The Dukes of Hazzard: Reunion! Page #4

I'm closing in on them, sheriff.

Me too. I love it.

Oh, we got them trapped like rats.

Stay with them, Cletus.

You are aware this road

goes to Dry Creek.

I am aware that this road

goes to Dry Creek.

You are aware there's no way

to get over Dry Creek.

I am aware that there's one way

to get over Dry Creek.

LUKE:

Oh, Lord, we're gonna die.

Yee-haw!

Hang on, Luke.

Whoa! Oh!

[ROSCO SCREAMING]

[DOG WHIMPERING]

You all right?

BALLADEER:
Which is not

the way to get over Dry Creek.

- The General can still outrun old Rosco.

-Yep.

- What do you say we try some curves. huh?

-Why not?

Well, well, the so-called General Lee.

Here they come.

Let's see what they got.

They're not making cars like this

anymore.

LUKE:
People must not have

enough to do today.

We got company again.

I don't recognize these guys.

It's looking awful close.

LUKE:
Who are those guys?

-I don't know.

- They're wearing crash helmets?

-We can't today. No way.

- They really wanna race.

-We gotta save it for Saturday.

- They won't take no for an answer.

-We can't do it.

The suspension won't do it.

Hey, what are you doing, now?

- What's the matter with those guys?

- They look serious. Look out.

Well, you haven't lost your touch.

BALLADEER:
Y'all hang on...

- Baseball cards.

BALLADEER:
...we're just getting started.

-Yeah, look.

ENOS:
Oh, you ready?

-Sure am.

Oh.

But I wasn't ready for that.

I've been planning for years to do that,

Daisy.

Ever since you kissed me goodbye.

It's worth the wait.

Almost.

BALLADEER:
The old Boar's Nest was

destroyed during a wedding reception...

...so a new one opened up across town.

[SINGING OH SUSANNA"]

LUKE:
Sounded painful.

COOTER:
Yep.

Y'all, I'm gonna take it in

and start beating it out.

I think you need to take the night off.

- Hey. stay out of trouble.

BO:
Oh, yeah.

Well, there it is, Luke.

The Boar's Nest.

- Where we learned all our social skills.

-That explains why we're still single.

- You think?

LUKE:
I know.

BO:

Come on in.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING

INDISTINCTLY]

- Here's to good times.

- And good memories.

- And absent friends, huh?

-Amen.

- Here, I'll--

ENOS:
Yeah.

[ALL LAUGHING]

So these guys

just rammed you off the road?

- Yep.

-So you have no idea who they are?

I couldn't really see.

They had helmets on.

But I tell you what--

[MEN LAUGHING]

[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey, Luke?

-Hmm?

-Isn't that...?

-it sure is.

MAX:
You know, without the

helmet on, I do recognize the driver.

He's a disbarred race driver

named Kam Cutler.

Oh, Luke.

- They wouldn't.

-You wanna bet?

BO:
Shall we?

-Let's do it.

BO:
Excuse us.

DAISY:
Sure.

Wait, wait, now.

You missed the best part here.

My buddy Kam here,

he gives them a little love tap...

...and they just flip over.

[LAUGHING]

- Fools gotta flip.

-Evening ladies.

Well, well, well,

if it's not the Hazzard lug nuts.

What could we do for you boys?

Well, I was hoping that you could

give me Kam there's autograph.

That is, if he can write.

MAN:
Ooh.

-Ooh.

We figured since you was

responsible for our wreck...

...you might wanna contribute

to our car-repair fund.

Oh, hey, hey.

I will pay for the whole car.

Let's see here.

Here's a dollar.

[LAUGHING]

MAN:

There's a dollar.

- I'm offended. Are you offended?

-I'm offended.

[GRUNTING]

- Daisy, would you excuse me, please?

-Sure.

That ain't fair, buddy-ro.

Get off of me.

LUKE:

Well, look what we have here.

Howdy, Kam.

Why don't you take your dollar back

and get a haircut?

[LAUGHING]

See you at the starting line.

BALLADEER:
Can't nobody say they

don't know how to have fun in Hazzard.

Ryker, where'd you hire that muscle,

Cirque du Soleil?

Those clowns fight like ballet dancers.

- Come on, get tough.

-Ow.

Yes, Mama. Will you stop it?

You know what?

One more stunt like this...

...and y'all are gonna race

in a big orange pile of parts.

Wish I knew what they was up to.

They snooker us into making a bet...

...they hire an outlaw driver, wreck our car

and pick a fight with us.

What exactly makes you think

they're up to something?

[CHUCKLES]

It's almost enough to make a man

consider a few tricks of his own.

You start acting like your enemy,

what makes you any better?

I've been up pacing the floor all night

worrying.

Why'd they even talk us into this race?

If they lose, they build the causeway

and they got the theme park.

- No, there'll be no theme park.

-What?

Back in '41

...the Army Corps of Engineers

was gonna build a causeway...

...as a shortcut to Fort Hooker

and they found out there's no bedrock.

So they can't build it.

Mama Max knows that.

Now, you boys gotta win this race...

...and you gotta win it fair and square.

Get back to work.

MAX:

Twenty-four thousand five.

- Twenty-five thousand dollars.

-Five thousand dollars. Oh!

You get the next 75,000

when the lease is signed on Saturday.

Well, listen, don't you worry about that,

you know.

- What I worry about is this Kam...

-Kam.

Yeah, whatever, beating Bo Duke,

you know.

Listen, you have no idea

what that General Lee can do.

He ain't human.

Honey, do you really think that old relic

can beat the Double Zero?

- Oh, no.

-No.

- Never.

-No.

Ain't no way he can fight the king.

- Come with me, Clint.

-Clint.

- Take your money.

-Oh, yes.

- Yeah, don't forget that.

-No.

- Come on.

-A lot of doggy num-nums in here.

MAX:

Yeah.

Ta-da.

You're gonna enter two vehicles

dressed alike?

Oh, that's cute.

But you see they only look alike.

Kam.

They do look alike if you--

[ROSCO BABBLING]

That is not a stock-car engine.

- No.

-No.

That is a super turbo-charged

racing engine.

Nothing in this country can catch it.

- Well, that's illegal.

-You're very quick.

Well, they're gonna check that engine

when you take it up to the starting line.

No. They won't be checking

this engine.

They'll be checking that engine.

- Well, they're gonna check...

-Get it?

Well, l...

No, I don't get it exactly.

- Well, it will come to you.

ROSCO:
Oh.

Now, why don't you just go home

and count your money...

...and leave the driving to us, Clint?

Clint. Yes.

I'll get it. I get it. I'll get it.

[CHUCKLING]

Deputy Dawg never even

checked his money.

I don't think he would ever have

suspected counterfeit...

...if the picture on the bills

had been Daffy Duck.

- Light me, sweet cheeks.

-You got it.

There you go.

More soil samples.

Yeah, we have to get

the new assayefls report out right away.

Nothing can go wrong now.

ROSCO:
Hey, you look

at this, boss. Look at this.

I think I did everything

that you taught me.

Dang it, little fat buddy.

I sure wish you could have been here.

You'd love it. You'd love it.

I got $100,000 for a piece of rot--

Worthless swamp, you know.

It's not good for anything

except, you know...

...deer and raccoons and little butterflies

and crickets...

...and snakes and gators,

lots of gators.

BALLADEER:
And all that breeding

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes