The DUFF Page #8

Take me on this table right now.

What's up? Oh, California roll?

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm just really

feeling this sushi.

It's really...

It's doing something to me.

Yeah. Well, thanks.

No, like I said, it's the poetry

of the chord progression

intertwining with the poetry

of the lyrics.

It's like two people in love.

Yeah, like a midget jerking it.

Yeah, funny. Actually,

that kind of reminds me of a song

that I wrote a few weeks ago.

I could play it for you later

if you like.

- Yeah, totally.

- Yeah, totally.

You know, I've been working

on a poem myself.

There once a boy named Toby Tucker

Bianca Piper just wished he would...

Okay, I think

I'm gonna use the bathroom.

Where is it?

What are you doing to me out there?

What...? You're not into Wesley,

are you?

You bet your ass, you are.

Who's number one in your brain?

- No. Get out.

- This guy. This guy is.

- Yeah.

- Get out.

Okay, you've

gotta pull it together, okay?

Toby Tucker is gonna play you a song,

and you're gonna love it.

Here we go.

Are you okay? Little cold?

I'm a little chilly, yeah.

Oh, hang on.

There you go. Better?

Yeah, definitely. Thanks.

So here's the song.

- Be gentle. I'm still working on it, so...

- Okay.

Baby, you set my soul on fire

And, girl, you are my heart's desire

Don't you know it's true

In everything we do

I just want it to be

The two of us

I don't know exactly how to rhyme that.

- Oh, no. It's so good, though.

- Thank you. I think it's great.

I mean, I've been working on it

for a little bit, so...

But enough about me.

I mean, how have you been,

after that video came out?

It's been a little tough.

A lot of people... A lot of people saw it.

I don't know.

To be honest,

the saddest part about it is that...

I kind of got into a fight

with my best friends, and...

Jess and Casey?

Yes, Jess and Casey.

And I don't know,

it's, like, my fault pretty much.

I kind of wanna reach out,

but I'm not really sure

- what I should do about it, and...

- You should talk to them.

I mean, they seem like really caring,

understanding people, so...

Sorry, are you friends with them?

Yeah, Jess is in my drama class

and I have trig with Casey.

Oh, yeah. You know...

I mean, Jess is, like,

an amazing actress.

And dancer.

- And dresser.

- Okay.

And Casey, she's, like,

this, you know, fiery Latina.

You know, caliente, you know.

Yeah, she's very spicy.

But, you know, I'm not really friends

with them right now, so...

Is it intimidating?

What?

Being friends with...

And it's rare that I point this out,

because I do not subscribe to

the American ideal of feminine beauty.

But such powerful women?

Oh, no. No, no, no.

A friend of mine was wondering,

do they have dates to

the homecoming dance next weekend?

I tried to keep my composure, but...

Are you DUFFING me?

Excuse me?

You are.

This is a DUFF.

You're using me to try

to get closer to Jess and Casey,

because you think that

I'm approachable, aren't you?

Okay, look, when you said

that we should hang out Friday,

I thought you were hinting

that they were gonna be here.

Like, I thought that you were saying

that they were into me.

I can't... I can't even believe this.

I can't believe for five seconds

I thought that...

- Bianca, Bianca.

- What?

Can I have my sweatshirt?

Okay, you know what?

Here, you can have it.

Oh, hell, no.

Mr. Sushi?

- The song was mine.

- Yeah.

I'm not surprised,

because it was a piece of sh*t.

And so are you. Have a nice night.

- Hello?

- Wes, it's Bianca.

Just kidding. It's my voice mail.

Wes, it's Bianca.

So it turns out that Toby's

been DUFFING me the whole time.

And I've just been thinking

about some stuff, and I just...

I'd really like to talk to you, okay?

Call me back.

Hey, I got your message.

Yeah, forget about it. Just go home.

Look, I'm sorry about Toby.

Okay? He's an idiot.

You know, I saw you and Madison.

- Okay.

- You were at my special place.

You know, that's my Think Rock.

You said I could use it.

Not as a Motel 6, Wes.

You were on a date with Toby.

Are you seriously mad at me right now?

I thought we were friends.

Come on, we're not friends.

You know, people like you don't hang out

with people like me, you know?

That's just the way it is.

Football guys, they date hot chicks.

And people like me don't date anybody.

I don't know why I thought

it could be different.

What are you talking about?

B, this isn't you.

Please, Wes, you're embarrassed

to be seen with me at school.

Okay?

It's just...

This was an experiment, and it worked

for you and it didn't work for me,

so let's just forget it, okay?

- B...

- Please, just go home.

So, what does homecoming mean to me?

The word "homecoming" itself

conjures up feelings

of warmth and comfort.

High school offers me none of that.

I know some people will tell you

that homecoming is about celebrating,

but to the majority of kids in school,

it's just another night

where you feel pressure

to find the perfect date,

the perfect outfit,

and have the perfect evening.

Come Monday morning,

it's back to reality.

I don't know about you,

but I'm happy to sit this one out.

I didn't regret hitting "send,"

but I did regret how I left things

with Jess and Casey.

So all of this because of some word?

It didn't feel like

just some word to me.

I think deep down I've always known

you guys were prettier than me,

and I felt like I couldn't

talk to you about it

because you wouldn't understand what

it felt like to be your schlumpy friend.

But, you know, you're wrong,

because we all have our insecurities.

The point is, we're a team.

If anything, we're kind of chumps

in comparison to you.

Okay, now you went too far.

You had me and then you lost me.

Oh, no, she's right, B.

You are by far the smartest one

of the three of us.

You're loyal, you're funny.

And we can't be Bianca,

Jess and Casey without Bianca.

Thanks.

Okay, you know what?

Tonight how about we ditch our dates

and have a girls' night?

- Done.

- What? No, no way.

Guys, it's homecoming.

You're definitely going.

I just... I can't see Wes.

Or Toby. Or anyone, for that matter.

Just let me stay here and lie

amongst the pizza a little longer.

- Absolutely not.

- Mom.

- You're listening at the door again?

- Yes, I was. This is juicy stuff.

Now it all makes sense.

Mom, I've been through

all of your stages, okay?

I am already at the fifth

and final stage:
acceptance.

Honey, forget about the five stages.

I have got some real advice for you.

We're gonna call it stage 11.

Yeah, it's sort of acceptance plus,

where you realize who you are,

you accept it,

and then you... turn it up to 11.

Is that supposed to be Robert Pattinson?

No, Spinal Tap.

The movie, Spinal Tap.

"This one goes to 11."

Let's stop.

All right, honey, you're a weirdo.

Fine, own it.

Be the best weirdo you can be.

You have spent the last month

worrying so much

about what other people think about you.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote