The Dukes of Hazzard: Reunion! Page #6

No, no. No, I do understand.

We won't say anything to anybody.

Just don't you hurt her.

[DIAL TONE HUMMING]

They'll let her go right after the race,

providing we lose.

Now. we're not supposed

to say anything to anybody...

...or we may never see Daisy again.

BALLADEER:
Things sure turned ugly.

Even I didn't figure on that.

They said to tell everybody

Daisy has the flu.

- That will explain her absence.

-That's gonna be tricky, isn't it...

...considering she's in the middle

of planning her wedding.

Oh, the wedding.

How are we gonna tell Enos?

- What are we gonna tell him?

-Tell him the truth.

Would you like somebody lying

if your fiance got kidnapped?

- Who's gonna tell him?

-I ain't telling him. Don't look at me.

- Flip you for it.

LUKE:
If you think you're man enough.

BO:
Uncle Jesse.

-Feet together.

LUKE:
Yeah.

-Go.

- Yeah, you're so strong.

-Yeah, you've been out of town too long.

[GRUNTING]

[LAUGHING]

You all right?

Two out of three?

[PHONE RINGS]

- Yeah, what?

RYKER:
We got problems, woman problems.

I'll be right there. Call you back.

LUKE:

it's a little one.

Now, when you boys finish filleting

these rattlesnakes, give me a call.

I'll be down picking some more chilies

for my chili sauce.

Uncle Jesse,

why do we have to do this now?

Well, now, Bo,

we gotta act like nothing's wrong.

Just keep on living our lives

as if nothing has happened.

- Yes, sir.

-Now, here's two more snakes.

They're dead. Well, almost.

Like my day isn't complete

unless I get to filet a rattlesnake.

- Well--

-Daisy's been kidnapped.

We're sitting here making snake soup.

It doesn't make any sense to me.

[LUKE IMITATES RATTLESNAKE

THEN BO GASPS]

[LAUGHING]

- Luke, it's not funny.

-Hi, fellas. Daisy around?

Uh, no. She's gone, sort of.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, sort of gone where?

Enos, you know while you were doing

that police work out West...

...did you ever work a kidnapping?

Daisy?

ENOS:

Oh.

Whatever ransom they want,

my folks and me will sign over our farm.

Now, you don't understand,

it ain't money that they're after.

They won't let her go

until we've lost the race...

...and the lease is signed

on that theme park.

Daisy's kidnapped

for some dumb old theme park?

You know, Bo, he's right.

It don't make sense.

You'd risk a federal charge on kidnapping

for a theme park?

Well, no. I wouldn't, but I ain't some

crazy lady from the big city.

- Fellas, what are we gonna do?

-Well, like Jeb Stuart once said:

When the enemy's got you

outmanned and outgunned...

...that's the time to outthink them.

Ain't he smart?

I hope so.

She's over here. You're gonna love this.

[SEWING MACHINE BUZZING]

- Okay, what's the problem?

DAISY:
Well, your plan won't work.

Enlighten me.

Possum Ugly says that you plan on keeping

me till after the race to make sure you win.

And my absence is explained

by my having the flu.

- On the nose.

-What about my wedding on Saturday?

- Wedding?

-At the finish line of the race.

Everybody's invited. I'm making

my wedding dress here right now.

If my wedding plans aren't continued...

...people are gonna think it's strange.

flu or no flu.

If people think I've disappeared.

there won't be a race.

Because everybody in Hazzard

will be looking for me.

Hold it, hold it. Nobody is so tacky they

get married at the finish line of a car race.

Well, I am. Enos proposed to me.

I finally said yes.

- He's been waiting thirty years.

MAX:
Oh.

- That's crazy.

-Not for Hazzard.

If Enos comes looking for you

and he finds you--

Well. he's a Los Angeles police sergeant.

- Well, he's a long way from Hazzard, babe.

-He's not in L.A., babe.

He's that big boy that threw you

through the window.

And he wasn't even mad at you, then.

MAX:

How will you plan a wedding?

Well. obviously your boys

are gonna have to help.

- Like run errands and things.

-This broad's nuts.

Oh, Mama Max,

have you ever been married?

- Sure. Lots of times.

-Really? So you like weddings.

My favorite things. After Jeopardy.

Look, I know this is forward of me...

...but would you please

help me plan my wedding?

But this is insane.

DAISY:

My mother died when I was born.

I've never had anyone

who knows about taste and stuff.

- No, it's impossible.

-At least think about it? It is my wedding.

I would be the last person in the world

to spoil a wedding, but I--

Well, then just advise me, please. I mean,

like, I had this idea about the bridesmaids.

- Like, should they be dressed in daisies?

-Daisies?

- Yeah.

- No, no, no. That is so sans golit.

There. You see, I would have "sans-golited"

all over my wedding.

For a daisy motif,

you should carry daisies in your bouquet.

Your bridesmaids should wear yellow.

You're in white. Those are daisy colors.

I love it. Oh, I love it.

Mama Max. See, I would have

never thought of that. You see, I just--

- You have to help me, please.

-All right.

I guess it wouldn't hurt if I just advise you.

Ryker, give her anything she needs.

- What?

-Thank you.

BALLADEER:
Now, ain't women

something? They can be mortal enemies.

But they'd interrupt the last judgment

to plan a wedding.

- Man, I can't believe this.

-Come on now, let's go.

We can't even try to win the race

while they're holding Daisy.

So we gotta try to find and rescue Daisy

before the race?

- Except that won't work.

-Really? Why not?

That's exactly when they'll expect us

to make some move.

When won't they be expecting us

to make some kind of move?

- During the race.

-What? While we're driving?

See, it even fooled you.

Uh...

- How y'all gonna do that?

-Got no idea.

Besides, first we gotta find Daisy.

- I got a question.

-Just one?

What in the world's Uncle Jesse cooking?

Hold still. What did I say?

Hold still.

- My hem's gonna be crooked.

-Mama Max, keep that door closed.

- Roy, get out.

-Ryker, quit fidgeting.

- Daisy, how do you cut on the bias?

-Oh, it's a little trick I learned.

MAX:

Oh, that's great.

Oh, the cake. I ordered a cake

just covered in daisies.

Forget the daisies.

Use one, tastefully centered.

- Right. I'll call the baker.

-No. Wait. Ryker, nobody knows your voice.

You go make the call.

- Do I have to?

-Yes. And take that dress off, silly.

And put your pants on.

Change Daisy's cake? Well, okay.

Just one daisy on top

and not a lot of little ones? Got it.

May I speak to Dai--?

That's funny.

Daisy didn't say anything

about putting little daisies all over her cake.

There's just so many places

they could be hiding her.

I mean, she might not even

be in the county.

I gotta take this chili over to the square

so it can be judged tomorrow.

Somehow, it's just not my best effort.

My heart just wasn't in it.

[PHONE RINGING]

- Hello, Duke residence.

-Hi, this is Sara Jane down at the bakery.

- May I speak to Daisy, please?

-Hey, Sara Jane. No, I'm sorry.

- She's up in bed with the flu.

-Oh, I'm awful sorry.

You see, I just got this strange call

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