS]

Get up, ya clumsy bum!

You're makin' a fool of yourself!.

There he is!

Don't let him get away!

[SHOUTING CONTINUES]

Come on,you guys!

Malloy! Malloy, help me!

- Malloy!

- [GROANS]

- Whoa!

- [GRUNTS]

- [NEIGHS]

- I've seen guys do this a million times...

but the horse always helps!

What'd you come back for?

If I knew, I'd probably

have myself put away.

- Where do we go now?

- I don't know.

- You don't know?

- No.

What about them?

They're not fussy.

They'll go anywhere we go.

Come on.

Look around.

They gotta be here somewhere.

Welcome. Are you with

the bride's family or the groom?

- Bride's.

- Groom.

- Uh, both, both.

- Both.

You put this on.

Let me have your hat, please.

- What?

- Thank you. A very nice gift.

The children would like it.

Oh, no.

It would be better if it

was new, but thank you.

- That-That's not a gift.

- Shh, shh.

Joshua Partner, you've had the mazel

to find a wonderful girl like Addie.

You should both live

and be well to 1 20 years...

and you should have naches

from your children.

- [ALL] Amen.

- You should be healthy and strong.

- Amen.

- You should have a good crop every year.

Amen.

You should grow barley

and corn and potatoes...

and tomatoes, turnips and onions

and radishes and a pickle.

- Amen.

- You should wear warm underwear in the rain.

- You shouldn't catch cold, God forbid.

- Amen.

And God should protect you from rustlers

and claim jumpers, the dirty bastards.

Amen.

Please put the ring

on the bride's finger.

I now pronounce you

man and wife.

- Mazel tov.

- [ALL] Mazel tov!

[WHISTLES]

[APPLAUSE]

Psst, Blackjack. Blackjack.

Malloy, they're coming.

Do something!

- Mazel tov, kids!

- Amen. Amen.

Amen. Amen.

Howdy.

We're lookin' for them two survivors

of that coach wreck yesterday.

Ain't seen 'em since last night.

- Think they left town?

- Couldn't have without I seen 'em.

Ain't no one gone by except an old Indian and

Jim the stable boy and those Horowitz kids.

Horowitz kids? Well, how come

we just seen them and their folks...

down in the hotel havin'

a prenuptial breakfast?

Well, you couldn't have.

I tell you I seen 'em last night.

Come a-rumblin' outta here in a brand-new

rig, two horses in front and one in the back.

What was the color

of the one in the back?

- It was black.

- Any particular markings?

- Had a big "21 " on its ass.

- Ah, damn it!

Let's go! Come on! Damn it!

[RATTLING]

[RATTLING CONTINUES]

- Holy geez!

- [HORSES NEIGHING]

You dumb idiot!

Now we got no horses!

I thought you were asleep! What are you

foolin' around with guns for in the afternoon?

I knew I couldn't miss.

Either way I had to hit a snake.

- [BULLET RICOCHETING]

- Aah!

Maybe she got him or he got her.

[WHOOPING]

Listen to that noise. You can still

hear the whole damn thing.

I don't care. It's better

than bein' bit by a snake, isn't it?

How do I know till I try it?

Blackjack, come on!

[SMACKING LIPS]

Come on. Don't go to sleep now.

You told the whole world where

they can come and take my $40,000.

Oh, Malloy.

You and your lousy money.

Come on.

- Looks like the end of the line.

- What the hell do we do now?

Don't worry. I'll think

of something. I always have.

Been in plenty of tight spots.

I always get out of' em on my own--

my own brain, my own guts,

the good sense that God gave me.

Got into them on my own.

Get out of' em on my own.

Got any ideas?

- No.

- Sh*t.

Hey, Charlie!

Come on, Blackjack.

Meet you downstream.

For God's sake, this time get it right.

[HORSES NEIGHING]

- Tracks head out that way.

- Let's go.

Damned if this ain't pretty!

- Duchess?

- Hmm?

Do you wanna come over

by me right up close...

see if we can't enjoy

the view together?

- What you got in mind?

- Nothin'.

Swear to God, not a thing.

I just wanna lie here

and enjoy the quiet...

the river, the view, the sky...

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